Trauma Drama

I was listening to the radio while driving home after dropping Kukka off at her school this morning. The radio hosts had a very interesting guest. A hypnotherapist. She was talking about how a person who suffered from a mental block can be cured with hypnotherapy. She told a story about a female patient who couldn’t get pregnant after years of marriage. I didn’t get how this woman got the idea of undergoing a hypnotherapy but she did. So the therapist hypnotized her and off she went down the memory lane. 

She “arrived” at her past. A very very old past. When she was still in her mother’s womb. She remembered that her father cheated on her mother when she was still in the womb. Her mother was obviously depressed and furious at her father. The mother was so disappointed, she didn’t want to have anything to do with the father. And she despised the fact that she was carrying the cheater’s child. So, the mother kept hitting her swollen pregnant tummy and repeatedly said “I hate you! I hate you! I don’t want you! I don’t want you!”

Weeks later the patient got pregnant. Apparently because she already let go of the past and made the necessary chemicals in her body “healthier and happier”. But after 2 weeks she had a miscarriage. So she went to hypnotherapy again. This time she regained the memory of her parents having a fight in front of her. And her father pointing at her while yelling at the mother “It’s only because of this child that we are still together!”. 

And then she understood. All her life she’s been feeling unwanted, unloved, forever taken for granted. So subconciously she also didn’t want any child of her own. But again, I’m sure after extensive hypnotherapies, she successfully forgave and let go of her past. She became pregnant again and gave birth to a child. 

......

I sat still inside the car for 10 minutes. I couldn’t stop thinking how awfully powerful the human mind can be. How a single terrifying event can shape a person and the memory of it ultimately affects how she lives her life. How bad words, which had been heard and buried way inside the brain for a very long time, can still force every chemical and energy to react badly in the body. How the feeling of unwanted can be so destructive, mentally and physically. Hers and others. 

I think that female patient is truly blessed. Not only did she finally get a child, she also doesn’t let her awful past define her anymore. Therefore I congratulate her and I wish for her continous well-being. It takes an indefinite amount of strength to forgive and to let go. I want to tell her that she’s a very strong and courageous woman.  

And for that, I envy her.