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To us.

To health and happiness.

To you and I, love.

ALLAH willing.

Dear Kukka: Congratulations!

Throw your graduation caps in the air!! You are now officially a first-grader!!

YOU! 

My SiBaiyi! 

My baby girl! 

My chubby cheeks! 

My love, my life, my love of my life!

Oh, my, it's sooo surreal! I knew you would grow up but not this fast! It seems like it was just yesterday when I took you to your first day of preschool. And now you're graduating from Kindergarten already! Next month I'll be taking you to the "big kids" class. That's how you are referring to the Primary kids. The "kaka" or the "big kids". Well, what do you know... You are a kaka now yourself, kiddo :) No, not high school yet. I don't understand why you are so eager to get to high school. Almost everyday you asked me "Am I going to high school after the holiday??" ELEMENTARY, Kukka. And then you still have to go to junior high first (THANK GOD!). 

I have so many prayers for you. Too many to write actually. So I will just keep it to myself for now and tell ALLAH all about it later :) But I do want to say something to you. Nothing new, really. You probably are bored hearing about it already. But.... Here goes...

I'm so proud of you, my darling girl. 

So so proud. I feel sooooo much pride it feels like my chest is about to explode. I'm proud of what you have achieved and what you have become. 

I love you, my precious godsend. 

So so much. I love you sooooo much it feels like I need to invent a new word for love. Because what I feel for you is so much more. 

And I am ready. I'm ready to take you to your new adventure. I'm ready to guide you whenever you need me to. I'm ready to give you hints about how to handle different types of people you're going to meet. I'm ready to show you more about life. Just don't ask me about Math. Ever. Other than that, bring it on! 

Let's have more fun, babycakes! :*

Dear ALLAH

Sometimes I wonder... 

If I stopped wishing for my dreams to come true, 

does it mean that I don’t want them anymore? 

If I stopped asking for certain things to change, 

does it mean that I don’t care if they remain the same?

If I stopped praying for better things to come, 

does it mean that I’m not scared by the bad ones?

If I stopped begging all together, 

does it mean that I’m giving up?

While my heart says, and I do think it's true...

I stop wishing because I realize that 

what I think is right for me, might not be the best for me after all. 

I stop asking because I realize that 

You know what I need, what I should have and what I should be doing.

I stop praying because I realize that 

whatever happens, it’s for my own good. 

I stop begging because I realize that 

You know I’m actually not giving up. 

I'm simply surrendering myself to You. 

Only You. 

Because it's Your love that matters

Because it's Your words that matter

Because it's Your blessing that matters

No one else's. 

Only Yours. 

How To Break A Kid

I think the cruelest kind of people are the one who hurt children. They deserve the most terrible punishment the world has to offer. They are the most obvious cowards and they must be mentally disturbed. It’s easy to judge a person who hurt children and then leave the aftermath scars visible to the eyes. But how about people (read: parent) like me? 

A parent could never hurt her child, right? Keeping her child safe is what a mother does. Sure we can’t create a perfect world for our children and there’s no such thing as a perfect parent. But I keep telling myself “TRY. HARD.” It shouldn’t be...too hard... Should it? 

It made me thinking... About that time I yelled at my daughter just because she felt unlocking the door was hard. I accused her for not willing to try harder. And then there was a time when she saw me having a heated argument with somebody. She heard my loud and angry voice and it made her afraid. I also thought about that time when she saw me crying. I let her see the vulnerable side of me and therefore I made her really, really sad. She cried beside me. 

Because I have hurt her... 

And then there are overprotective parents, home wreckers who break up families, parents who always say yes, parents who always say no, cheaters who consciously damage their families and their children's souls, parents who give their kids everything they want, pregnant mothers who hate their unborn babies, grandmothers who say A is prettier than B, grandfathers who favor one grandchild to another, parents who push their kids and don’t accept if they’ve reached their limits. 

