Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Back From The Dead

You know in those movies or stories where there’s a person, a bad person, who was doing bad stuff... And then she got into an accident or something horrible... Then she ended up in the hospital... Or lying on the street... Slowly hearing the voices around her disappearing... And then she died? Or not. Similar to the scene when Jon Snow was lying on the ground (for Game of Thrones freaks only!). But then she came back to life! Suddenly she heard this “voice” that guided and told her to come back. Then the voice kept telling her to do this and that. Things she never have done before or think capable of doing. Then later on she decided to do those things and went to places she never imagine of going,...and so on. 

Well.... I’m just curious. The thing is... As far as I can remember... There was no voice. At least not in my case. And yes obviously, I’m still alive! It’s just that... It’s very confusing and really hard to describe. Things are still weird for me right now. There are still so many things that I don’t understand. What I do know is that lately I’ve been thinking about life too much. As a matter of fact it’s more like an epiphany. Every day there’s this moment when I realize how quickly life could change. Or how impossible it is for you to predict or control. No matter how hard you’ve tried or wished. That’s when I also understand why the stories about people, sick people, who “came back from the dead”, decide to do things they’ve never done before. Maybe because they’ve been “there”. There as in on the verge of death. They realize that life is short. 

So it would be such a waste of time if you live your life or your goals are only:

  • to please others, especially those who don’t appreciate you      
  • to whine while there are others who live life worse that yours
  • to be sad while there are so many things to be happy and grateful about
  • to follow others whose opinions are not worthy to be followed or even heard in the first place
  • to feel unwanted when there’s actually people who are yearning for your love and simple hellos
  • to feel outcasted while there’s this person who desperately wants to be with you night and day

And so on... 

I think I get it now and I’m trying to do something about it. At least “a“ thing. That’s why bit by bit I’m planning or already doing some changes. Maybe that’s also why those who are closest to me said they already saw something different in me, like...personality wise. In a good way, I hope #LOL I mean... Come on! I’ve been practically given a second life here! If I still do things the same way I did before all these dramas, I must be the biggest idiot on earth. Who knows? Maybe it turns out that I’m changing back to my old self. My real self. But hopefully much better #LOL And ALLAH’s willing, maybe it will make me completely healthy again! No more seizures and memory loss!

Another important thing that I have to remember is to never ever expect people to treat you the same way you treat them. Nope. This point might be one of the most valuable lessons I got so far. And one of the most important point to remember forever!!! It turns out life is not THAT “generous”. Sadly but true. If you’re faithful to someone, it doesn’t mean that the person will be faithful to you. If you helped someone, it is very possible that the very next day that person already take you for granted. You think he or she will always be your friend? Nope. You’re sure her love for you is real? Be careful. To her you might have been only a rebound. 

And so on... 

Yeah... I think I get it now. 


lukman hakim said...

Aku melihat memang ada perubahan kearah yang lebih baik sedikit demi sedikit. Mulai suka masak misalnya hehe dan lebih motherly

Keke Husain said...

"Sadly but true. If you’re faithful to someone, it doesn’t mean that the person will be faithful to you."

I experienced this and disappointed a lot of times :(

Ow well... Life is not fair eh...

Anonymous said...

Right on point the. So far this is my fave post :) -Amelia