SUDEP

SUDEP: Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy. I didn't even know there's such thing until I found a mother on Twitter with the username: @bugsme012 who tweets every single day:

"Every day in memory of my son and every victim of SUDEP"

I think I found her twitter because @BrainAblaze retweeted the tweet and I'm following @BrainAblaze... Then a couple of days later I heard the news that a certain young celebrity passed away because of SUDEP. Cameron Boyce was only 20 years old when he died because of complications of epilepsy. He died in his sleep after a seizure... And then I was like "Huh??? You really can DIE in your sleep after a seizure???" After that since Anti-NMDAR Encephalitis is pretty much related to epilepsy, I'm starting to dig more about what SUDEP is.

Apparently according to Know SUDEP Now, Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy, while rare, can occur when a person with epilepsy dies because of a related accident or seizure emergency. You have an increased risk of SUDEP if the tonic-clonic seizures in your sleep are uncontrolled and you sleep alone. So now I know WHY there are times when I wake up drenched in sweat and panting heavily as if I just run up and down the stairs for 2 hours!!!! Yes, it happened. I have a seizure and then I fall asleep. But I wouldn't know if I don't wake up with my tees soaking wet, my pillow has a giant drool island or some body parts hurt (because I hit something accidentaly). There are also times when I just wake up in shock and ask myself "What the fuck just happened????" SUDEP occurs more frequently in people whose seizures are poorly controlled though. So hopefully when I take my medicines on time and avoid stuff that can trigger seizures umm... I guess...I'll be safe? Fingers crossed! Avoiding the physical stuff is easy. The emotional ones on the other hand... 

Sleep seizure or also known as nocturnal seizure disrupts your sleep and makes you dizzy during daytime, which can increase the risk of seizures. Why? Because lack of sleep can also increase your chance to have seizures. Unfortunately going to sleep is not that easy for people with epilepsy. Why? Oh it's complicated :)) According to Epilepsy Action Australia, diagnosing nocturnal seizures can be difficult because they happen during sleep, and the person may not be aware of them happening. Yup! That's true :)) It even happened to me during EEG and I didn't know! Of course my beloved dr. Rocksy already explained to me these types of seizures. Unsurprisingly I forgot all about it BUT fortunately I already blogged about it :) (Doc Rocksy Menjelaskan) Now I've become aware of this SUDEP thing which turns out to be...possible. I wonder why dr. Rocksy never mention about it to me though... Or maybe she did??? 

Anyways... Now I understand... No wonder my daughter and the maids like to check up on me when I'm sleeping or just chilling in the bedroom. Kukka would get close to me while I'm lying on my bed and she touches my arm or just calls my name. Sometimes while we're busy doing our own things, Dewi would knock on my bedroom door, calls me and takes a peek. Or Kukka would just screams out my name from her bedroom using that loud and cute voice of hers :) Apparently I had seizures during sleeping and my daughter witnessed those moments. My poor baby must be quite traumatized :( I talked about it with Kukka while I was writing. Her response:

"Now I'm calmer because I know what to do to help you." -Kukka-

How can I NOT love her THIS much. My beloved precious godsend :*

The New Normal

Normal. 

What does it mean exactly? I guess everybody has his/her own opinion about what is normal. It's a subjective matter after all. Especially since this horrible pandemic began. According to Wikipedia: A new normal is a state to which an economy, society, etc. settles following a crisis, when this differs from the situation that prevailed prior to the start of the crisis. The term has been used following the financial crisis of 2007-2008, the aftermath of the 2008–2012 global recession, and the COVID-19 pandemic.

Yeah... It's the Corona virus guys... Real. Hoax. Self-quarantine. Mingling in a crowd. Mask. No mask. I heard that there's even some big conspiracy theories about the COVID-19. Whatever I don't know... #bigsigh What I do know for sure is that I don't want to gamble with life. Especially the lives of my loved ones. My families and my Precious Godsend in particular.

Avoiding crowds might be a little bit tricky for some. Especially for those who eventually have to start working outside their homes. But it sure is stressing me out, this -fromhome thing. I miss doing unimportant things outside the house. I miss my friends. I miss picking Kukka up from school. I miss our pizza time before her Skaci class. I miss going to the movies. I miss my pilates session. I miss just sitting around and enjoying a cup of coffee in a small coffeeshop. I miss my me-time outside the house. I miss having lunch with my BFF. I miss a lot of things! Unfortunately as a person who suffer from an autoimmune disease, which makes me even more vulnerable to catch COVID-19, I have to be extra patient and super extra careful. The risk is too high. Not only for me but also for everybody around me. Then again, stress is very bad for my health :)) 

So for my well-being I still go out even if it's as simple as driving around Bintaro. Or just relaxing on the patio, enjoying the weather with my girl, SiMoochi and SiBapa. I let all doors in our house wide open to get some fresh air. SiBapa's team also still come to our house and work and do whatever it is that they do up there :)) In some weird ways I do enjoy having SiBapa's team working here :) What I'm trying to say is that we are not being paranoid to be with other people. Once or twice we also go out to meet our parents. Making other people happy can also make you and others healthy you know :)

So yeah... Again. If it's as easy as wearing a mask which can save lives and at the same time can let you live a new normal life, then what's the hold up? Uncomfortable? Yes. Ruining the look? Probably. But so what?!? There's too many "what ifs" involved. Too many questions, doubts and uncertainties. Too much is at stake if you're not wearing a mask. 

