Who Do You Think You Are?

"Sekali ini aja kok!" or "Just this once!"

This 'magic' sentence... The one you say in moments when you actually think you are God. You think you can control what will, is, and going to happen. 

An innocent and curious child who thinks that putting his hand inside a cage full of dogs won't hurt him. That no dog will bite him. But who knows??? - A woman lets her friend kiss her for old time sake. Just this once. She will not let anything happen further than a harmless kiss. But who knows??? - A man gets drunk and drives his car afterwards. Nothing ever happens before. So he's sure that he'll arrive safely at home. But who knows???

"Who knows?" 

I'm not saying that you should live in fear, that you should worry all the time and end up doing nothing, or not going anywhere anymore. Just like that boy Oskar Schell in Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close movie. It just amazes me really. How some people think of themselves above everybody else. Which makes it even worse, she/he thinks above The One who created her/him. Just because she wears a hijab. Or he has dark spots on his forehead. Or she goes to the church more often than others. And so on and so on. No. That's not a guarantee. A sinful man who gives his last rupiah to the poor could be the one who'll enjoy heaven. While the man who goes to the mosque everyday but treats other people like shit will end up in hell. Human. The most intelligent and somewhat arrogant being ALLAH SWT has created. Obviously intentionally. Because why would HE give the complete package only to us: a brain to think, a heart to feel, and a mind to decide. Heaven or hell. Where you will end up is affected by what you do and for ALLAH SWT to decide. Yes. I'll write it again: it's totally up to The Almighty. Not you. So don't you even bother to act like you are god. It just makes you like an idiot instead.

Ah what am I saying! This is a complicated random thought that I just have to write down :)) I'm not sure why I'm thinking about these things. I guess... It's because the older I get, the more people I meet and...man!!! Humans are complicated!!! Men. Women. Young and old. You think you know them but then... BOOM!!! Something happens which makes you think "What. The. Fuck???" And just like that you lose the trust, the respect or the love you used to have for that certain person. And also from those who you think were and would always be there for you. Perfect timing too. Just when I was trying to be more "social"...

I guess at the end of the day since The Almighty give me the ability to heal myself it’s just me. The one who can mend my own broken heart. Me, myself and only me.