Namira And Galih's Engagement

Those who know me well must've heard the beautiful name "Namira" coming out of my mouth at least once or thrice. In arabic the name Namira means elegant, pure, pretty, and fine. Namira, my niece 🥰 She was born when I was still in highschool and I became the happiest aunty on earth eversince. The day Namira was born I officially became TANTE ITA. I was so thrilled to have her in my life. I showed off my pretty niece to everybody I know. If you don't believe me just ask my big sister, Namira's mom, my Teteh 🙂 I mean... I've always love babies because they're so cute. But Tante Ita's niece??? She was the cutest of them all! 😘

As years goes by I watched Namira grows from a lovable baby girl to a pretty, smart, successful young woman and a loving big sister. At 27 years old Si Kaka already has a promising carreer, her own place, a business and 2 adorable kitties, Abby and Ryuji. And... Well she actually has a lot more but I don't want to embarrass Si Kaka by writing everything down 😜 Oh yeah and by the way... Namira's life became merrier when her younger sister Alyna was born.

Namira and I might not see each other as often as we want to. But I try to be there for her whenever she needs me. Ocassional gossiping does happen every now and then. Online and offline. From boyfriend problems to family dramas 😉 And of course, a certain someone is always über happy when her Kaka Namira spends the night at our house 🤗

And then on Sunday the first of October 2023 was the day when my beloved niece got engaged with her longtime boyfriend, Galih. E N G A G E D. 

Oh. My. God. 🥲  My baby niece is engaged!!!!! I still can't... Oh god... Anyway... It was a lovely and intimate event in Medja Restaurant, Bogor. Galih's parents and some of his family members were there. While from our side, everybody was there except the busy ones: SiBapa, Eza, Bit and Alyna. A couple of days before the event, Teteh asked me to make a speech. She explained that usually the one who makes it is an extended family member of the bride-to-be. Like an uncle, an aunt, or a cousin. The second Teteh said to me that I should be the one to do it I was like 😱😱😱 Nooooooooooo!! It's not because I don't love Namira or I don't want to be a part of her engagement. It's just... It's too much for me! I'm sure I'd cry before I even made the speech. Just thinking about it already made my eyes teary 😭🥲 Seconds later a certain name very close to home came to mind. A very special someone who is excellent at making speeches and loves her Kaka Namira a lot. Yup. My Precious Godsend 🥰

First thing first, I told Namira about my concern. She totally understood my feelings and immediately said yes to my brilliant idea 😉 Then I asked my Precious Godsend whether she was into it or not. Without any hesitation she agreed. But while she was preparing the speech Kukka asked: 

"Are you sure it's okay I'm the one who's doing this? I don't want Kaka Namira to think that I take it as a joke. But I really do want to do it and in Bahasa Indonesia." 

Aaaaaaaaaaw Bebinya Bubuuuuu... 😘

On the evening before the engagement day Kukka wrote the speech with love, plus a little bit of help from Bubu and... Here it is 🥳

To me that Sunday in Medja Restaurant was a perfect day 🥰 

Skip And Have Fun!

It was just another Thursday at The Ica Lawendatus' home. When the parents "advised" their kid to skip school to have fun and off to... LEMBANG! 😆 Why? 1. Because it was a weekday. 2. We assumed that the traffic wouldn't be crazy. 3. There wouldn't be any crowds in recreation sites or basically anywhere. 4. ... That's just how the Mister is, telling our daughter that school is not important 😅 I'm against skipping school btw. I think never in my life have I ever skipped school. Not even when I was in Hauptschule In der Krim, Vienna. I started to skip classes when I was already in Uni 😆 

So as I've mentioned before, obviously it was SiBapa's idea. Usually I said no right away whenever he encourages our daughter to skip school. But when the school announced that sadly this week is School From Home again, I thought "Oh what the hell! Okay why not!" Since the chance of our girl paying attention during online classes is less than 80% anyways... Skipping school is better than having her constantly checking on instagram and twitter behind my back. So... Let's go! 

My first choice was actually Bandung but SiBapa said there's nothing interesting (anymore). Not like in Lembang. There are so many places to visit, things to do like adventurous stuff. SiBapa told me to google it and to ask whether the maids wanted to come along or not. So I spent Wednesday afternoon googling about Lembang. SiBapa was right. There are lots of nice places! First thing first, I told kiddo about the plan. She was thrilled. Mostly about the no school idea 😝 But yeah... She was excited. Just like Dewi. It took less than a minute for her to reply my message with "Dewi mau Bu ikut" And many thanks in advance for Bapak, Ibu and Kukka 😆 Sadly though, as I've predicted, Yuli couldn't come. Not only because of her daughter but also because her mother in-law is currently spending the night at her house 😅 Yuli was very sad about it... But yeah... Even my Precious Godsend said that it was too bad Mba Yuli couldn't come along and that we shouldn't forget to bring her "Olé-olé" 🥰 That's how Kukka pronounce "oleh-oleh" btw 😊 

The trip to Lembang took about almost 5 hours. We left home around 8am. The traffic was okay. SiBapa's choice of road trip songs was nice. I had on-off naps mostly because I prefer to look out the car window. Lots of interesting stuff to see out there... Inevitable drama between SiBapa and our driver was probably the worse part of the trip 😂 But that was totally predictable. The situation went calm(er) when we arrived in Bandung. SiBapa told stories about his life in Bandung to Dewi. We all laughed about the fact that Dewi wasn't even born yet when SiBapa and I were already in highschool 😂 I think things got a bit emotional for SiBapa when he saw how Bandung now looks like... Anyways... The first thing we wanted to do in Bandung was EAT!!! 😂 Thankfully I wasn't the only one who was hungry. I was starving! SiBapa took us to Ampera, his favorite restaurant. He told Dewi to try the spicy sambel which made Dewi became all sweaty 🤪 Meanwhile I ate like a pig and could hardly breath afterwards 😂 After lunch we continued to Lembang and finally arrived in... De' Ranch