What if that one time I didn't wear my mask it caused a family member sick and pass away? What if that one time I forgot to wash my hands it made some stuff I've touched "infected" by this god forsaken virus? What if that one time I chose to ignore all the necessary precautions it made this virus transmission easier? What if that one time YOU chose to be ignorant?

At the end I guess it's all about choice. If you choose to be reasonable, you follow the extra precautions. Wear a mask and have a new normal life. They might spare you and your loved ones a couple more years to live life as healthy beings. If you choose to be as dumb and ignorant as Donald Trump, who said "It is what it is.", better think it through how your stupidity at the end of the day could effect not only you, but also your loved ones. Salute ;)

*I'm wearing this super cool mask by Wickana Laksmi Dewi. Visit Masker Untuk Indonesia and get one ;) 

Dear Kukka: Happy 12 & Welcome To SMP Pembangunan Jaya!

Well... I don't care how old you get. You will always be our SiBaiyi. 

Whose cheeks I kiss, sniff and bite every second every day. 

I will always hug you as tight as I can, 

and shower you with kisses no matter how annoyed or angry you get. 

You are a gift from above. Our precious godsend, forever and always. 

HAPPY 12th BIRTHDAY! :*

Extra special things happened on this year's birthday. You received so many presents! SiBapa gave you that Nintendo thing including the game Animal Crossing which you've always wanted. By the way your reaction was priceless when we gave you the present. It turned out it's because you didn't expect it but you did know what it was. I guess the shape of the box gave it away huh?! :)) 

And then like it couldn't get any better, your uncles joined in and spoiled you to the max by sending you more presents! Uncle Ferry and Uncle Harry gave you Yooka-Laylee and Pokemon Shield to play with your new toy. Like I said "Dimanjaaaaa!" :p 

Anyways SiBapa and SiBubu also want to congratulate you for officially being a junior high student :) Congratulations! I bet it is going to be another adventurous year. Not only for you but also for SiBapa and SiBubu. Considering that you have to do practically everything from home because of this vicious virus... To tell you the truth I'm actually quite sad that you have to start your new phase of life this way. The "New Normal" way they say. Well I don't like it!! :( I like the NOT normal way. Wait. Or is it the old normal way? :)) Why? Well I would love for you to meet your new teachers in person and make new friends face to face. I would love to see you run around and explore your new school with those curious eyes of yours. I would love to hear your stories when you come home from school. Or even kissing the sweaty-smelly Kukka! Unfortunately everything has to be done via screen nowadays. Internet, cellphones, apps and computers etc. But if that's the best way to do than so be it. Better safe than sorry, right?

You being a 7th grader is a very big challenge for me too. SiBapa keeps reminding me for the gazzilionth times to leave you alone. To let you do your things on your own. To give you some space. To give you bigger responsibilities. He told me to stop nagging you to do your homeworks. SiBapa said I should not interfere with your daily school things. If you forget something, if you miss your assignments, if you get bad grades, if you get left behind, it will be on your hands. Not mine or Bapa's. And if that's what you deserve, than so be it. Tough? Yes. Mean? Well... Not really :)) It might feel and looks like it sometimes but... To put things short and simple just remember this: you reap what you sow. That "future consequences are inevitably shaped by present actions" - dictionary.com.

Life is an adventure and that is best lived boldy. 

So go have fun with your new teachers and friends, be grateful and polite, stay healthy and always be happy! 

I love you :*

100 Hari

Seratus hari telah berlalu. 

Namun rasa sedih itu masih saja ada. 

Di kala sendiri atau dalam kebersamaan, 

kehadiranmu, Opa, masih saja selalu terasa.

Kisah tentang kehebatanmu di masa muda, 

dan kearifanmu sampai di ujung usia, 

tetap menjadi bagian di saat kami bertukar cerita.

Kenapa, mungkin Opa bertanya di sudut alam sana. 

Karena kami sangat kehilanganmu, merindukanmu, sangat menyayangimu,

Selalu.

Selamanya.

Amin.

Dear Kukka: Congratulations!

YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL GRADUATE!!!! WOOOHOOO!!!

After all those ups and downs, dramas, tears, laughters, frustrations, celebrations, tensions, surprises, adventures and everything in between in Sekolah Cikal Cilandak and Sekolah Alam Tangerang, you, my forever-baby-girl, are now off to the next level of your life: JUNIOR HIGH. 

Good God!!! 😅 I'm still having a tough time to believe it. No. To PRONOUNCE it even!!! To say it outloud whenever later on people ask me what grade you are in now. And I would answer "Oh my daughter in first grade...junior high!" 

