Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Losing Faith - The Death of a Hopeless Romantic

Because life is a long journey, one should have something he can look forward to. Some excitedly planning for New Year’s eve 6 months before. Some couldn’t wait for the day they turn 17. Busy people almost patiently waiting for every weekend to come so they can spend time with their loved ones. Teenagers anxiously waiting for the same date in every month to celebrate their “anniversaries” with their boy- and girlfriends, and then tweet about it like crazy. Somebody is willing to drive across town to find the perfect Valentine’s bouquet. Because everybody needs some excitements in his life. Excitements that come in the form of the thrill of giving, getting, wanting and needing. Of course there are also people who don’t give a crap about these things. That certain dates are just another day which comes and goes just like any other dates. That certain celebrations are a waste of money. That surprises are overated. Everybody is entitled to have his own belief. So there’s no wrong or right. 

What’s sad is when someone who used to believe in those “magic moments” suddenly loses her faith. Losing it makes her numb and ends up living her days more like a programmed robot. Or a ghost. Floating from places to places, just for the sake to be somewhere instead of living the moments and cherishing the beauty of the places she’s been or the company she’s been with. Not to feel anything is a scary feeling that nobody should ever experience in her life. Especially for someone whose life used to be filled with love, fun and excitements. A hopeless romantic, as I called it. A person who thinks that all you need in this world is love. 

For a hopeless romantic, choosing to be indifferent is not an easy task. The moment she tries not to care in the things that she used to believe in is the moment where her life has turned into a neverending hardwork. Because eventhough deep down her heart is still aching to get those magic moments back, she has to try with all her might not to expect anything anymore. Yet in the same time she still secretly waiting to be saved by the very person that she loves to make her believe again. 

Because the saddest, most ironic and probably pathetic part of it all is that, intentionally or subconsciously, “dead” or alive, she is doing it, still... 

In the name of love.