I remember I was very excited about the horses 🤩 At first SiBapa said that I shouldn't ride on a horse. Can't really remember why... Maybe he was worried I would fall down or... Oh I don't know 😆 Have a seizure while riding on one? But thankfully he said ok. Dewi didn't want to ride a horse because she was afraid. I can't remember why though... She usually says yes to almost everything. So when she politely declined and would rather take pictures of us I was a bit surprised. I enjoyed the horse ride very much. The last time I was on horse was probably in Puncak when I was still...a kid!?! 😄 

Anyways my horse was big and tall. His name is Al Cantera 😎 During the horse ride the mamang and I had a nice conversation about the horses, De Ranch and the visitors. I almost cried as I listened to the mamang's story. He told me that since the pandemic his income becomes very low. The mamang mentioned a specific number of how much money he brings home on weekdays and weekends, before and after the pandemic. I was speechless. I didn't know what to say... In my mind I was like "What??? We have more than that in our coin jug!" Maybe if the mamang didn't tell the story the way he did, I would burst in tears on the spot. On a horse. On Al Cantera's back! "Yaah sekarang mah pulang bawa segini aja udah alhamdulillah neng heheh..." Yes... He chuckled while I tried very hard not to cry 😢 All I could say to him was "Oh... Gitu ya mang..." again and again. After the ride I thanked the mamang and wished him well. With all my heart... 

The next cute thing in De' Ranch were the bunnies in Taman Kelinci. They are surrounded by wired fence and we can play with them. The bunnies were "SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE!"!! And big too! They practically followed us everywhere! Some even stood up on 2 legs 😄 At first My Precious Godsend hesitated. "There's so many poop!" she said with an icky expression 😑 I think I said something like "Sepatunya nanti bisa dicuci! And the poop is not smelly! Come here!" She did. And I think she had fun playing with the bunnies 😊 While I was playing with the bunnies I thought of our furry boy at home 😺 I wondered what if Moochi was here. Would he be like...intimidated by the rabbits? Since they are as big as him 🤭 

After De' Ranch we visited the Floating Market Lembang. I don't know why but I felt like I've been there before... But it was pretty much unlikely. So I thought it was just another annoying déjàvu which I should ignore. My Precious Godsend and Dewi enjoyed the Rainbow Slide very much. You can totally see it on their faces 😄 

Next stop was Taman Rekreasi Air Panas Alam Sari Ater. Lots of people were enjoying the hot water. Some I assumed they were there to have fun while some... I don't know how to say this 😄 But I saw men who were standing and/or sitting topless right under the hot waterfall with... Serious expressions? At the end I assumed they were there to meditate or perhaps for medical reasons. Or maybe they were seriously having fun 🤪 Anyways... While in Sari Ater I was actually already very tired. I mean why wouldn't I be? I woke up at 4:30am, didn't sleep in the car, horseback riding, played with rabbits, bloated stomach, ate like a pig... this and that. So when I had my pictures taken in Sari Ater my expression already looked...weird 😅 Had a couple of minor ones in the car like cold tingling all over my body and a bit of teeth clattering. 

But the trip was worth every drop of sweat in the midst of cool fresh air. Alhamdulillah the 3 of us had another chance to spend time together. Plus Dewi. My Precious Godsend had new experiences. We brought Yuli olé-olé and a pinecone for Moochi to play with 😸 So yeah... It was another fun and blissful day for The Ica Lawendatus.

 Alhamdulillah 🥰 

Kukka's Birthday Surprise ... Not!

Well... It didn't go exactly as planned but still... She was pretty surprised 😄 Today is my Precious Godsend's 14th birthday. Days before I already told The Dynamic Duo, Dewi and Yuli, to come extra early. There were balloons to be hanged and Indomie Goreng as birthday cake to be made. And like always there were always some drama 😂 Like... It turned out I ordered 4 ZEROS instead of a 1 and a 4!!! 🤣 Luckily I had an idea to make a big flower out of the Zeros, added with small colorful balloons in the middle. I also just realized that I forgot to buy the 1 and 4 birthday candles!!! And there were no more birthday candles left in the kitchen drawer. I texted Ari ASAP and told him to buy the candles on the way here. Like always, he texted a couple of dumb questions and sent me a picture of which candle he should buy:

I mean... Really???? 😑😑😑 But I was too busy arranging the balloons to be pissed or even commented about it. I did ask whether there was nicer ones. He said no. Okay. Then Dewi, Yuli and I kept pumping and arranging the balloons. Some popped and made really really loud sound 😂 The 3 of us were shocked and worried that Hubs or/and Kukka would wake up before everything was ready. I think some balloons popped because of the hot temp, some because Dewi pumped them too big. A couple of the balloons also popped when Dewi tried to hang them on the window bar. I was really worried she would fall down from stool bar 😅

Of course lots of laughters were involved while Moochi was looking at us and the balloons with big eyes. He didn't like the balloons at all 😸 While Dewi and Yuli took care of the balloons, I made a short Happy Birthday Playlist on Spotify. The plan was to play the songs when Kukka came out of the bedroom and EVERYTHING WAS READY! Buuuuuut..... Suddenly the bedroom opened aaaaaaand there she was! The Birthday Girl!!! 😂 Dewi, Yuli and I were like "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!" 🤣 

