Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Are You Raising A Brat?

I found an interesting article today. “I can’t stand brats - and the parents who (don’t) raise them”. The minute I read that article, I instantly like the author. I kept telling Diane Clehane in my head “I feel you. I really do.”

I love babies but not so crazy about 3 yrs and above. But I do like them in a tolerable way. Unlike my husband who doesn’t like children but his own. But as much as I’m friendly to kids, I can be also be a mean witch. My child or others, if they’re being a brat & nice, calm words don’t work, I never hesitate to scold them. Most of the time it works & so far I never been “attacked” by their angry parents. But if they do, I would tell it straight to their faces & say “It’s your fault.”

Yes. I do believe that how your kids behave is how you teach & show them. As far as I can remember, I was never been a little brat because my parents didn’t raise me to be one. Sure, I was kinda spoiled & cried a lot :D But I never acted out in public. I had my mom who teach me how to behave & I had my dad who I respected *afraid of* :p He rarely raised his voice on me. Even when I accidentally broke the car door. He just walked to me, looked angry & snapped his finger to my ear. I didn’t feel a thing :D It was his presence alone which made me not wanting to be a little brat.

So yes, I was never the little girl who wailed in the toy store because my mom didn’t buy me what I wanted. I never screamed & ran around inside a mosque when people were praying. I never sat facing & staring at other people in the restaurant. In many ways my parents were probably spoiling me but in some ways they also taught me discipline, the right & the wrong. Now I think I grew up pretty nicely :D I guess that’s is exactly what I want to give to my daughter too.

I love my Kukka to death. If I had the power, I would give her absolutely anything she wants. With condition, IF it’s reasonable and it’s good for her. It’s been only 1.5 years, but I do think I’m a tough mom. A couple of times Kukka would cry for no reason at all but being spoiled. She threw things & hit me or the maid. I immediately took her to my room without saying a word, put her on the bed & let her cry out until she’s exhausted. During a pause I asked her “Are you done? If you are, you can play again outside & be a sweet girl.” Kukka acted out again & I let her be. I was able to ignore her hugs, her puppy-eyed look & funny blabber. I was being a mean mom :p I told her I didn’t want her. Not until she would stop crying & be a sweet girl again. And voila! She did. She walked to me & hugged me. No more crying :)

Some people would think that I’m being unreasonable. But I know my daughter. One thing I’ve learned about motherhood is never underestimate your child. Don’t think that she doesn’t understand what you’re saying because she does. She might act like she doesn’t but deep down she’s able to grasp the meaning of it.

I realize that we’re having a handful child here. She’s going to be a tough girl to handle. Many time my husband & I would talk about how Kukka’s going to be when she’s a teenager. We would sigh & be desperate for a second :p Like any other mothers, I have my worries. But lucky me I have a husband who shares the same belief in raising a child. So I’m pretty confident that with Allah’s guidance, my husband & family’s support, I can raise my daughter to be a beautiful little woman inside & out. Amin.

1 comment:

enggar said...

and to be a cool woman too :)