About Dreams

dream

/drēm/

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noun

1. 1. 

   a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep.

   "I had a recurrent dream about falling from great heights"

   Similar:

   fantasy

   nightmare

   vision

   hallucination

   • 2. 

     a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal.

     "I fulfilled a childhood dream when I became champion"

     Similar:

     ambition

     aspiration

     hope

     goal

     design

     plan

     aim

     object

As much as I like to fantasize about stuff I don't dream very often when I sleep. When I do I usually forget about it minutes after I wake up. Aaaand I don't think much about it. But lately it's different. These couple of weeks I'm 90% sure that I dream every single night. It was not a big deal. Not until most of those dreams woke me up in fear, heavily panting, screaming & even drenched in sweat & tears. Yes. Those things happened. Sadly I don't remember what went on in most of those dreams. But in some I do... 

I think it all started when I had dreams about Bapa, my heavily missed father-in-law. I forgot how many times I dreamed about him... But surely it was more than 3-4 times. I remember the dreams were nice, sweet, gentle. Just like he was... One time in my dream Bapa asked me how I was doing. He came to me & we sat together on the swing (which also happened in real life). Bapa asked me why I always look so sad & as the dream faded away, so did he... He held my shoulder as I kissed his hand & said "Jangan sedih terus ya Ka..." Then poof! Bapa was gone. I woke up in tears because I still had a lot to tell him... 😢

After that I think my dreams got weirder... And more often. One time I dreamed about running in the middle of a heavy rain because I missed/couldn't find the car! 😄 I woke up hugging myself & shivering because my clothes were wet. In real life maybe the AC were too cold! 😆 There's also this one time when I had a nightmare like a really scary one. Like...demon & such. I was terrified & I woke up panting hard. I was practically out of breath. Why? Well because in my dream I was trying to escape from that god damn monster! 😄 Do you think this happened because I watched too many scary movies? 😂 

But the scariest dream I had I must say is that particular one where I lost all my teeth. One by one... Each started crumbling into small pieces. At first I noticed one tooth started to wiggle so I pulled it out. But then one tooth fell out on to the floor! I picked it up with trembling hand. Then from the back of my mouth every single one of my tooth started to crumble! Shattered into tiny pieces! I opened my mouth & the pieces of my teeth fell on to my hands. I screamed. I was terrified! I tried to find help but nobody was there. I kept my mouth closed so the pieces won't fall out to the ground. But there were too many! And tiny! I couldn't close my mouth any longer. So I opened it... Then the shattered teeth were all over the floor & seconds later I was practically drowned in them! I screamed. Then I woke up, finding myself screaming in real life. Some dream huh?! 😅

Before I had this terrifying dream I never look up or even try to make sense of any of the dreams I had in my life. I mean it's just a dream! Well except the ones about Bapa... From the very first dream I had about him I knew it was because I missed Bapa very much. And that I am still sad about his passing. As a matter of fact I'm typing this in tears like RIGHT NOW 😅 Yeah... But the shattered teeth & others???

So I started to google about the meaning of dreams. DON'T LAUGH! 😄 You know what?!? It turns out that dreaming about loosing teeth, drenched in rain & others are actually quite common! If you search about it, you'll find the meaning of those dreams. Do I believe it? Well... I can't say that I do. But it sure is fun & quite interesting to read 😊 I guess as long as it doesn't do you any harm then why not? Keep googling! 😝 

I'm actually more interested & curious in why I dream in the first place. Also why the dreams were THAT "powerful" they made me actually do or say things for real while I was sleeping. Sometimes I wonder what would happened if I laugh or cry or scream etc when my loved ones were sleeping next to me 😆 Hubs probably won't comment about it. But my super curious teenager girl? That'll be another story to tell 😆

Ohne Spaß...

Fühle mich wie eine 16jährige und fein

Nichts ist wichtiger als die einzige zu sein 

Tag und Nacht denke ich an Dich

Denn jetzt fühlt es sich wirklich möglich

Mein Leben in Ordnung zu bringen 
Und meine Lippen lächeln zu machen

Ist es falsch so zu fühlen

Wenn niemand anders sich bemühen

Meine Tage zu verändern

Mein gebrochenes Herz zu heilen 

Nur an Dich kann ich bedanken
Und für immer werde ich auf Dich warten

Wenn es jemals möglich ist

Daß Du eines Tages mit mir hier bist

Knock, Knock

There are only a few houses that I love and never get tired of visiting. My parents’ and my siblings’. Those are the places where I feel genuinely welcomed, loved, happy and somewhat peaceful. 

And then there’s one particular door that I would love to knock on. I never been there but already makes me miss it so much it hurts. 

It’s a place where I’ve been longing to visit since years.  

A house which I can only see in my dreams. 

Its beauty I can only admire through images.

Its magic I can only feel in my racing heart. 

And its owner I love beyond human words. 

I’ve been waiting patiently for the invitation. Patiently. Because I’m aware that impatience, anger and greed will surely get me nowhere. 

Especially to Your house, my Allah SWT. 

Doomsday

It was a nice evening. Something or someone called me to go outside. Out from the house, whose I wasn’t very sure. There was a big meadow in front of it. But I could still see the neighbors’ houses. The neighbors started to come out from their houses too and we all gathered in the big meadow. Everybody was looking up to the sky.

The sky. 

It was the most beautiful night sky I’ve ever seen. It was pitch black yet clear and full of sparkling stars. I never saw that many stars before in my life. We were admiring the stars when we finally realized the gigantic, beaming, pale ball on the right side of the sky. It was so enormous as if you could’ve touched it. It took us seconds to finally realize that the pale ball was actually the moon. 

The moon. 

It was so close to the earth I could see the smallest holes on its ground. I was mesmerized. We were all are. It was incredible. Its beaming light drawn us to get closer and closer. The neighbors and I started to walk towards the moon. Some, I remembered, were even reaching out their hands. Trying to touch it excitedly. I was right there behind them, also wanted to get myself nearer to the moon. I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. But then I realized. The moon was really THAT close to us. So close that we could ACTUALLY touch it. I was immediately alarmed yet not fast enough to react. The next thing I could remember was the bump. 

The bump. 

It was the strongest bump I’ve ever encountered. Seconds later my neighbors were starting to scream. The most terrifying scream I’ve ever heard. They were like a crazy hoard of mad cows. Running here and there, trying to save their lives. Me? 

I just stood there. Staring at the moon as it continued to crash into earth. I fell. I stumbled. And as I was tossed to the air I finally got it. This was it. It was the end of the world. We were all going to die. Vanished. Forever. And as I finally grasped the concept of the end of days, all I could think of was the fact that my daughter was experiencing the same terrifying things on that very moment too. And she was alone. I wasn’t by her side when Doomsday arrived. 

Then I remembered I began to cry. I was devastated that I couldn’t keep my promise to her. That I would never, ever leave her alone in fear. Yet now, when the world began to crumble, she was all alone. And so was my husband. 

I cried and I cried and I cried. And I believed before the end of days came to an end, I was already dead by then. I died because of a broken heart. So shattered because I broke my promise to my baby and that I couldn't be with the loves of my life until the very end. 

... 

Tears. Racing heartbeats. I opened my eyes and there they were. Still sleeping peacefully on the left and right side of me. My husband and my daughter. Very much alive. As so was I. And then came the morning sun rays through the windows.

Alhamdulillah... One more day to be with them and to shower them with my love.