The Birthday Girl's eyes were opened wide and sparkly. She also had that cute and pretty smile on her face. I immediately hugged her and asked "Kok udah banguuuun??? Kan tadi malem udah sengaja dibolehin tidur maleeem!" Yeah... I let her sleep past midnight the previous night. I thought it would make her wake up around 8:30 am which would give us more time to prepare. Still with a wide smile on her face she said "I'm so sorry...." 😄🥰😘 So while The Birthday Girl was still busy looking at the balloons and answering my questions, Dewi was preparing the birthday "cake": 2 Indomie Goreng with candles on top 🥳 Before blowing the candles I turned on the songs I've chose from Spotify such as: some random Happy Birthday Song by Cocomelon, Happy - From Despicable Me 2: Pharell Williams, Selamat Ulang Tahun by Jamrud, Happy Birthday - Dance Mix, and Birthday by Katy Perry 😂 Then it was time to blow out the candles. Bubu, Dewi and Yuli sang Happy Birthday and I must say that our voices were bad 🤣 But I'm pretty sure The Birthday Girl didn't hear us because she was mesmerized by the Indomie Goreng Birthday Cake 🥳

Seconds later The Birthday Girl (and Bubu 😋) were enjoying the überdelicious Indomie Goreng. That was all she wanted. 2 Indomie Goreng for her 14th birthday. No money, no toys, no cellphone, no... Oh I don't know! New clothes and make-up?? 🤪 If it wasn't for me I'm sure she also wouldn't come up to ask her Bapa for Robux. 2 Indomie Goreng. That's it. After she finished her birthday present, Dewi gave Kukka a big bouquet of the snacks she loves: Chitato, Pocky and Sari Gandum. "Ini dari Mba Dewi dan Kevin ya, neng!" said Dewi while handing over the bouquet. Kukka was thrilled 😊 

I was touched by the attention Dewi gave for my baby. This is just like what happened on my birthday. Yuli who was sweeping the floor said "Maaf ya neng Mba Yuli ngga bisa kasih apa-apa...". I patted Yuli on the back and said "Mba Yuli udah ngurusin kebutuhan Kukka setiap hari. Udah lebih dari cukup." My girl hugged Yuli and said "Iyaa! Terima kasih Mba Yuli!" How can I not love this Precious Godsend of mine über alles? 🤗🥰 

And then finally after the whole thing was almost over, her Bapa woke up. We gave Kukka the other birthday present she wanted: Robux.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think last year she asked for the same thing 🙄 Sometimes I just don't get this girl... 

And of course there's another family member who didn't want to be left out from the party and gave Kukka a present too...

Mooooooocccchhhiiiiiiii!!!!!

46th Birthday Getaway

It was super short but it was very nice 🥰 I'm talking about our... Well... Family tradition if you will ☺️ The 3 of us like to celebrate things by spending time away from home. Even if it's just for 1 night and a couple of kilometers away. After a lot of browsing on my part we decided to celebrate my 46th by spending 1 night in Hotel Kempinski 

But let's start from the beginning. And by the beginning I mean June 22nd midnight 😊 Starting from 00:00 am my phone kept getting messages from friends and families. Beautiful prayers, very loving and thoughtful wishes, funny "Happy Birthday" gif, and everything else. Some I replied immediately but mostly I did it in the morning since I really had to go to sleep 😄 But not before I whispered "Alhamdulillah. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You Allah. For everything." Then I finally went to sleep with a smile on my face.

The next morning I woke up late. Mostly because I was still too sleepy from replying all those lovely messages. I was even too sleepy to give Moochi his breakfast! Poor boy 😄 Eventually I did wake up and went out of the bedroom to turn on my Mac. Suddenly Dewi and Yuli, our faithful assistants, came in and sang Happy Birthday 🥳 Dewi had this big bouquet of Indocafe Coffeemix and Yuli carried a plate of donuts with burning candles stuck in them. I was stunned. I cried.

I cried even more thanks to Dewi and Yuli's thoughtful wishes for me. It was genuine and very personal 🥲 While blowing the candles in tears I couldn't stop thinking what a sweet gesture it was. It must have cost them quite a lot of money. But from our assistants' expressions I could see that they were happy because I was very surprised. So I guess The Dynamic Duo knew for sure that it was worth every penny 😊 After lunch and a long goodbye to Moochi it was time for SiBapa, Kukka and me to go to the hotel. 

Our room number was 515. When we opened the door I was immediately surprised by the colorful balloons on the bed. There was also a big Happy Birthday writing on the window and a plate of yummy cake on the table. It was great 😊 And the surprises kept on coming! Like a long plate of delicious sweet treats and a monopoly board! The day went on with daddy - daughter swimming time and me ordering room service #BURP Later that evening my loved ones went out while I was enjoying me-time in the tub. When they came back... 

IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE!!!!! 😆🥰

I was totally surprised by the giant burger they gave me 😆 I spent the rest of the night hugging it. I think Kukka didn't expect me to like their birthday present that much. Because she said "You really do like the burger huh?!" YES! 😆 The next morning after having a big breakfast it was time for us to go home. Too bad that we could only spent 1 night because Hubs has lot of work to do. But better than not at all, right? 😉 I might have skipped lots of things here but one thing is for sure. 

I am very grateful for everything. I'm 46 and I decided to count my blessings rather than some ugly troubles that are not worth my time, my health, and my happiness. Last but not least, I would like to thank you again, my friends and families, for the love and neverending support, and also to Hotel Kempinski for the lovely birthday treats. May God bless you all. Amen 🥰 

Dear Kukka: You and Me

My baby, my beloved. My precious Godsend, my everything. 