Don't get me wrong. I'm obviously very happy and excited about it. But to tell you the truth, I'm also kinda nervous. I mean... Come on... You? In junior high? Considering what an adventurous and headstrong girl you are, I bet junior high will be...a blast? 😬 And as I wrote before on the previous post, your teacher, Bunda Rurie said: "Kukka memiliki keyakinan diri yang kuat dan tidak mudah diatur." 😂 Okay, okay, I'm such a drama queen but so what?!?!?! I AM YOUR MOTHER! It's God-given nature to feel and act this way toward your child. And it's totally normal for you to be annoyed and think "Argh! Okay! So what?!?" 😆 BUT!!! Like I've always said to you... 

One day, when you do have a child on your own, you will finally understand why I can't stop hugging and kissing you, why I get angry whenever you do things just for the sake of doing it when I know that you actually can do so much more, why I can't stop biting those smooth, beautiful yet thankfully still chunky long legs, and most of all why I'm having these mixed feelings about you going to the next level of your life. But for sure, babycakes, wherever you are, I'm very proud of and I'm with you all the way.

Ich liebe dich, Mein Ein und Alles. 😘

Thank You Sekolah Alam Tangerang

It's official. Our baby girl is an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL GRADUATE. YEAY! :))

Kukka already received her certificate days ago. But this morning the kids, parents and teachers got together via Zoom and had a Lepas Kenang moment. It took quite an effort to get all families together on screen. When the families were ready every student had to say a few words about the time in Sekolah Alam Tangerang. Kukka prepared her speech just the night before. It was 16 sentences long and I must say I'm very proud of her :)

You can tell that Kukka was very serious when she wrote it. The speech was about her feelings as a new student in Sekolah Alam Tangerang, about her struggle, her likes and dislikes, even about the dramas when she had fights and said bad words at school :)) And yes, it was in Bahasa Indonesia and Kukka did it all by herself. Woohoo! That's another part which makes me, and very possibly also her teachers all proud and full of tears of...joy? :) Afterall they were the ones who patiently taught Kukka from Monday to Friday for 2 years. Bunda Rurie, Kukka's teacher also wrote a description of Kukka which I think is totally spot on :))

"Kukka anak yang suka menggambar. Kukka juga suka designing, animating dan drafting karena Kukka memiliki ide-ide imajinasi yang tinggi. Kukka memiliki keyakinan diri yang kuat dan tidak mudah diatur." -Bunda Rurie-

Well yeah... That's SiBapa's girl alright :)) Especially the "tidak mudah diatur" part. I wonder where she got it from :p Anyways personally it was also a very emotional moment for me. Not only because now I have to accept the fact that my kid is an elementary graduate. Practically a teenager. But also because I have to say goodbye to the mothers who have been so nice to me these past couple of years. The moms who have been very patient, very helpful, always reply my questions day and night, and obviously they are fun to be with. I can't even imagine how to get through Kelas 5 dan Kelas 6 without them. I really hope our friendship will last long :)

Finally I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the teachers in Sekolah Alam Tangerang. Because of you, Kukka has become a better person and hopefully everything she has learned in Sekolah Alam Tangerang will be a valuable asset for her future. Oh! And also thank you to Pak Amsari the school security man, who always greets me with a friendly hello and a wide smile :) 

And this is a video beautifully done by Bunda Audrey, Elang's mom. Text and narration by me (which SiBapa & Kukka don't believe at all that the voice-over is MY VOICE -_- )

"Gimana, 'Ka?"

I can still hear your gentle voice...

I don't want to say or ask why. 

Because it's not my right and place to say.

I have no doubt that ALLAH SWT, 

already has prepared a better place for you up there. 

All I can do now for you is pray and wish. 

That you are now in a better place. 

The place where you certainly deserve to be. 

As a kind and understanding person.

Who had so much love to give and lots of fun to share.

Thank you ALLAH, for the time you gave me to be with Bapa.

Just the two of us.

For giving me the chance to pour my heart out to him. 

And for giving us the priceless time to listen and to comfort each other.

I will cherish that precious moment for the rest of my life.

Dearest Bapa,

May you now rest in peace that you've longed for and deserved.

And I will surely miss our funny, sweet yet serious deeptalks.

I love you. 

SiMoochi The Hero

It was Thursday evening around 8pm. I just got home after picking up Kukka from her 4D3N holiday at her beloved Uncle Ferry's house. The driver already left. It was the 3 of us again at home: Kukka, SiMoochi and me. I kept telling Kukka to take a shower which she of course totally ignored. SiMoochi was running around the house, begging for my attention. I was so ready to catch and squeeze my furry baby until suddenly... He stopped. SiMoochi suddenly "froze" right in front of the bathroom stairs. He looked at the door intensely. His ears were all "spikey", his eyes were very wide and on full alert. You could totally see that there was something wrong. At first I didn't really care about it since SiMoochi does that a lot. But usually he does it in front of the stairs. Usually SiMoochi looks up to the middle of the stairs to the second floor and he just...stares at...something. Spooky. Yes. But I must admit this time it was totally different. 

