Sunday, January 01, 2017

Bring it on, 2017!

As I’m writing this post, it’s already 00:32 in January 1st 2017. I’ve just realized that I didn’t write anything in December 2016. My last posting was November 24th. That’s not good. Not for me. It’s like I’m losing the only thing that I love to do, which is writing/blogging. I’m not sure why. It’s not like that nothing interesting is happening. But if you ask me now “What-Where-Why-Who-How”... Mmm... I can’t answer it. I have to cheat first by checking out my twitter, instagram and path accounts. #LOL. But what I do remember is that...

My health is getting steadier if not better. Partly because my awesome doctor has figured it out why and when I would get seizures. So yes, my seizure is now “controllable”. And also my appetite. The new pills don’t make me want to eat like every second. All I have to do is taking my pills on time, get enough rest and no stress. Yes. The last part sounds awfully cliché. But it’s true. Because as far as I can remember, the second I worry or overthink about something, my body starts to shiver, my hands shaking and that annoying nausea starts to attack my tummy. And don’t get me started with that awful and strange headache. It’s not just about the pain. It’s that disturbing...feeling of being there and nowhere. You can’t make up your mind what to think, where to be or what to say. You know those swirly scenes in the movies when a person falls into a limbo? When a person just kind of floats around in the middle of nowhere, along with lots of stuff like chairs, tables, books, cats, glasses etc? Yup. That’s how it feels like. No matter how hard you want it to stop, no matter how much you want to...”land”, you can’t. That’s how it feels like. But yes. Now I can control it much better than before.

Besides getting much needed rest, I also try not to give a lot of shit about things that are...shitty anymore :)) I’m trying. But like I said many times before. This illness of mine is some kind of a hidden blessing. Why? Because there are a lot of shitty, sad and awful things that I don’t/can’t remember!!! So yes. It’s not that I don’t want to think about it. It’s because I CAN’T!!! #LMAO Now if that is not a blessing, I don’t know what that is. Hmmm... What else? Oh yeah! I just remember that on January 2016 I did blog about making resolutions! Okay let me check them out. Oh and please do notice that striking one resolution out doesn’t mean that I did it and then stop doing it. It could mean that I already did it and I have to keep doing it and be even better. So let’s see:


Make it happen.
Write every day!!!

Be brave. Speak up.
Judge less, help more.
Spend time with Kukka.
Shit happens. So what!??!
Accept my flaws. And others.
Listen to my body, soul and heart.

Meet my friends in real life more often.
Make lots of phone calls. Use less chat apps.
Embrace my old self. Yes. The fun part that is.
Do whatever makes me happy. Yup! WHATEVER.
Do crazy things sometimes, or often, IS necessary.
If shit happens, sit back and relax. Let life do its magic.
Make new friends, stay in contact with old ones and maintain.
Haters can kiss my ass. Lovers do come, let’s smooch and hug.
Never lie to my daughter. Teach her to accept the truth instead.

Read, remember, read again, recall and actually do all the #frikis2016, which now changes into #frikis2017

Any changes? Anything new to add? Hmm... Let me see...

Dress up!
Be more confident.
Cook (almost) every day.
More girl talk with Kukka!!!
Lose weight!!! At least 10 kilos!!!
Embrace my old self but less crazy!!!
Talk to Kukka in Bahasa Indonesia & German.
Don’t push myself too hard to remember the past.
Create better, healthier and more awesome future instead!!!