It's been too long since my last rambling. If I should start again, why not now? 

And naturally, why shouldn't it be for and about us? 😚 

A lot of things have happened. Good and the worse. The unthinkable. The indespicable. I feel like I'm standing on hollow ground. Yet at the same time I'm floating here and there, not knowing whether I'm gonna land safely or shattered into pieces. I can see the broken glasses, filth and dirt. Every layer hurts so much it practically makes me feel nothing. As if everything just as it is, as it is, as is. Of course nothing is the same. I don't know what to say or how to feel or who to trust anymore but one. For this, I'm giving myself extra credit for still being able to find the unstained side of the dumpster. I can see without doubts that I have a bright side to hold on to. 

You 🥰 

Bebi... You and I are destined to enjoy this incredible ride together. Eversince love "flew" inside me and gave you life... ... Wait. That doesn't sound right but you get what I mean 😆 You and Bubu? We have each other's backs. You're my buffer. I'm your shield. You're my guardian angel. I'm your eternal protector. The fact that you are now a teenager makes it even better! Your sharp and annoying comments, your typical teenager Just-Leave-Me-Alone attitude, your I'm-gonna-shock-Bubu kind of questions aaaaaand our nightly super deep pillow talks... 😉 Every single thing makes our life, especially mine, better than greater. Probably 99% as I pictured it would be if I'm blessed with a daughter. Well I'm beyond blessed!! Although I must say that I'm still not physically and mentally prepared 😂 I mean like those arguments we had? The topics, the words, the physical gestures???? Practically taken out of Hollywood movies!!! 🤣 But like I said: This is why I always wanted and prayed for a daughter. My precious Godsend 🥰 

These past 13-going on 14 years have been one hell of a ride in every way. And Bubu surely is looking forward to many exciting years to come, as long as you're there. Bebi, I'll be right next to you. I love you 😘

Eighteenth

Since we've spent the night making rhyme, 

Continuing it today should be sublime. 

18 years of ups with downs is no crime, 

Consider it like sparkling water with lil bit of lime. 

Fresh and chilled and served in our prime, 

Now let's add more US rather than I'M. 

More patience and love, let's fill our home with joyful chime. 

May the adventure last forever, exciting for a lifetime.

 

HAPPY 18th ANNIVERSARY, YOU 😘

What is success?

A couple days ago I had a long talk with an old friend. We talked about our lives, before - now and then. About dreams, goals, achievements and...other stuff. Eventually the conversation lead to the magic word: success. What does it take so people will see you as a successful person? 

Does it involve a big well-paid job? Becoming an accomplished businessman/woman? Company owner? Celebrity? Charity worker? Start-ups owner? Instagram influencer or Youtuber with millions subscribers? Or looking at the current "trend": becoming a highly religious person? I bet most of you will say yes. Those are considered the successful ones. The ones who have "meaningful" lives. What about you? You agree?

Meanwhile way behind lots of closed doors in parts of the world, there are housewives who lay their heads low and bust their sweet asses off to take care of their hubsands, children, households and everything that comes with it. From the eyes of the "successful" ones, it doesn't seem much. Or even nothing! It's nothing to be proud of. What they have in their minds might be "What so special about being a housewife??? What's so difficult about it anyway! Especially if she has a maid! All she has to do is giving orders. Every woman can do it! I can do it!"

Can you? Really?

Can you deal with the pressure that if something is going wrong at home, then it's your fault? Unpaid bills, wrong choice of soap, untrimmed grass, out of stock cooking ingredients? Can you deal with the mean whispers that if your child grows up not as the big family expected she/he would be, then it's your mistake? Poor grades, lack of socializing, bad manners? The list still goes on and I haven't even mention anything about patience, strength, fortitude, acceptance, forgiveness, content, confidence? And don't forget in our circle something crucial belongs to the list: religious.

Oh come on! Lots of career women can and already achieved what you've put on those list, Farika! Oh really? I say: bullshit. Flaunt all those colorful accomplishments you said you've got. I don't buy it. Whether you like it or not, life is about making choices and nobody gets it all. Obviously there's nothing wrong by being a working mother. It's about knowing what you want in life. 

I've always knew I wanted to be a mother, specifically to a daughter. Those who are close to me probably still remember what I had to go through to become one, physically and mentally. Some even labeled me as a very tenacious person and a survivor. Well... I'd like to say I'm lucky. So when I've been finally blessed with what I've always wanted: why on earth I would "waste her away"???????

This month my beloved Godsend will turn 13. Time goes by so fast. Too fast! Kukka is already in junior high and "suddenly" she will move out from our house and has a life of her own. I would love to spend time with her as much as I can before that time comes. I would love to put her to bed and still have our girl talk. I'd die to be the one who she would trust to tell that she's in love for the first time or telling me what she wants to do with her life. I hope I will be the one who hug her when she's heartbroken. I would pray that God would give me more time so I can always be there for her. And when I do, that is what I would call a success. If Kukka does see me as her biggest part of her life, that would be my achievement, my success, my evidence that I have a meaningful life. 

But that's just me. What about you?

Just Another Manic Sunday

It's just another Sunday. I'm at home with my daughter & our kitty, doing our own things, & we are all healthy. What more can I ask for? 

Loud noises are starting to come from everywhere. Kids laughing & screaming. Cars & motorcycles. Right now I can hear the ambulance siren blaring loudly from outside the cluster. I hope it's nothing serious... Birds are chirping right outside the windows. Sometimes I wonder whether they are the same birds with the ones who always sing in the morning. I can hear Moochi snoring. He's taking a nap on the dining chair next to mine. That's his current favorite spot. In short, nothing is unusual. Someone once asked me if I ever get bored because it seems that what I do every day is always the same. My answer was: no. Because it true. Nothing is the same, really. 