It’s tough being a kid. And it’s very easy to break one. 

Is It Just Me?

Yesterday was my precious Godsend’s year end school performance. Like any other of her performances, it brought tears of pride in my eyes. But there was something sad about it too. 

This last month I’ve been feeling melancholy. Especially in the mornings and before bedtime. You see, since she was 3 years old, my morning routine always involves waking her up with kisses until she opens half of her eyes and then me carrying her to the bathroom and sat her down on the toilette. It was fine until I started having back pains and finally noticed that she already weighed 20 kilos :)) 

But it wasn’t her weight that made me sad. I distinctively remember that it was her legs that first stroked me. My baby’s legs are not chunky anymore. They’re getting longer and leaner. Sure her chubby cheeks and bottom are still there. But the juicy “meat” that used to hang around on her calves are gone and seem to be replaced by strong muscles. And Allah’s willing, this July she’ll be 6 years old. She’s growing fast. Simply too fast...

On good days I’m thrilled. I keep imagining how awesome my days will be having a big daughter by my side. We will go to the movies, sipping coffee, shopping, traveling, discussing about books and possibly debating about who and what is cool. I imagine my hands will be full, having to raise such a smart and witty girl. I’m preparing myself to be criticized by Kukka about many things like how I cut my hair or my choice of wardrobes. She might be embarrassed by my love for hunky movie stars and hard core music taste. I’m pretty sure Kukka will have mixed feelings when she reads my blog posts about her. And she’ll be probably extra annoyed by my obsession of taking-flaunting her pictures all over the place :D

But on “bad” days... Ah those days are dreadful... My eyes get teary and my heart achy. It seems that having spend 20h/day on school days and 24h/day on weekends together, is not enough. Not enough at all. To think that soon I will "lose" her to school trips or vacations with friends... Or college!! Is this how a mother has to feel for the rest of her life??? Huaaaaaaa ;((( 

And then the moment will come when I have to share, reveal and confess about things. Things that might upset her or break her gentle heart. About my life, hers and ours. About the people we know, knew, love and loved. The thought that she might be angry or judgmental about my decisions terrifies me. She might even love me less. When I think about these possibilities, I instantly wish that she could stay 6 forever...

But then usually my gloomy moments are abruptly distracted by a sudden scream, calling my name 10 times in a row. Or by a needy whine. Or a shocking question. Or a hilarious statement. And most of the time I’m simply slapped back to the present by adoring eyes and a loving hug. It’s like ALLAH SWT is reminding me to enjoy the present rather then worrying too much about the future. And most importantly I feel like He’s telling me to start noticing that I’m doing quite well and that my little girl is the living proof of it. 

Kukka loves to make me laugh and she enjoys to make me proud. She opens up to me and likes to share about her feelings. She apologizes for her mistakes and thank me for the little things I do for her. She's sad to see me sad and always comfort me with pats and hugs. And I'm sure in no time she'll be the one who protect and defend me :)

I guess instead of tormenting myself about the indefinite future, I should just keep doing what I already do best in raising Kukka. And with ALLAH SWT on my side I'm sure I can do it even better. 

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Trauma Drama

I was listening to the radio while driving home after dropping Kukka off at her school this morning. The radio hosts had a very interesting guest. A hypnotherapist. She was talking about how a person who suffered from a mental block can be cured with hypnotherapy. She told a story about a female patient who couldn’t get pregnant after years of marriage. I didn’t get how this woman got the idea of undergoing a hypnotherapy but she did. So the therapist hypnotized her and off she went down the memory lane. 

She “arrived” at her past. A very very old past. When she was still in her mother’s womb. She remembered that her father cheated on her mother when she was still in the womb. Her mother was obviously depressed and furious at her father. The mother was so disappointed, she didn’t want to have anything to do with the father. And she despised the fact that she was carrying the cheater’s child. So, the mother kept hitting her swollen pregnant tummy and repeatedly said “I hate you! I hate you! I don’t want you! I don’t want you!”