Still... I tried to carry and hug SiMoochi like I always do. The second I touched him SiMoochi jumped high and curled his body like something was gonna hurt him. I told my furry boy that everything was okay. I managed to catch him and carried him around the house. I asked "What's going on Moochi? Let me hug you! I miss you!" But then SiMoochi jumped and ran away, right to Kukka's bathroom. I tried to hug him again yet one more time, SiMoochi jumped high, on full alert. I said okay, this is getting annoying. I'll leave you alone, I said to SiMoochi. 

I can't remember how many minutes later when I came back looking for SiMoochi. I think it was also at the same time when I told Kukka to finally wash up since it was getting late. I turned on Kukka's bathroom and there he was... SiMoochi. Sitting on the bathroom floor, right in front of the trash bin. His whole expression was on full alert. SiMoochi looked at me and looked right back at the trash bin. And then it finally hit me. There must be something wrong. Something must be around that trash bin and SiMoochi knew it. Of course it didn't take long until I put one and one together: SiMoochi - suspicious look - bathroom - trash bin - cobra "fever". 

Yes. Lately lots of black cobra, big ones and babies, have been found around the cluster. There's even a notification letter and training how to deal with snakes from the cluster management about this. A couple of days before I found a baby cobra slithering away on the grass. I yelled and called my driver who was totally useless. He screamed and practically ran back into the house. I was like -_- Then I called Dewi dan Yuli, the maids. Dewi tried to catch the snake, Yuli picked up the security guys. The guys couldn't find it. They lost the snake in the middle of the bushes near Kukka's bathroom wall. The guys also found which appeared to be a snake hole. So yeah... I thought that must be the same one.

So anyways what I did seconds later was carefully carried SiMoochi away from the trash bin, immediately closed the bathroom door, put Kukka and SiMoochi in the bedroom and called the security guys. I was very impressed because the guys came minutes after I called. Complete with a snake stick. I told them that I didn't know for sure that there was a snake but it could be considering of the cobra which we lost a couple days ago and of course, SiMoochi's weird behaviour. The security guys said no worries and it was very good that I called them right away. Because apparently they already caught about... 10 (?) snakes around the cluster. Same ones. Black cobras. Mostly in Blok H if I'm not mistaken. I was like WTF????????? 

So yeah... One of the guys lifted the trash bin and said "Iya ada nih..." (Yup! There's one.) in a very calm manner. Again I was like WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!??! THERE'S A SNAKE INSIDE MY HOUSE!!!! In my baby's bathroom too!!! And she was just gonna wash up!!! It didn't take long for the security guys to get the snake with the stick. I recorded the whole thing and I realized that this one was actually bigger than the one we lost in the garden. I didn't have an Aqua bottle which they usually use to put the snakes in and throw them away back to the river. Long story short at the end, the security guys had to kill it. I thanked the guys for coming and they gave me some tips and told me to call them anytime. Some of the tips were putting fiber mats in front of the doors and mothballs near every drainage around the house. Apparently snakes don't like the smells of mothballs. Go figure.

After that what I did was giving SiMoochi a big hug and lots of thanks and praises. And of course a very delicious treat, his favourite: Me-O Creamy Treats: Chicken & Liver :) To think that I almost couldn't sleep because I was sooo worried SiMoochi would encounter another snake and get hurt... It turned out cats are quite good in catching snakes. Even house cats! One of them is Scribble: Can A House Cat Kill Snakes?

So yes! Thanks to SiMoochi Kukka and I were safe that night. If only SiMoochi wasn't that jumpy... If only SiMoochi didn't sit on full alert mode in the bathroom that whole time... If only SiMoochi didn't look the way he did in front of the trash bin... If only SiMoochi didn't return at the same time we arrived at home...

Thank you CiMoochMooch, our handsome furry hero :*

Kukka Merantau II: To Desa Hanjeli

December 9 - 13th was quite an adventure for my beloved Godsend. And for me actually! It was Kukka's second outing and it was my first time ever being without her and not having any communication whatsoever for so long. This time the outing was called "Merantau II: The Harmonizer - Menjadi Generasi Yang Berani, Peduli dan Bermanfaat" The destination was to Desa Wisata Hanjeli 

Kukka's adventure started right after I dropped her off at school. As you may know by now, things in Sekolah Alam Tangerang is not easy. Travelling included. There was no fancy Full-AC busses or such. The kids and their mentors had to take trains, walked on their own carrying big and heavy backpacks, on-off angkots etc. It really was a tiring adventure. The actvities started very early in the mornings, doing fajr prayers and dzikir in the mosque. They even spent the first night in the mosque if I'm not mistaken. In Desa Hanjeli the kids did lots of activities which they couldn't do in the city. It was quite impressing and I was actually happy when I saw the pictures. I mean... In this adventure Kukka did things that she probably could never do if she's travelling with her parents. She actually stayed in the local villager's house. She learned how to play wayang golek. She went to turtles conservation. She had to use squating toilettes which she doesn't like :)) She planted Job's Tears or Biji Hanjeli. She made this snack which she called "rice crispies" but I think what she meant is rengginang :p Kukka also mentioned that in the village there were lots of chickens and dogs and that the dogs like to eat tempe :)) The most memorable moment for Kukka was when she visited the waterfall in Curug Sodong. She said it was very beautiful. Oh! And Kukka also made this beautiful necklace for me from scratch!

