Friday, January 25, 2008

Back From Hibernation

Today was my first day of (back to) work...

Nervous.
Anxious.
Tired.
Happy.
Confused.
Excited.
Estranged.

...

It has been too long.
A lot is going on.
Too much.
Too strange.

...

I don't know what to say...

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Hairy Belly

Suatu pagi abis sarapan bareng suami, aku kekenyangan, senderan di kursi, angkat kaos sedada, elus-elus perut yang buncit & keras. Si suami berkomentar:

"He??? Ko perutnya berbulu gitu sih?? Banyak bulunya!! Karena isinya bayi Arab* yah?"

Yeeeeee.... Si oom!! Kamana wae?! Dari kemaren-kemaren juga aku udah bilang kaleee, bahwa perutku sekarang banyak bulu halusnyaaaa! Dari kemaren-kemaren juga kan kamu cium-cium perutku! Masa baru ngeh-nya sekaraaang?!?! Tsk... Tsk... Kurang perhatian nih:p

Rasanya jadi aneh. Setiap kali sabunin perut, jadi merinding. Apalagi kalo kegesek kaos! Geliiii sampe goosebumps :D

Pregnancy, does many weird things to a woman's body. Allahu Akbar...


*
FYI, suatu hari aku bilang sama Ica, that our baby kali nanti look-nya bisa kaya Cina atau Arab. Soalnya selaen Sangir, Jawa & Belanda, dia kan ada turunan Cina & Arab-nya, which I think yang paling keliatan dominan. Plus ngga hanya 1-2 orang yang nyangka aku chinese juga. So... You do the math hkhkhhkkk...

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

OMG, Where Do I Begin :)

Banyak yang pengen diceritain, dijelasin. Mungkin dimulai dari ngejawab 1 pertanyaan spesifik yang aku dapetin dari sana-sini, berulang-kali, baru-baru ini.

"Hamil ko ngga bilang-bilang sih!?"

Intonasi & cara penulisan berbeda-beda. Ada yang pure surprised, ada yang bete :D Ada juga yang protes "Kenapa gue ngga bole bilang-bilang sih elo hamil?" (including my husband :p)

Aduh, percaya deh! The second I found out that I'm pregnant, there were 3 major things in my mind: 1. disbelief. 2. millions of worries. 3. wanting to scream out & share to the whole world. But (unfortunately) my worries conquered all :D

Mulai dari takut dokternya salah liat, takut lab-nya salah nge-label nama darahku ma darah orang laen, takut kantongnya si jabang bayi kosong ngga berkembang, but most of all, takut keilangan sebelum sempet ngalamin bener-bener rasanya punya anak.

If you wanted something so badly & had to go through a lot of pain & struggle, begitu it finally happened, all seemed too good to be true. Buat aku, semakin besar juga rasa takut kehilangannya. You have something you've always wanted & then you lose it, the pain would feel a million time stronger. And sometimes, if you're sad, you want to keep it to yourself. Coz people's kind words could make it worse. Sometimes :)

Makanya, karena katanya yang crucial adalah trimester pertama, aku langsung mutusin sepihak untuk keep this a secret until at least 3 months. Keluarga aja cuma keluarga inti yang tau. Itu pun dibawah ancamanku, pokonya jangan sampe ember sana-sini :p My closest friends yang tau perjuanganku tentunya aku kasih tau juga. Lagi-lagi dibawah ancaman :D

But of course, like many other secrets, akhirnya kebongkar juga sebelum waktunya. Dimulai dari keemberan suami, kecurigaan temen-temen kantor karena udah 2 bulan lebih aku ngga nongol, sampe kebodohanku keceplosan kata-kata "mual", "pusing", "mabok", "cape", "ngantuk" :D Sebelum akhirnya aku "go public", like always, I asked my Mom for advice. Hers was simple:

"Ngga apa-apa. Ini berita baik. Semoga makin baik lagi karena makin banyak yang ngedoain."

And that's all I needed to hear. Ditambah inget mata suamiku yang berbinar-binar waktu pertama kali kita ngeliat Si Baiyi joged-joged kaya bapanya :) I thought, oh my God, he's so happy. How can I not allow him to flaunt his happiness to his friends... Anyway seperti udah diatur juga, padahal ngga sengaja, the day I shared my pregnancy to you all, usia kehamilanku udah 3 bulan 3 minggu. So, ngga "ngelanggar" keinginanku juga heheh...

Alhamdulillah sampe detik ini aku & Si Baiyi sehat. Sampe akhir bulan ini aku masih istirahat di rumah. Mual & pusingku masih ada tapi udah sedikiiit berkurang. Sayangnya, napsu makan masih kurang banget. Hope it gets better soon. Sekarang aku masih suka bingung yang aku rasain ini mual ato keroncongan :D Worry-nya masih buanyaaak, ditambah jadi cengeng & parnoan. Ngantuknya tetep tapi itu sih karena aku emang kebluk :p

My husband & I, can't get any better. The baby makes me love him even more than I could possibly imagine. I surely hope it goes both ways karena sekarang yang lebih banyak dicium ya Si Baiyi, bukan aku :p

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Alhamdulillah...

My intention was to keep *this* a secret for another month & then announce it like J-Lo :p But, I guess you couldn't (or shouldn't?) keep something like this to yourself that long :)

So, yes, yes, yeeeeessss. It's true!

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, I'm 3 months & 3 weeks pregnant, expecting, preggers, knocked up, hamil, melendung, tek-dung.

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

And Insya Allah, according to human calculation, our baby will be due in July 2008. Mohon doanya yaaaaaa... :D

BTW, makasih temen-temen yang udah tau trus kept this a secret with me. Tapi at the end of the day, ternyata suamiku sendiri yang ember sana-sini hehehe....



PS:
And this is why I haven't been posting anything in my blog --> GODSEND
I'm tutoring "someone" to blog :)