Tuesday, January 24, 2012

To You, You and You.

Yes, you. 

I know you've been reading my blog. Thank you. I appreciate your interest in my life and I hope you've been entertained by my writings. 

Well, actually I do know for a fact that you like my writings. Not intend to be a cocky bitch here, really. But since you copy-pasted my lines in your Twitter account, in your bio, and only God knows where else, you must like them very much. So much you treated them as if they were your original ideas, your personal life and experiences. What the fuck?!?!? Seriously.

ORIGINAL. Do you know what it means? 

You know, there's a section below every post where you can drop me a comment or two. Just tell me that you like my writings and ask for permission to post some of the lines in your Twitter or anywhere else. With credit, of course. Simply put my name next to it or the url if you're in the mood to be more respectful. That, my youngsters, is the right thing to do. Ask. Don't steal. Don't cheat. 

Nobody likes a thief. And everybody surely hates a cheater.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Dear Kukka: It's about life

Dear Kukka, 

I know you’re only 3.6 years old now. Far too young to learn about life. But who knows? Maybe by the time you read this, you’d be in the perfect age to know a little bit more about life. 

My sweet girl... From the day you were born... No, let me rephrase that. From the day the idea of having you in my life was in my head and set in my heart, you’ve been very fortunate and blessed with so much love. So far you’re living an easy and happy life. Perhaps the only bad moments that you have are the times when I get tough on you and I don’t always give you the things that you want. But one day you’ll thank me for it. Trust me. 

In short, you’re living the toddler’s dream, baby. 

But soon, my precious, your life might start to change. You’ll see that there are times when you can’t see the slightest ray of sunlight or even the so called silver lining in your dark sky. You’ll realize that there are actually some people who want to hurt you, strangers or sadly, even loved ones. There will be days when you discover ugly truths about your friends and families. You’ll also make mistakes, big and small, and some people might ended up hating you for it. Then sadly, there will be times when I, your mother, whose life is dedicated only for you, will not be able to help you or be there for you. Then you’ll realize that nobody is perfect. Not even your parents. Then you’ll get your heart broken and you’ll be drown in tears.

Now that’s when you’ll find out that life is not always a bed of roses. That, my little Godsend, is what you called simply a LIFE. The full package of laughters, tears and bitter-sweet ironies. 

So, as much as I want to, I can’t and won’t promise you that life will always be easy. I can’t even promise you that I will always be there for you. The only thing I can do is to promise you that my love for you will never change. It will be as enormous and overwhelming as right now. And if for some reasons it did change, I assure you my love for you would only be greater. 

There is one more thing that I can promise you though. That if for some reasons I could not help you and be there for you in any way, know that Allah SWT will. 


Friday, January 06, 2012

Downward Spiral

In my down days I often wonder. Just basic stuff, really. Like this never ending questions about why bad things happen to good people and bad people often get what they want. Then there’s why there are some who have to pay a really high price until the day they die for some mistakes that they’ve done a long time ago. There’s also a question why some have to live in despair for the rest of their lives because of somebody else’s mistake. And why there are persons who posed as the innocence yet they’re exactly the ones who rip other people’s hearts. 

Or... The really super basic of them all: why life can be such a cliche and so hard sometimes. So hard that it makes the problem seems so surreal. It’s like you’re in a daze. Your surrounding is spinning around and all the colors in the world are almost fading. And you feel like you’re floating. Not ghostly kind of floating. But more like a smoke. If somebody was there to catch you, he couldn’t. You can’t be saved because it’s like you’re there but not exactly here. But then, seconds later you’re back. With good and hard smack on the head. And heart. 

And then your heart starts to bleed again. Back to reality.

Sunday, January 01, 2012