Weeks later the patient got pregnant. Apparently because she already let go of the past and made the necessary chemicals in her body “healthier and happier”. But after 2 weeks she had a miscarriage. So she went to hypnotherapy again. This time she regained the memory of her parents having a fight in front of her. And her father pointing at her while yelling at the mother “It’s only because of this child that we are still together!”. 

And then she understood. All her life she’s been feeling unwanted, unloved, forever taken for granted. So subconciously she also didn’t want any child of her own. But again, I’m sure after extensive hypnotherapies, she successfully forgave and let go of her past. She became pregnant again and gave birth to a child. 

......

I sat still inside the car for 10 minutes. I couldn’t stop thinking how awfully powerful the human mind can be. How a single terrifying event can shape a person and the memory of it ultimately affects how she lives her life. How bad words, which had been heard and buried way inside the brain for a very long time, can still force every chemical and energy to react badly in the body. How the feeling of unwanted can be so destructive, mentally and physically. Hers and others. 

I think that female patient is truly blessed. Not only did she finally get a child, she also doesn’t let her awful past define her anymore. Therefore I congratulate her and I wish for her continous well-being. It takes an indefinite amount of strength to forgive and to let go. I want to tell her that she’s a very strong and courageous woman.  

And for that, I envy her.   

Dear Kukka: The Reason

It was just one of those nights before bedtime. Out of the blue you asked me:

"Why did you want me as your kid? Why did ALLAH give me to you? 

Why did you want me, Bubu?"

It was just a simple and honest question, coming out from the most innocent mind. But I was completely stunned. Girl, you really did catch me off guard, here! I forgot how long it took for me to finally answer your question. I remember I laughed and hugged you so tight and you became irritated, impatient and you struggled to get out of my arms. Finally I said something like:

"Because I wanted to have someone who I could love sooooo much 

and that someone would love me back just as much."

Were you satisfied? Of course not. You sat on the bed and looked at me with a straight face. I could see another million of questions in your eyes. And I was secretly wishing that you would just go to sleep. And you did. But not me...

Since that night I couldn't stop thinking about it. Yeah... Why was it exactly? Why did I spent nights and days, praying if not beg, to ALLAH, for giving me the chance to have you? Why did I want a child so bad?

I remember I was so in love with your beloved Bapa. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. And because I loved Bapa that much, I also wanted to have another person who was a part of me and a part of him. I was thinking “Oh wouldn't it be nice to have 2 persons who I could love lavishly for the rest of my life?!?” I think that was my first main and most shallow reason... There were obviously a thousand more. But I just realized it now that all of them are plain selfish. Anyway, I never stopped praying for you to come, in whatever ways and conditions.

4 years later... Well...look who finally came :)

A lot has happened since then. Good and bad. Things changed, for the better and the worst. My wishes, my prayers, my goals, my reasons of being and our life together have changed. And naturally, so does my answer to your epic question. 

My dear, my most precious girl,

I think it was never about whether I wanted you or not. It just so happened that I did want you very very very very much! And ALLAH did send you to me. But I think it was more about what I would do and what I would become afterwards. 

Would I be a better wife to your father and he a better husband to me so we could be the best parents for you? Would I be a good mother to you? What kind of values and life experiences would I give and share to you? If I had the privilege to choose, would I be the one who take care of you or the kind that let others do the "job" for me? How strong could I be for you? How far would I go to protect you? And most importantly, what kind of person would I be personally, for me?

If I was given the worst life scenarios, would I pick the right tool to survive? Would I pick the easy way or would I chose the hardest? And would I be on the right path if ALLAH gave me life's gold and glitter? Would I stay humble? Would I be a better individual? Would I at least try to be? Define "better"? Well, the usual standards. Devoted, honest, hard working, loyal, sincere, helpful, caring, brave, patient, smart, humble, careful, happy, fun, faithful wife/daughter/mother... Individual. 