 

There are also lots of stories, funny ones, that are too secretive to share. It involved embarrassing moments that happened to some of her friends hence the secretive. "Don't write the name on your blog!" she said. :)) I asked Kukka how much she missed me. Very much and I cried, she said. Oh baby... I did too... I cried because I missed you so much and I didn't know for sure how you were. And I didn't hear your voice for THAT long!!! It was almost impossible. The maids, Dewi and Yuli always checked up on me. Especially in the evenings. They were really worried I would get seizures and such and because it did happened once or twice. I'm very thankful for having them around :) I did use the time when Kukka was away for my regular check up with dr. Rocksy, having lunch with friends and spent some me-times.

On the day the kids were coming, the moms were very busy preparing surprises. When we picked up the kids from school we made sure that there were no cars on the school parking lots. So the kids wouldn't know that their parents were actually there. Waiting to hug and kiss them like crazy. We decorated the hall, prepared lots of food for the kids etc. 

                                                                    

And when the kids showed up... Oh my... I couldn't hold my tears. I screamed my baby's name, hugged her soooo tight and cried. I was so happy that my baby was back in my arms healthy and happy. My baby looked fresh and healthy alhamdulillah. The only thing that was different was her skin which looked a bit darker. After lots of hugs and kisses I gave her a welcome home gift from SiBapa: 1,700 ROBUX! There's nothing else she would appreciate more. In fact Kukka was probably happier receiving those Robux than being squeezed by her SiBubu :))

Kukka Goes To Hanoi

So... It started with a phone call from a number I didn't recognized. I almost ignore it like I always do to unknown numbers. But this time I decided to take it. It turned out it was from Skaci, Kukka's computer course. The first thing that popped in my head was "Uh oh... What did she do?" :)) Skaci told me that Kukka was chosen to compete in ASEAN Cyber Kids Camp 2019 in Hanoi along with Cloudine, another student from Skaci. I was like "...HUH...?" ASEAN??? Hanoi??? Kukka???" I asked her to repeat everything from the beginning. Slowly. :)) It took a bit of a time before I told Hubster about it. Because... Well... Kukka did win the Skaci Bintaro Cyber Kids 2 years in a row but I didn't expect this to happen. 

Anyways after that surprising phone call, the commotion began. Starting from discussing whether or not we should let Kukka go to Hanoi alone (with Cloudine & 1 Skaci chaperone) to finally deciding that I do have to come along with her to Vietnam. The (next) biggest problem was right on those dates when the event was held, August 12th - 15th, Hubster's schedule was packed. Really. I saw his timeline and there's no free time at all. Finding the right person to go with us was not an easy thing. Why not just me? Well... You know :) Or not? Well... There's always a possibility that I might get seizures like...anywhere? Plane. Hotel. Tourist sites. I could even get lost!!! I still get lost in the middle of my favorites malls for god sakes! This is so annoying -__- So yeah... I really had to have a chaperone of my own :)) Now... I can't really remember how this idea came and who had it first, but after lots of well-thought-out discussions Hubster and I finally decided that I should bring Dewi along to this trip. Yes. THAT Dewi. Our maid. She's been with us a long time now which means we can trust her. Dewi knows my condition and has experiences how to treat me if anything happens. She's smart, healthy and quick. Dewi also has great initiative to do this and that. Basically she was the best person to come along with me and Kukka to Hanoi. It was Hubster who told Dewi about the news. I don't really remember exactly what Hubster said but when he did Dewi surely was very surprised and obviously happy. Next was making a passport for Dewi since she didn't have one. I had the duty to find the best deals of airlines tickets and hotel. We decided to take the same planes, Singapore Airlines, and stayed at Melia Hanoi, the same hotel with the kids and Ibu Sofie, the chaperone from Skaci Pusat. And so the adventure began.

Day 1, August 12th

When we arrived in Hanoi a guy from the event picked us up and took us to Hotel Melia Hanoi. His name is difficult for us to pronounce and too hard for me to remember :)) But he is a very nice guy. The minute we all sat comfortably in the car he gave us a box of Vietnamese local cake. They look and feel sort of like mochi. But more colorful. Anyways... After exchanging phone numbers I finally understand the chaperone's name: Dan Le. But still. I couldn't pronounce it correctly. :)) On the way to the hotel we passed by some historical buildings and famous local places. Dan Le gave us informations just like a tourist guide would do. But I didn't pay too much attention because all I wanted was take a shower and just lay down on the bed. AND SLEEP!!! :)) Yes. Those were the first things I did when I finally got in the bedroom which I shared with Dewi. Kukka stayed in the same bedroom with Bu Sofie and Cloudine as she supposed to. I told Kukka again and again that the fact I was there shouldn't change a thing. That she should...pretend that I wasn't there. Just because I tagged along didn't mean that she could sleep in my bedroom and be with me all time. I told Kukka that me being there in Hanoi with her was for my (and her Bapa's) peace of mind. That...at least I was in the same city, the same time zone, the same country with her :)) Then after an evening stroll to a restaurant named Quan An Ngon and back to the hotel,  Dewi, Kukka and I decided to go to sleep. Because we needed it. Very much. Zzz....

