Thursday, December 31, 2015

Auf Wiedersehen 2015

Well, well. What an epic year it has been. According to my diary, infos from family and friends, and also from the tracks that I've left behind on my social medias’ accounts, my life was quite peachy until... 

March 12th, 2015
It was the day when my life has changed possibly for...forever. It was the day I got my first seizure from a rare illness. Yes. I've been told that it's rare. Like... There's no cure yet. You won't find it anywhere in the world. It is called Autoimmune Encephalitis

Fancy name. Annoying as hell. I am still suffering from it but so far I’ve managed to live with it. And yes, I’m still praying for that day to come... When my doctor will call me and say that they finally find a cure for it. And that the cure will be available for me and works its wonder. Amin. 

2015 is also the year when I realize that... is short. One minute you are lazying around on your couch while reading your favorite novel and then the next second... You end up lying helplessly on a hospital bed, on the verge of your death. People are already crying for you, thinking that you would never make it. Or even worse, that you were already gone. is tricky. Suddenly the things that you are not allowed to do or not supposed to have, look so easy to be done and very much available. And yet then there you are... Contemplating about what to do and what to ignore. is a handful. Oh yes, no shit. Tell me about it. Oh wait. Don’t. is confusing. You think you know a person. You think you mean something to a certain someone. You think you have a special place in somebody’s heart. Yet all of a sudden they ignore you, he forgets about you, or she thinks you are a burden. Some people feel sorry for you. Some even already shed tears because they think you will not make it. But some maybe only feel sorry and then the next day they already forget all about you. is funny. Today you barely know a person. The next day that same person is the one who is going to feed you, bathe you, take care of you, and if not, also wiping your stinky butt. And also just when you thought everything is lost, you realize that you do have everything. Yup. Life is funny that way. is weird. Your life, your friend’s, your family member’s... It turns out somehow in some ways they are all totally connected to each other. So it also affects each other's life. So be careful, think deep and act cautiously. Because you could be the one who's causing a disaster to a person's life. Or...maybe... The saviour. is full of temptations. All of a sudden those people who once were in your heart and then gone for some reasons, are back. Just like that. After a while it seems that they also like to stay in some ways. And let’s not start with the new ones... is precious. That is why you should spend it with your loved ones. It doesn’t have to be every second. But always remember that somewhere, sometime, someone is out there. Waiting for you to come and say that you love her, that you need him, that you are grateful for her being, that you are always there to help him, that you are there to support her, that you will forgive him. is you. Or better said, your life is yours. Don’t expect anybody to know or understand your battle. Nobody does. Only you. So if somebody said he understands what you’re going through, just nod. Because unfortunately, many times there’s no point in arguing. And if somebody doesn’t seem to care... Well... Maybe it’s just because she just don’t. Also remember that there always be a person or two who takes your actions or attitudes the wrong way. Why? Just like I said before. Because he or she doesn’t understand your battle. So just sit back, relax and occasionally, smile like your heart is not actually breaking into pieces. 

Yup! Those points above pretty much sum up my 2015. It’s been one hell of a year indeed. Now let's see if I could still be around to enjoy 2016. ;)

Happy New Year, everybody!


Sikander Iqbal said...

Happy New Year!

Farika said...

Hi! Happy new year to you too :) Have a great year ahead!

dinda said...

just had the time to read this. This is beautiful :') And very very true. Happy new year! my resolution is to visit you more this year :D

Farika said...

I will be waiting!!!! :*