Since this whole COVID-19 School-At-Home thing I'm at home 24/7 with our 12yo daughter. Sometimes I wish she'd go out with her dad more. But oh well... I think it should be them who solve it out. Not me 😋 I just hope SiBapa won't be too sad or disappointed or too late to realize that his daughter keeps on growing. Then just like that #FINGERSNAP The time when Kukka chooses friends over her parents will come #bigsigh Even now the things she does-says-asks-wonders-and others are already different. AND CHALLENGING! In shāʾ Allāh in 2 months Kukka will turn 13. An official TEENAGER. Oh god... I know this might sound cliché & boring but it's true. My baby girl doesn't have the mind of a typical (almost) teenager. The comments she gives. The questions she asks. The actions she makes. Lately I have this weird feeling that my daughter will be the one who teaches me about life. Not the other way around. Many times I even think that our daughter might be psychic 😂 Well... That's another blogpost to tell. 

Every weekdays I have 2 maids who work in our house from morning until late noon. They have totally different personalities but they get along quite well. Dewi & Yuli like to tell me stories about their lives, here in Jakarta & in their villages. What kind of traditional food they cooked with their mothers & grandmothers, what games they played when they were kids, what kind of troubles they've done. Sometimes, after a lot of "Maaf, Bu..." it is them who ask me questions. The range of questions can be from what is it about that I'm watching on CNN to what is the english word for- 😁 Yes. Dewi & Yuli are learning how to talk in english & it involves a lot of laughters. It was SiBapa's idea & both of them are enjoying it. Of course there are times when the maids are frustrated about it but I think they are grateful too. And then there are times who is ME who's wondering what on earth the maids are talking about. They talk in javanese & most of the times it includes lots of loud laughters. Dewi said one of the reasons why she gets along with Yuli is because they come from the same part of Java & both are the same age. So what they experience, from childhood to marriage life are pretty much the same. So you see? The maids are another reason why my day-to-day life is always different 😋

Taking my daily walk around the block is another story. To you it might sound boring but to me 30 minutes walk feels like a month of adventure. Because of my health walking around 3 houses can be tough & challenging 😅 But also fun! Our cluster is pretty big to walk around & there's lot of things to see. There's a basketball court where the boys shout, fight & play, usually with no sandals. Even now I'm still wondering how they do it. I mean doesn't it hurt their bare feet??? Then there are 2 playgrounds. Usually full of smaller kids with their mba/nannies who feed them milk & snacks, sometimes even very early dinner. Awkward part of my daily walk is when I meet the same person over & over again. Which means we (have to?) smile at each other or at least nod our head again & again 😝 There is though, 1 woman who always takes her daily walk at the same time & never says or even smiles at me whenever we cross each other. I think she takes her walk very seriously 😉 Me? I just enjoy it. Eventhough I walk quite fast I do take the time to "observe" other people's houses. You can tell a lot about a family from how the house look. And of course the kids. You can tell quite a few things about a family from how the kid behaves.

Healthwise is still a very big adventure. Not only for me but sadly also for the people around me. Especially my pretty girl, who I've mentioned above, spends every minute of her day with me. Although now Kukka can take very good care of her Bubu but still... I can see the worry in her eyes whenever I have the lightest seizure. 15 minutes ago I had to stop typing because I could feel a light seizure was...on the way. Which means second seizure of the day, 4th this week. I didn't want to make my baby worried but I also didn't want to get another chipped tooth or a bruised eye. So I laid down on our new super comfy sofa & just breath. Later I realized it was time for the pills... AND next month I have to see The Rocksy! Okay! That one will require a special blogpost 😆

So you see? I'm having 24/7 adventure every single day. Don't you agree? 😉

Skipping School In Bali

Forgive me Blogpost for I have disappeared for quite some time. It's just my head & my fingers don't get along very well lately. And don't start with the memory problem #BIGSIGH There's actually so much going on that is worth to write but... Ow well! Let's just give it a shot with this post. About our last trip to Bali 😊

Yup! We went to Bali. Again. In the middle of the pandemic. I wasn't really surprised because it's just how he is. Yep. I'm talking about my husband, Hubster. SiBapa. With his sudden "Let's!". One day he just said "Let's go to Bali!". Nevermind that his daughter actually had school 😅 So there I was, looking for airplane tickets, official letter from The Rocksy for bringing the pills because God forbid I got arrested because of it 😂 Then of course AirBnB, car rental & places to go after it was sure that the 4 of us, Hubs, Kukka, me & Dewi were healthy - COVID-19 free. Dewi came along because Hubs planned to stay longer in Bali to be with his friends. So Dewi took care of Kukka & I. She came along also to make sure that all of us would be back home safe & sound. Of couse Dewi was very excited about it when I told her about the Bali trip. I asked whether she would mind to come with us during fasting month. Oh yeah? Did I already mention that this is actually fasting month? As predicted Dewi's answer was "No!" 😆

The 4 of us arrived in Bali on April 14th. We went straight to the villa I've found in AirBnB. It wasn't as I thought it would be. Jade Lotus Villa Seminyak was bigger than it appeared on the pictures. It's very big, clean, & nicely decorated. There are 3 big bedrooms with bathrooms which have bathtubs & showers on the open roof side. I couldn't help but wondering whenever I took a shower what if somebody jumped over the wall or as simple as took a peek 😅 There's also a nice swimming pool, an open living room & a kitchen. Kukka shared the room with Dewi. The "minus" part was maybe where the villa is located. We had to go through a small alley first to get there. But it wasn't a big deal. In short, check it out in AirBnB if you're interested. I recommend it. 😉 

