Fly Away Dear Friend...

Sigh... I have so much to say but I don't know where to start... All I know is that I want to talk about families and friends. About time. About life and regrets.

Yesterday Keke and I visited our dear friend Santy who is currently admitted to the ICU. If I remember correctly this is the second time she's been hospitalized... Keke and I heard the news days before and immediately made a date to go to the hospital together. To tell you the truth I didn't know what to expect. All I could think was what to bring for Santy. And I was also worried that I might meet some friends who I used to know but I don't remember anymore. I just don't want to be rude you know? I can't just shake somebody's hand and say "Sorry aku ngga inget kamu siapa." So I was practically glued on Keke's side and we went to the ICU... And there she was... Our friend Santy. On the bed. With all sorts of tubes attached to her body. It took me less than 5 minutes... I couldn't handle it. I broke down and sobbed on Keke's shoulder. I think at some point I did ask Keke lots of "why"s... Man I'm crying as we speak 😭 I don't know if I can do this... Blog about this correctly... But this is my way to "store" memories... So I'm going to keep trying...

In the ICU room Keke and I stood beside Santy's bed... I held our dear friend's leg carefully and started to recite surahs for a person who is ill. Because that was the only thing I could do for Santy. But then... Her swollen hand caught my eyes and... I just couldn't take it... I turned back to Keke and cried in her arms. Keke tried very hard to calm me down. I said I couldn't stay there and see Santy in that condition. I also didn't want to make her mother even more sad. But I think I did... Because when Santy's mom reached out her hand I saw a couple of old teary eyes... I kissed her hand... I didn't know what to say... "Sabar ya Tante - Semoga Santy cepat sembuh ya - Jangan sedih ya Tante" didn't sound right... But when Santy's mom gently hugged me and said "Doain Santy ya..." I wept. Because those were the same words I said to her... That I will pray for her dear daughter. Keke immediately took me outside the room and we stood there. I cried and cried. And then my teeth started to chatter and my hands were shaking. I had a seizure. I think this BFF of mine started to panic and kept saying "Gimana ini? Dol! Gimana dong? Dol! Aduh!" And then you know what???? I had to calm her down!!!! ME the one who was HAVING the seizure!!! 😂 But the more Keke panicked, the more she made me laugh 😂 I was like "Ini sahabat kok ya ngga ada gunanya! 😂"

Eventually the seizure stopped and Keke took me to this big room where a lot of people were sitting/resting/sleeping on the carpet. It's a place where the patients' families and friends rest without having to leave the hospital. I saw a couple of familiar faces. Santy's husband, Yoga, and her sister, Mba Kiki. I was still shaking a little bit. That's why I think I didn't say much. I'm just glad I had the chance to visit Santy... All I can do for her is send prayers... 

After that Keke and I went back to her office to grab some lunch. The place was packed since well... It was lunch hour. Duh! 🤪 Thankfully Didi came to the rescue and he managed to find a table for the 3 of us. Lunch with these 2 is always... Fun 😄 We exchanged stories, some useless yet some were "heavy" 😆 We made each other laugh and oh I don't know... They just sort of saved my day 🤗 

I went home with a smile on my face and tears in my heart. All the way home I couldn't stop wondering... Why is it that somebody has to get sick first, or sadly passed away, to have her/his families and friends to get together, spend time, share stories and laughters and, ............................................................................................................................................................

As I was typing the words above, Keke called me at 8:20pm.... Santy just passed away with her family by her side... 😢😢😢

Inna Lillahi Wa Innaa Illaihii Raji'un.

 

Rest in peace my dear friend... I'm so sorry we didn't spend a lot of time together... In shāʾ Allāh you are now not in pain anymore... Love you San...

*Picture sent today, August 29th by Keke*