Day 2, August 13th

Alhamdulillah I had a very good sleep. I don't think I woke up even once which I usually do since I'm taking the necessary pills. Then at 6am in the morning, when it was time for me to take my morning pills I heard "Selamat pagi Bu..." I almost jumped out of my bed!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!! I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT DEWI WAS ON THE OTHER BED NEXT TO MINE!!!! Dewi laughed and thought I was being hilarious. Well... The shock was real!!! :))) Then it was time for breakfast. My favorite moment. My baby and I met in the restaurant. She said she had a pretty okay night sleep :) BTW this was Dewi's first time enjoying breakfast buffet in a hotel. I told Dewi that she could eat whatever she wanted which was served on the buffet. She was like "Huh??? Ngga bayar Bu???" My mistake :) I didn't explain how things are working in a hotel. I guess it was because I assumed that everybody knows :D Minutes after I told her that everything is free, the food, the drinks, the dessert and other stuff, Dewi ate a lot! :)) She basically tried every single thing in the buffet, I had to remind her that we still had 3 more mornings/breakfast times. After breakfast I saw this lady on the Buffalo Tours tourist desk. Her name is Nham Thi Van and her english name is Lucy. Lucy is probably the first and only person in Hanoi who I can understand very well. Her english is excellent! Because I could understand her very well, after I booked a half-day trip to Ha Long Bay, I decided to ask Lucy about other tourist sites in Hanoi. Thanks to Lucy, Dewi and I finally had a tourist map! :)) She circled and written all the places that we should visit. Starting from the hotel and back. Meanwhile this day was Kukka's first day in ASEAN Cyber Kids Camp in the hotel's Function Room. And since I already booked a tour for tomorrow, today was the only time Dewi and I could walk around the town and buy souvenirs. Most importantly Mom's wish: a handbag :) 

But first thing first: The Vietnamese Women's Museum. It's on my list and was worth every minute of it. After that Dewi and I went to the Red Bridge on Hoàn Kiem Lake. 

The park was beautiful but the weather was too damn hot for me to be on the famous bridge. And there were too many people taking pictures on it. Just looking at the crowd made me dizzy already. So I took some pictures with the red bridge as the background. Just for the sake of having a proof that I was at least NEAR that bridge. Right??? Right???? :)) I took some time to relax on the park bench right next to Hoan Kiem Lake, enjoying the shade under the trees, looking at the people here and there. It was really nice. I think I even managed to snooze a little bit. I can't really remember where Dewi was. I think she did manage to be on the bridge after I told her to go. She made sure I was okay  and bought me a sausage stick for snack. Then the journey continued. It was already noon and I thought it was time to look for some souvenirs. So we went to this area which is apparently quite famous for buying souvenirs. Luong Van Chan Street. I walked passed lots of souvenirs shops but none of them felt right. For example, shop A is too expensive while I considered shop B's owner to be rude. Why rude? Well... I don't want to spend my money in a shop where the owner just sit around on a leaning chair, sweating and "offered" me by pointing the stuff with words that I couldn't understand. She didn't even bother to stand up. No thank you. So I continued to walk and walk again with sweat all over my body. After about 3-4 shops I finally found this souvenir shop which has nice goods and most importantly the young lady in the shop was polite and friendly. After I looked around and finally set my heart on cute notebooks for Kukka's friends and a gorgeous handbag for Mom, it was time to bargain. The bargaining was quite tough because of the language. It was hilarious too. The three of us, the shop lady, Dewi and me used everything to be able to communicate with each other. English, Bahasa Indonesia, Bahasa Sunda, Bahasa Jawa, Vietnamese, Google Translator, fingers, hand gestures, drawings, calculator... :)))) At the end, the young lady gave up :))) I got everything I wanted and didn't have to spend too much. At least not as much as if I went to other souvenir shops. Finally my heart was at ease so I decided to go back to the hotel. After all... The next day would be Ha Long Bay. I needed all the energy I could have. I even ordered room service for dinner so I wouldn't have to move my butt :))