Anyways not long after we took a breath in the villa, there came the magic words "Kalo mau tidur sih di rumah aja." Something like that 😁 Weeelll okaaaay SiBapa was right... We went straight to Nasi Tempong Indra for late lunch. Hubs talked about this place since the last time he was in Bali. He raved on & on about its sambel/chili sauce which is in fact very delicious & VERY SPICY. I warn you, if you're not into spicy food, maybe you should try something else or dip in the chili sauce juuuuuust a little bit 😅 I didn't even take pictures of the restaurant because 1. I was too busy eating. 2. I was too full. 3. My mouth was on fire! Next: Double Six. It was a beautiful afternoon. The picture below speaks for itself. Dewi went AWOL almost straight away, after she politely asked me to take pictures of her. Lots of pictures 😁 While Hubs & Kukka had fun in the water, I spent my time just chillin' there, sipping cold drink, listening to 2 guys on stage playing guitar & singing. I think we went back to the villa after my beloved duo had their blast. It was like they had the whole beach for themselves.  

 

Then it was time for me to rest while daddy & daughter went to have a night out with Hubs' friends. Spending time with adults has never been a problem for Kukka so yeah... She videocalled me around 9pm while I was already snuggling in bed. She told me that they're in this cafe & listening to live music. 

My baby said "They're playing indonesian songs but it's actually good. I like it." 😆 I can't remember what time they came back to the villa. I guess it was already pretty late & I assumed they didn't eat or have any snack at this place called Pison. Because daddy-daughter were very hungry & asked Dewi to cook Indomie Goreng. I ended up having very late dinner too 😂 

The next day, April 15th, we had a late breakfast at Revolver Espresso. The food was delicious & the place is nice. Dewi didn't waste much time to ask me to take pictures of her behind the bar, acting as a bartender 😂 After our tummies were full we headed off to Nusa Dua. The scenery was heartbreaking... It was practically a ghost town. I think I saw only 1 or 2 tourists? I guess COVID-19 hit Nusa Dua pretty hard... After doing some shopping we drove through some kind of a forest & ended up in Pantai Melasti. It was beautiful. No filter needed!

If I remember it correctly, I think there were more people at Melasti Beach & it was pretty hot too. Like always, I spent my time away from the water, observing people & taking pictures. We ended the day by having dinner in Pison. Check out its' instagram Pisoncoffee!

April 16th: this time I promised myself to bring back something for my beloved dr. Rocksy 😄 So when we went to Krisna I made sure I bought something for her. I was lucky to have Dewi with me because to tell you the truth this oleh-oleh thing is not...me. Mostly I bring back something from a trip because a certain person ASK me for it. Example: my BFF wanted this dodol rumput laut thingy & I got it for her. Also being inside the big store made me quite dizzy. I was surprised to see the crowd in there since outside, in the city or the beach, it was like a forgotten city, an abandoned island. I wonder if the tourists came to Bali only to shop instead of spending time at the beach. Then we had lunch in Warung Bendega. The duck was yummy! After everyone's tummies were full Kukka, Dewi & I had to take another swab test. It was a drive-through thing. All we had to do is sit in the car, open the window & "give" our noses to have them swabed. The results came back after a couple of minutes. Alhamdulillah all negative. Btw did I mention that the weather was god damn hot??? So when we were back at villa I immediately turned on the AC & just enjoyed being there inside the villa. After a tiring day dealing with oleh-oleh, coming back to a nice & clean villa felt just right 😁 My loved ones one the other hand jumped right into the pool. I guess the pool water must felt way better than just lying on the bed with clean sheets inside a cold bedroom 😅 The rest of the day I've spent packing the suitcases & made sure that I got everything. Oleh-oleh, dirty laundries, getting rid of sands from the sandals, what to put in Hubs' suitcase & others. I also had to make sure that I'd be in good condition for the flight back home. So I think I went to sleep right after everything was packed.

April 17th. Our last day in Bali. I was excited to go home & to see our favorite boy. Oh yeah! Did I mention I texted Yuli & Ari like A LOT to ask how Moochi was doing & to make sure that Ari didn't forget to give him food? Yuli also said that Moochi looked confused & meowed in front of my bedroom all the time. I think he was looking for you, Yuli said 😊 Meanwhile SiBapa seemed excited to stay longer with his friends. I think if he had a month of free time, he'd be spending it in Bali. Nevermind the fact that his wife & daughter were alone at home 😅 Long story short Kukka, Dewi & I arrived at home around 3pm safe & sound. It's true. There's no place like home. At least for me. 😉 

Yet like always, a trip to Bali never fails. All of us had a great time & I have my beloved Hubster to thank for it. Oh! And you know what??? No seizures at all!!! Eventhough the whole thing was tiring I didn't even have like what? Phantosmia? Trembling? Nope. Nothing! The saddest part about this trip was probably to see so many places like stores, hotels, restaurants & many others closed down because of the pandemic. Including my favorite italian restaurant 😢 When we were at the beach I asked a bartender what time they usually open up the bar. He said since the pandemic began there's no more morning session because "Sepiiii..." 😢 I hope everything will go back to normal for everyone's sake... Amen.

Then Bintaro, April 18th 2pm, 2:10 minutes: light seizure!!! Ooooowkaaaay... Does it mean we have to go back to Bali??? 😂😂😂

*Note: I wrote this post based on memory & pictures. Sadly it's very possible that I left something out, sequence of moments fucked up & others. But so what? Right?!

