Thursday, February 25, 2010

Ready For Another?

Masuk 2010 pikiranku “terganggu” oleh satu pertanyaan yang aku ajuin ke diri sendiri. Am I ready for another baby? Dan pertanyaan yang lebih basic lagi, do I want another one?

Honestly, I don’t know. Dalam hati kecil, masih ada keinginan punya baby lagi. Apalagi kaka iparku sekarang lagi hamil 3 bulan. Wuih... Kayanya seru kalo inget jaman hamil dulu. Bener kata sebagian orang. Kalo udah pernah hamil, enjoyed it, pasti ngiler pengen hamil lagi kalo liat bumil lain. Belom lagi masalah biological clock. Let’s face it, I’m not young anymore :)) And they say 35 is when the yellow lights goes on. Taun ini, kalo masih dikasih umur, aku 34. Hamil 9 bulan. Itung, itung, itung... Kalo mau ngelahirin sebelum 35, ya harus hamil taun ini!!!!!!

HUAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Tapi begitu liat Kukka, seringkali aku langsung mantap dalam hati. Ngga ah! She’s more than enough. She’s almost perfect. Lagipula, tampangnya Kukka kayanya ngga cocok punya ade :) Selaen itu aku senewen sendiri mikirin bisa fokus ato ngga ngebesarin Kukka secara emotionally. Knowing me, kalo sampe insya Allah hamil lagi, pasti aku bakal ngebatasin diri banget secara fisik. Takut kenapa-kenapa kalo sampe kecapean dll. Meanwhile I have an Energizer toddler running around our house who also constantly wants to be with me :) Will I be able to handle it? Handle her? Handle the pregnancy?

The pregnancy. Ah, yes... Untuk hamilnya aja bakal sebuah perjuangan sendiri. Like my lovely husband said, will I be able to take the pain, the struggle, the commitment to regularly or even daily visit the doctor? Dengan mantap aku bisa jawab, the pain, I CAN handle! Daily hormon shots? Ambil darah seminggu 3x? Blah. Just like being pinched by a baby :p It’s the “inside” struggle that keeps me thinking. Most of all, it’s Kukka that I’m worrying about.

But then again, lots of mothers are doing it. Sepupuku udah punya newborn baby pas anak perempuannya baru umur 1.5 taun!! She’s doing great & so is her daughter. Dan kalo mikir lagi that there could be another mini mixture of me & my loveofmylife, my heart would just melt & says yes, yes, yes let’s do it!!! :D And Kukka is a sweet, caring & affectionate child. She already loves babies. I’m sure she’ll make a great big sister. And if Allah say yes to everything we’ve planned, Kukka will be above 2 years old. She could be enrolling in a preschool. Probably she will be the one who wouldn’t have time for me. To busy learning, playing & being a social butterfly like my friend said :))

Tapi, tapi, baruuu aja beberapa bulan ini aku bisa nikmatin bercangkir-cangkir kopi lagi & ehm...beberapa gelas Chili’s’ Margharita hihihi... Baruuuu aja bisa terima job freelance yang pake ngantor. Baruuu aja lepas dari tanggungjawab menyusui. Eh, dicampakkan tepatnya :)) Am I really ready to let those “freedom” go AGAIN???

But look at those cute little babiessss! Aaaaaaw!!! Baby boys! Baby girls! Their angelic smiles!... Their sweet scents... Who can resist those??? I want one!!

Aaaaaaaaaaargh!!! Soooo much to think about!!


5 comments:

Dinda said...

wooooo.. kuenceeeenggg :D

amelia said...

Hey teh I read your Blog and.....YES! you're so ready! you're raising cookie just fine. It's definitely CRAZY & hectic everyday and yeaapp sadly it's true, bye bye cafe or nice restaurants, especially with small isle. People will starring at you when both of your kids are SINGING a.k.a SCREAM! and the stroller won't fit on those freakin' small isle.

Coffee solution? get the decaf. Margarita? hmm..I already thinking hard about that and still..no solution =P

As far as energy during the pregnancy..believe me, you will survive, I've been there and I know you, my gemini cousin :)... See More... Mehr anzeigen

And the good news is don't worry so much about Cookie. She'll be a great big sis and adjust herself accordingly when the 2nd one arrived, just like Chlo, I guess it's the nature, or I am just plain lucky ;p

Well just think about years from now.."hello freedom, - hope not to see you again for some time, diapers," coz the kids can at least play together..so you can relax a bit.

Soooo...it's definitely a do! Hope I'll see Cookie sis/bro soon, so our kids can play together :)))

Btw, want to have unforgettable experience? try to be in delivery room alone :)) It's fun and definitely an adrenaline rush experience..hihihi.

Good Luck!!!

wullie said...

Hmmm ... you've been thinking a lot lately and might have forgotten how feeling is like, haven't you? :)
Just go with the flow, I guess. In time, you'll feel it when you are really really really ready :)

Farika said...

Dindaaaaaaa!!!! Mariii! :D :D

Wullie, it's so me, unfortunately. Torching myself by thinking too much :D

Farika said...

Dindaaaaaaa!!!! Mariii! :D :D

Wullie, it's so me, unfortunately. Torching myself by thinking too much :D