Day 3, August 14th
While the girls were getting ready to impress everybody with their presentation, my destination was Ha Long Bay. Ah yes... The second you hear that name you'll be thinking of this beautiful place ALLAH has created. To be honest I was a bit worried because I did read here and there that Ha Long Bay now is not as beautiful as it used to be. That there's a lot trash in the water etc. But... When I got there........ WOW. I said good luck and goodbye to Kukka and Cloudine then I got into a luxury bus from Buffalo Tours with Dewi. The bus was full of tourists #DUH. Mostly old couples. The guide's name was... Well... I only remember his english name: Ben. Ben's english is very good. Very understandable :) He's funny too. Ben explained almost every historical building we passed by. The first stop was the pearl farm on the way to the harbour. Ha Long Pearl. OH. MY. GOD. The pearls....... EXQUISITE!!!!! I really wanted them all!!!! Even the smallest one caught my eyes but of course they're very expensive. Even the tiniest earrings cost about... Oh nevermind :)) And so the journey continued. Next destination was the harbour. We got into a cruise ship, one of Genesis Cruise. I recommend it. Worth every penny. Seriously. Anyways... Our cruise stopped at Hang Luón or Luon Cave and it was time for kayaking. Yes. :)) At first I hesitated because it was a medium-sized kayak (10 adults) but then I thought "I'M HERE!!! MAKE EVERY MINUTE COUNT!". I got in with Dewi and 7 other passengers from the Genesis Cruise and 1 kayaker. We caused quite a ruckus when we got into the kayak. It turned out it wasn't that easy!!! The kayak kept swaying left and right everytime a passenger stepped it. And all of us screamed like it was the end of the world :)) Ben said some passengers did fall down into the water and that story certainly didn't make us feel any better :)) Then we all finally sat down and the kayak moved slowly. All of us listened to Ben carefully and enjoyed the breathtaking view. The kayak moved in to Surprise Cave. When we were in the cave I wondered how it would be like to spend the night inside :D Then we passed by The Monkey Island. It was beautiful AND funny. Why? Well... First of all it's beautiful because the island itself is full of lush trees in the middle of serene water. It's stunning. Aaaaaand theeeen... The monkeys! They were just...there. Minding their own business. I saw a mother with her baby. Then there were these 2 monkeys hanging from the trees. The funniest part of it was the fact that it felt more like they're the one who are watching us. Not the other way around :)) It's like "Oh hey! Humans!!! Aaaawww..." :))) 

Next was Ti Top Island where you can climb on 400 stairs and if you get to the top of the island you can get the best view down into Ha Long Bay. You CAN. Me? I COULDN'T :)) I caused quite a ruckus here. Before we got out of the cruise Ben already warned us about the 400 stairs that we have to climb to get up. He also reminded us about the heat. So if you think you couldn't make it, just stay in the cruise, enjoy the cold drink and wait for us, he said. Dewi reminded me to think it through. I felt...challenged? I said again and again that I could make it. I would just walk slowly and take my time, I said. Dewi gave up. I think not only she was worried that something might happen to me, but also IF something happened, she would be the one who is responsible for it :)) So yeah... I joined the others and took about 5 steps on the steep stairs. Did I tell you that the weather was very very hot??? Yeah... Okay. 5 stairs more or less. Then I started to shiver. My eyes were blurry and my hands were shaking. Still I thought I could make it. But then my sane self warned me something like "Hey you! If you keep doing this and somewhere in the middle of these steep stairs you get a seizure... You are a danger to other people. You fall down, the person behind you will be next and so on. There are old people here. Think about them" ................. I gave up. I told Dewi I would wait for her in the ship. As if walking back down the stairs didn't already cause a lot of trouble... Our cruise ship already got off the dock because it would be harbouring on the other side of the island!!! It took Ben, the people on the harbour, a very loud speaker and the people on the cruise to come back just to pick me up. Sorry guys... :D Oh yes! Did I already say that IT WAS VERY VERY HOT?????? :D When I got back in the cruise ship the first thing the crew did was giving me a wet towel :D GOD! At that moment all I could think about was the bathtub back at the hotel. But the experience was totally worth every drop of sweat. So while Dewi and the rest of the gang were "fried" outside, some old couples and I were enjoying cold drinks and leaning on comfortable seats. I don't know how long it took until they came back looking like they just got beaten up by sunrays LOL!!! Dewi kept saying that it was the best decision for me to go back to the ship. By the way the most annoying part of this whole trip was the lack of communication I had with Kukka. Although I already connected to the local operator, the signal was bad. All the time I was having fun I also couldn't stop thinking about my baby back in the city. After all... Today was Judging Day....  

And theeeeen finally at 16:05 I received the news from Ibu Sofie - Skaci. "Alhamdulillah dapat SILVER". WOW!!! I was sooooo surprised and obviously proud! I mean... The fact that Kukka was chosen to be one of the kids who represent Indonesia in this event was already a big prize itself. I didn't expect her and Cloudine to win an award. Not to mention Silver!!! Ibu Sofie called and I spoke with Kukka on then phone. She sounded very happy and I think the first thing she asked me was "Are you proud of me?" My precious Godsend :* I couldn't wait to go back to the hotel and shower my baby with kisses. After taking a long bath of course :D So yeah... When Dewi and I finally got back to the hotel, my baby came to my room. I hugged and kissed her like crazy! And of course. The most important part of this winning thing was the fact that if she won any prizes, her beloved Bapa would buy her Robux -_- She reminded me again and again about this. #SIGH 

Anyways since it was the last night in Hanoi, I decided to get an extra bed for Dewi and pushed the twin beds together so that Kukka could sleep with me. While I decided to stay in the room and rest, Dewi asked for permission to go out. She said "Kapan lagi Buu..." :)) I think she came back around 11pm. We flew back to Jakarta the next day and alhamdulillah we arrived at home safe and sound. Healthy and happy :) 