 

By Elly Risman: SUATU SAAT KITA AKAN MENINGGALKAN MEREKA. JANGAN MAINKAN SEMUA PERAN

Kita tidak pernah tahu, anak kita akan terlempar ke bagian bumi yang mana nanti, maka izinkanlah dia belajar menyelesaikan masalahnya sendiri. Jangan memainkan semua peran.

Ya jadi ibu.

Ya jadi koki.

Ya jadi tukang cuci.

Ya jadi ayah.

Ya jadi supir.

Ya jadi tukang ledeng.

Anda bukan anggota tim SAR! Anak anda tidak dalam keadaan bahaya. Tidak ada sinyal S.O.S! Jangan selalu memaksa untuk membantu dan memperbaiki semuanya.

#Anak mengeluh karena mainan puzzle-nya tidak bisa nyambung menjadi satu, "Sini...Ayah bantu!".

#Tutup botol minum sedikit susah dibuka, "Sini...Mama saja".

#Tali sepatu sulit diikat, "Sini...Ayah ikatkan".

#Kecipratan sedikit minyak, "Sudah sini, Mama aja yang masak".

Kapan anaknya bisa?

Kalau bala bantuan muncul tanpa adanya bencana, apa yang terjadi ketika bencana benar2 datang? Berikan anak2 kesempatan untuk menemukan solusi mereka sendiri.

Kemampuan menangani stress, menyelesaikan masalah, dan mencari solusi, merupakan keterampilan/skill yang wajib dimiliki. Dan skill ini harus dilatih untuk bisa terampil. Skill ini tidak akan muncul begitu saja hanya dengan simsalabim! Kemampuan menyelesaikan masalah dan bertahan dalam kesulitan tanpa menyerah bisa berdampak sampai puluhan tahun ke depan.

Bukan saja bisa membuat seseorang lulus sekolah tinggi, tapi juga lulus melewati ujian badai pernikahan dan kehidupannya kelak. Tampaknya sepele sekarang... Secara apalah salahnya kita bantu anak? Tapi jika Anda segera bergegas menyelamatkannya dari segala kesulitan, dia akan menjadi ringkih dan mudah layu.

Sakit sedikit, mengeluh. Berantem sedikit, minta cerai. Masalah sedikit, jadi gila. Jika Anda menghabiskan banyak waktu, perhatian, dan uang untuk IQ nya, maka habiskan pula hal yang sama untuk AQ nya.

AQ? Apa itu?

ADVERSITY QUOTIENT

Menurut Paul G. Stoltz, AQ adalah kecerdasan menghadapi kesulitan atau hambatan dan kemampuan bertahan dalam berbagai kesulitan hidup dan tantangan yang dialami.

Bukankah kecerdasan ini lebih penting daripada IQ, untuk menghadapi masalah sehari-hari? Perasaan mampu melewati ujian itu luar biasa nikmatnya. Bisa menyelesaikan masalah, mulai dari hal yang sederhana sampai yang sulit, membuat diri semakin percaya bahwa meminta tolong hanya dilakukan ketika kita benar2 tidak sanggup lagi.

So, izinkanlah anak Anda melewati kesulitan hidup...

Tidak masalah anak mengalami sedikit luka, sedikit menangis, sedikit kecewa, sedikit telat, dan sedikit kehujanan. Tahan lidah, tangan dan hati dari memberikan bantuan. Ajari mereka menangani frustrasi. Kalau anda selalu jadi ibu peri atau guardian angel, apa yang terjadi jika anda tidak bernafas lagi esok hari?

Bisa2 anak Anda ikut mati.

Sulit memang untuk tidak mengintervensi ketika melihat anak sendiri susah, sakit dan sedih. Apalagi menjadi orangtua, insting pertama adalah melindungi. Jadi melatih AQ ini adalah ujian kita sendiri juga sebagai orangtua.

Tapi sadarilah, hidup tidaklah mudah. Masalah akan selalu ada. Dan mereka harus bisa bertahan. Melewati hujan, badai, dan kesulitan, yang kadang tidak bisa dihindari.

_Selamat berjuang untuk mencetak pribadi yg kokoh dan mandiri_

I copy-pasted this article and I say: AMEN TO THIS!!!

Parenthood

Probably one of the most complicated things in life. As a mother. As a father. You can't be too hard on your child nor too easy. If you want a perfect child you have to do it just right. Which is obviously impossible. Especially when you're raising your child together with your spouse #Duh Well you know what I mean, right?! Both of you are involved, commited? When it comes to parenting, there will be tons of stuff both of you would disagree with each other. Especially if one of the parents still sees/considers the child as a baby 😅

You think letting your child go biking on a rainy day is bad. Your spouse think it will make her body stronger. The father teaches the child to be polite. The mother tells to just brush other people off. And the list goes on. What most of us as parents often forget is that a child also learns from what she sees and listens. As simple as that. You want your child to be polite. Yet never once you say "Excuse me" or "I'm sorry.". You want your child to be honest. Yet you lie on daily basis. You want your child to be nice. Yet you raise your voice and blame others. You want your child to love you. But first, when was the last time you say "I love you" and mean it?

From the matters you are thinking to the actions you are making to the words you are saying. Your children listen and store everything deep inside their brains. Later on there are possibilities: 1. They will become exactly like you. 2. They will and want to become much better person than you. 3. They will become the person you despise or worse. Maybe there's more. Just leave your comment below. And later on your child will either love you or hate you for it. Some might even need lifetime therapy. 

