Monday, August 15, 2011

Never Say Never. Not Until.

My baby would never cry if she’s left alone in the crib. She would lay down nicely & coo happily by herself. My baby would sit tight in the carseat. No one is allowed to hold her on the lap because it’s dangerous. She would not be allowed to sit on the front seat either. Not until she’s 12. And she would always wear the seatbelt. Always.

And when she’s bigger, my child would never scream in public places. My child would sit down nicely during eating the entire time. She would never walk around, jump, run or God forbid, doing headstand. She would never jump up & down on a restaurant chair & take a peek at the chair behind her. She would not be a bully or be bullied. Always sweet & super friendly. She would never hesitate to shake her hand with every person she’s introduced with, with a firm grip & a pretty smile. My child would never cry on her first days of school. She would march down the school aisle with courage & confidence. My child would never do this. Never do that. She would never do bad things like the other kids are doing. Why? Because I would teach & raise her so.


There’s a reason why people with child(ren) always say to people who don’t have any “You can’t understand. Wait until you have your own.” I used to throw nasty comments about children who couldn’t behave in public. I would frown to parents who continuously feed their child while the child is running around. I would snap at a child who pushes another, with or without reason. I would be judgmental to parents who allow their child to seat alone in the front seat, without seatbelt on. I would be disgusted to see a child picking food or candy or anything for that matter, which is lying on the floor & puts it in his mouth. And the list would go on.

Over the past 3 years, there’s one crucial thing I’ve learned in raising a child. Never say never. Why? Because every child is different & you can’t always anticipate EVERY situation in raising a child. You might have 1001 of hopes & dreams to have the perfect & ideal child. You might have billions do’s & dont’s stored in your head. You miight think “My parents raised me this-that way. And I turned out to be “perfect”. So it’s doable. I will raise my child the same way if not better.”


Sure, there’s will be 1 or 2 things from your list that’ll work on your kid. He will behave just like you want him to be. But you’ll also see that not everything will go according to the plan. Not necesarily worse, just...different. That child you’re snapping at the mall, the one who’s screaming on top of his lungs for no reason? That could be your child. And that kid who throws tantrum in the middle of the supermarket, yeah... That could be your child too. And at that moment, you’ll see that there’s nothing you can do about it. Except TRYING to calm your kid down. Whether it’ll work or not, that’s just another issue. Sure, those "kind of" children are annoying. But until you have your own child, try to keep it to yourself & be less judgmental. Why? Because you can't understand. Not until.

There. It's finally said & written down. Now that you have your own 3yo girl, do you finally get it, Farika?