Saturday, May 07, 2011

Tearful Goodbye, Little Broken Heart, Old Promise (Re)Vowed

Another story about a sad farewell between my Little Godsend & her beloved “Mba Mewa”. About a mother’s broken promise & God’s friendly reminder.


Akhirnya saat itu dateng juga. Mela hamil. Which meant only 1 thing: she resigned. Demi Kukka, aku udah siapin fisik & mental sebulan sebelum dia pergi. Secinta-cintanya Kukka sama ibunya, Mela udah ikut ngurusin Kukka sejak dia umur 4 bulan. So, as long as Kukka could remember, her beloved Mba Mewa was always there. Paling ditinggal sebulan sekali selama 2 hari. Itu pun suka pake demam ngga jelas. So, ngga kebayang deh kalo ditinggal for good efeknya akan seperti apa.


First thing first. Yang pasti aku harus kembali (bekerja) di rumah karena ngga ada gantinya Mela. She’s good, yes. But not exactly irreplaceable. Tapi aku belum berani nyari orang (apalagi dari yayasan) untuk ngejaga Kukka. I could never leave her with a stranger who would refer Kukka as just another job. So, dengan berat hati, aku ninggalin my new krucil friends at Neo.


Sebulan sebelumnya I told Kukka the truth coz eventho she might not understand it, I didn’t want to lie about it either. Awal-awal Kukka seperti ngga ngedenger kalo dibilangin. Denial kali ya... Tapi seminggu terakhir, Kukka bilang “Mba Mela has a baby in her tummy. She has to go home.” Pas Mela pamitan, kirain Kukka bakal nangis histeris. Ternyata dia malah melengos & tetep sibuk maen iPad. Bahkan ngelirik ke Mela pun nyaris ngga. Sementara Mela-nya meluk sambil bercucuran air mata :)) Only when Mela & her husband’s motor bike was finally out of sight, K started to shed some tears. Sejak hari itu Ica & aku berusaha ngejaga perasaan Kukka. Level manjain agak dinaekin dikit. Hampir setiap hari Kukka diajak jalan-jalan. Paling ngga mampir ke Giant Bintaro, “Disneyland”-nya Kukka :)) So, in a way maybe she’s happier. She has her Bubu around the clock & she gets to go out almost everyday.


Hari ini udah sebulan lebih Kukka ditinggal mbanya. Dia jarang nanyain Mela. Aku juga minta keluarga ato orang yang tau situasi ini untuk ngga nanya ke dia kemana Mela. Biasanya kan orang (dewasa) suka iseng, menganggap pertanyaan seperti “Kukka, Mba Mela kemana?” seolah-olah lucu. Padahal kan itu menyedihkan buat dia. Stressful. Kaya orang baru putus aja. Males banget kan kalo ditanya-tanya kaya gitu. I truly believe that if Kukka wanted to talk about Mela, she would ask. No need to poke her feelings. Dan bener... Sekitar 2 minggu kemudian di suatu sore yang sepi, Ica lagi main game & aku lagi baca buku, tiba-tiba Kukka nanya “Where is Mba Mewa, Bubu?” There was a hint of sadness & maturity in her voice which almost made me cry. I tried really hard to answer her in the coolest, most loving & understandble way. A week later, Kukka had a high fever. She hit almost 39C. I told Ica, maybe this was it. Her way to express the stress. Alhamdulillah setelah dikasih obat penurun panas, her fever went away. Along with the stress, I surely hope. Sekarang Kukka baik-baik aja :) Udah mulai mau berteman sama mba yang satu lagi. Jadi di rumah ada temen lagi yang bisa diajak ngobrol bahasa Indonesia :D


As for me... Well, life is not as practical as it was when Mela was still around. Mau terapi, ke salon, ato sekedar ke ATM sebentar aja, ngga bisa tanpa bawa Kukka. I even canceled my Celebrity Fitness membership :D But everything is fine. My husband & my girl are healthy & happy. Life is good & this whole thing is kinda funny actually.


Dulu, jauh sebelum ada Kukka, aku janji sama diri sendiri to be a stay-at-home mother. I kept my promise for about 2.5 years after Kukka was born. Then I wanted to go back to work. Apparently Allah agreed. I got a job really easy, had fun & made new super cool & funny friends. Janjiku sama Ica & Kukka aku cuma kerja 1 bulan aja. 1 jadi 2, 2 jadi 5. Ica mulai sering nanya “Kapan sih selesai kontraknya?”. Kukka juga hampir selalu nangis kalo aku berangkat ke kantor. Sementara temen-temen & bos di kantor makin “menggoda” & aku pun semakin bingung. Tiba-tiba...TWEWEEEEW!! Suatu siang, lagi asik ketawa-ketiwi sama anak-anak kantor, Mela SMS me with the news. I looked up & grinned :D Saat itu juga yang terlintas di kepala adalah “Waks! Ditegur nih sama Allah gara-gara udah ingkar janji.” Alhamdulillah dikasih tegurannya dalam bentuk kebahagiaan, bukan musibah. I immediately asked Allah for forgiveness & I also apologized to K. Now I’m back to welcoming husband when he comes home every night & I'm there whenever my Little Godsend reaches a new milestone.


I’m so blessed.



5 comments:

Dinda said...

oh wow. what you did was awesome. belum pernah loh aku ketemu sama ibu2 yang 'menjaga perasaan'anaknya karena pisah sama mbak. biasanya udah makin marahin anaknya aja karena rewel :P

you, cool! me, a proud stranger :D

Farika said...

Dindaaaaaaa!! This is sooooo weird!! I was just thinking about you tadi siang!! Udah kepikiran mau nge-message :))

Heheh.. I've read somewhere that toddlers/kids are really just small adults. In many ways they want to be treated like we want to be treated.

Nice to hear from you again, my perfect stranger :)

Dinda said...

ahahahah... nice to see you updating your blog :P. Aku belakangan kesurupan nulis nih, gara2 blog walking kemana-mana.

agree. kids are small adults! Hope Kuks will feel better soon. time will heal :)

Dewi Santika said...

tante ita..tulisannya inspirative banget..^^

Farika said...

Dinda: Ngapdet blog juga? Asiiik! Meluncuuuuur! :D

Wawi: Makasiiii :*