I personally consider myself to be a very lucky person. I've been raised in a very loving family. I'm sure I've talked about my Mom and Dad, my big sister and big brother like A LOT! 😝 Why? Well... It's because I respect and love them and I love saying and showing it again and again and again. There are some...complications on my side of life story. But the amount of love I've received these past 44 years from my loved ones has been overwhelming, some might be unnecessary or even annoying. I'm sure that's how Kukka feels about her Bubu nowadays 😋 The best part now that she's almost a teenager is how Kukka and I can open up about lots of things. Some even adult stuff 😉 SiBapa also plays his role as a father. Whenever this cute father-daughter couple spend time together they leave SiBubu alone at home.

Anyway... My Precious Godsend and me? We pour our hearts out, share our secrets, what-ifs, fears and regrets. I share my feelings to my girl so we can understand each other better. I advice my daughter not to make the same mistakes I've made. I show my girl how to be strong and patient in the middle of a storm. In short, I try my best to be a good person, for me and her. Because, hopefully, there's a long life ahead of us which we will go through together. As mother and daughter.

And so the parenthood adventure continues. 

The New Normal

Normal. 

What does it mean exactly? I guess everybody has his/her own opinion about what is normal. It's a subjective matter after all. Especially since this horrible pandemic began. According to Wikipedia: A new normal is a state to which an economy, society, etc. settles following a crisis, when this differs from the situation that prevailed prior to the start of the crisis. The term has been used following the financial crisis of 2007-2008, the aftermath of the 2008–2012 global recession, and the COVID-19 pandemic.

Yeah... It's the Corona virus guys... Real. Hoax. Self-quarantine. Mingling in a crowd. Mask. No mask. I heard that there's even some big conspiracy theories about the COVID-19. Whatever I don't know... #bigsigh What I do know for sure is that I don't want to gamble with life. Especially the lives of my loved ones. My families and my Precious Godsend in particular.

Avoiding crowds might be a little bit tricky for some. Especially for those who eventually have to start working outside their homes. But it sure is stressing me out, this -fromhome thing. I miss doing unimportant things outside the house. I miss my friends. I miss picking Kukka up from school. I miss our pizza time before her Skaci class. I miss going to the movies. I miss my pilates session. I miss just sitting around and enjoying a cup of coffee in a small coffeeshop. I miss my me-time outside the house. I miss having lunch with my BFF. I miss a lot of things! Unfortunately as a person who suffer from an autoimmune disease, which makes me even more vulnerable to catch COVID-19, I have to be extra patient and super extra careful. The risk is too high. Not only for me but also for everybody around me. Then again, stress is very bad for my health :)) 

So for my well-being I still go out even if it's as simple as driving around Bintaro. Or just relaxing on the patio, enjoying the weather with my girl, SiMoochi and SiBapa. I let all doors in our house wide open to get some fresh air. SiBapa's team also still come to our house and work and do whatever it is that they do up there :)) In some weird ways I do enjoy having SiBapa's team working here :) What I'm trying to say is that we are not being paranoid to be with other people. Once or twice we also go out to meet our parents. Making other people happy can also make you and others healthy you know :)

So yeah... Again. If it's as easy as wearing a mask which can save lives and at the same time can let you live a new normal life, then what's the hold up? Uncomfortable? Yes. Ruining the look? Probably. But so what?!? There's too many "what ifs" involved. Too many questions, doubts and uncertainties. Too much is at stake if you're not wearing a mask. 

What if that one time I didn't wear my mask it caused a family member sick and pass away? What if that one time I forgot to wash my hands it made some stuff I've touched "infected" by this god forsaken virus? What if that one time I chose to ignore all the necessary precautions it made this virus transmission easier? What if that one time YOU chose to be ignorant?

At the end I guess it's all about choice. If you choose to be reasonable, you follow the extra precautions. Wear a mask and have a new normal life. They might spare you and your loved ones a couple more years to live life as healthy beings. If you choose to be as dumb and ignorant as Donald Trump, who said "It is what it is.", better think it through how your stupidity at the end of the day could effect not only you, but also your loved ones. Salute ;)

*I'm wearing this super cool mask by Wickana Laksmi Dewi. Visit Masker Untuk Indonesia and get one ;) 

100 Hari

Seratus hari telah berlalu. 

Namun rasa sedih itu masih saja ada. 

Di kala sendiri atau dalam kebersamaan, 

kehadiranmu, Opa, masih saja selalu terasa.

Kisah tentang kehebatanmu di masa muda, 

dan kearifanmu sampai di ujung usia, 

tetap menjadi bagian di saat kami bertukar cerita.

Kenapa, mungkin Opa bertanya di sudut alam sana. 

Karena kami sangat kehilanganmu, merindukanmu, sangat menyayangimu,

Selalu.

Selamanya.

Amin.

"Gimana, 'Ka?"

I can still hear your gentle voice...

I don't want to say or ask why. 

Because it's not my right and place to say.

I have no doubt that ALLAH SWT, 

already has prepared a better place for you up there. 

All I can do now for you is pray and wish. 

That you are now in a better place. 

The place where you certainly deserve to be. 

As a kind and understanding person.

Who had so much love to give and lots of fun to share.

Thank you ALLAH, for the time you gave me to be with Bapa.

Just the two of us.

For giving me the chance to pour my heart out to him. 

And for giving us the priceless time to listen and to comfort each other.

I will cherish that precious moment for the rest of my life.

Dearest Bapa,

May you now rest in peace that you've longed for and deserved.

And I will surely miss our funny, sweet yet serious deeptalks.

I love you.