#30DayFlowerChallenge

About a month ago or so I realized that I’ve always wanted to do some kind of a month challenge. 30 days of this, 30 days of that. I did it once or twice but for some reasons I never finished it. This time though… I DID IT!!!! I DID 30 DAYS FLOWER CHALLENGE!!! YEAY!!!! FINALLY!!!! :)))

It started when I was Pinteresting. I found this pin and I thought “Hey! Here’s something special to do to celebrate Kukka’s birthday in July! Kukka. Flower. 30 Days Flower Challenge. That would be nice and fun to do!” And since now I have an Apple Pencil I thought I could use it for something useful. I also thought that now drawing with an Apple Pencil maybe it would feel… You know?! Different? Maybe it’ll make the drawing more fun and practical? All I have to bring whenever I go are just my iPad and the pencil. No drawing book, pencils, watercolors, brushes etc. So yeah… Using the Apple Pencil and the Paper application, I started the 30 Days Flower Challenge and posted every drawing on my instagram (@farika). But since drawing isn’t exactly my talent, I googled lots of cool drawings that I like, took the ideas from them and then made some changes here and there. Like for example adding my…personality into every drawing so to speak :p It was fun! Although it felt like I was being chased by a deadline but still. It gave me some kind of happiness and the second I drew the last line it felt rrrrreeeeally good. Relaxing. Soothing. I remember I told dr. Rocksy about this current hobby. And like always, if it gives me pleasure just do it, she said :)

Although I did miss a day or two but I’ve successfully drew different flowers everyday. If I missed one day of drawing, I finished 2 days of flowers on the next day. I promised myself that I will finish the 30 flowers. By the end of July or not!!! And finally… I finished Day 30!!! I’m proud of what I have accomplished. They might not be 100% original but still :) I have some favorites. I also have some drawings which whenever I look at them again I’d think “Damn. I can do better than this!” :)) Oh! Something annoyingly funny happened when I was checking all the drawings. I noticed that I actually missed 1 day!!! I checked again and again and yes. I missed 1 day of flower which was Day 14: Gerbera :)) So just before I blogged about this whole 30 Day Flower Challenge thing, I had to draw Gerbera flower. Good thing I noticed it just before I showed off my flowers everywhere :)) 

Here they are. The 30 flowers I've drawn from July (- early August), inspired by lots of very talented painters around the world :)

Day 1 - 18

Day 19 - 30

I'm pretty proud of myself. My favorites are Day 11: Dahlia because it felt like it took forever to finish it :)) But I had super fun and when the flower was finished I felt very thrilled. Second fave is Day 12: Mother's Day Bouquet. Why? Because when I was doing it I was thinking about Mom the whole time :) Third fave is the last day, Day 30: Inspired By Another Participant. In my case the flowers were not exactly inspired by another participant. But it was inspired by my favorite Finnish brand Marimekko. 

And Kukka... These flowers are dedicated to you, my precious Godsend. :* 

Updated: I showed all the flowers to Kukka. She likes lots of the drawings but her most favorite is Day 20:

Kukka: My favorite is Pansy.

Dear Kukka: HAPPY ELEVENTH BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Eleven years ago an angel came down to brighten our life up.

Beautiful, caring, funny, mischievous and smart.

All lightness that can make the gloomiest heart instantly bright.

Along with a pack of toughness to make everything just right.

Her curiousity turns every day an adventure.

Lots of questions about this and that.

Loads of opinions about who, why, when, where and what.

One thing is certain because it has always been there and will forever stay.

It's our endless love for this blossoming flower.

Our precious Godsend.

Our Kukka Aiko Farza.

Dear Kukka: Live It Loud!

CONGRATULATIONS!

Today you're officially one of Sekolah Alam Tangerang's 6th graders! One of the big kids. 5th grade was quite a ride. It surely did have its ups and downs. Now Bapa and Bubu are looking forward to join the ride with you on the last grade of elementary school. Am I worried? To tell you the truth, yes :)) But I have faith in you. As long as you keep your promise not to be lazy, pay attention and ... Well just read this post again! Dear Kukka: Please Learn Your Lesson. You know what things I want to say. Bapa will probably add some more later. In private.

Anyways, being a 6th grader (and tomorrow 11 years old tween, In shã Allãh!!) will have its differences, more or less. Surely you will have more responsibilities, from - at school, surrounding and home. This might sound cliché but just be the best of yourself and show it to everybody that you do enjoy the ride! Ask questions when you have doubts and confusions. Share your happiness and help others who need it. Have lots of friends inside and outside the school and do spend time with them. Be nice and always be polite to your teachers. Be brave and don't be scared to be different. Live the life you're excited about. Have goals and try your best to reach them. 

And baby, remember this. Most importantly you always have me. To get some answers, to share your feelings, to show your excitements or just to be with. No words needed. Ich liebe Dich, Mein Ein und Alles. Good luck and have fun!