See what you’re doing here to me, babycakes? You’re only 5 yet you already push me to think about things I might never would've thought before. And in a way you also force me to act and live as a better person. Now... Am I? Well I’d like to think that I most definitely am. And I believe that’s why you are here. 

ALLAH loved me so much He made my life easy 

and gave me something visible to hold on to. 

You. 

ALLAH SWT. sent you to give me lessons and choices. 

And through you I’ve learned a love that is grander, a will that is stronger 

and a heart that is braver. 

And I’ve chose to be and stay better, stronger, wiser and smarter. 

ALLAH SWT. is being too kind and merciful that while our life keeps changing, 

He had sent you to be, by far, 

the constant good in my life. 

So good that I should never have any reason to derail. 

No reason at all. 

Allah says

My girl is a curious one. I don’t know about other kids but mine asks questions like you won’t believe. No, really.

My girl is an overly sensitive one. I don’t know about other kids but mine says things she’s not supposed to or could possibly know (yet). 

Sometimes her questions are so simple. But many are too complicated for me to answer. To make my life easier and to make a special bond between her and our belief since early age, I always try to elaborate the existence of Allah SWT. in my answers or statements. Like for example, instead of saying “I will be angry at you if you don’t finish your meal.”, I say “Allah will be very happy and proud of you if... Allah will say Hmmm Kukka deserves a big chunk of chocolate after her meal.”. Or one day she asked "Why is there a sun?", I said "Because Allah said Sun, shine! And help Kukka to grow tall, healthy, and strong so she can do those summersaults she loves so much." 

I'm happy to say that it's working really nicely. Because one time she asked me "Why was I inside your tummy? Did Allah buy me at the baby store and then make you eat me so I can be inside your tummy?". Sometimes it's so hilarious I couldn't do anything but laugh. Like our last night pillow talk:

Kukka : Bubu, why am I a girl? Why am I not a boy?

Me : Because...Allah said you’d make a shalihah woman when you grow up. A woman with a beautiful face and a very very beautiful heart. So Allah decided to make you a girl but with the energy of a healthy and energetic boy!

Kukka : Hahahaha! And why am I alone? Why can’t I have any brothers or sisters? I want 2 sisters and 1 brother!

Me : *blacked out*

Kukka : Why, Bubu?? Why am I alone??

Me : Because......when Allah was about to put you inside my womb, Allah said to me “Bubu, I’m going to give you a daughter. Just one daughter. And she’s going to have your whole heart. I don’t want you to share your heart with another child. Your heart is just for Kukka. Because this one is a very very special girl. Okay, Bubu? You have to love her and take care of her with all your heart.” Allah said that and of course I immediately said yes. 

Kukka : Hahahahah that’s so weird!! But why??

Me : Because Allah sent you to be my guardian angel. You are my godsend, remember? You’re here to be a reminder for me so I will never ever forget to thank Allah for everything. You're here to be the person who I love unconditionally, no matter what. Allah said to you “Kukka, be Bubu’s daughter. A shalihah one. Love her, take care of her, defend her. Be her reason to live and love only because of Me. Make her remember to say My name, all the time. Now, Super Kukka, awake!” And THAT’S how Allah made you Super hero Kukka and then put you inside my womb.

Kukka : WHOA!!! So cool!!! And then I was in your womb and I was swimming and then the doctor cut your tummy and pulled me out. 

Me : Yes! :)))

*silence*

Kukka : But Bubu... Why don’t I have any wings?? Angels have wings, you know. 

Me : ... Pssst... Did you hear that?? Allah said it’s time to sleep. No more talking. Good night, babycakes... *covering my mouth with a pillow so she won't hear me laugh*

And that’s ladies and gents, is how I get out of conversations gone wild :)))

One or None

I have one child. Only one. And no, I don’t have any plans to add another. Unless of course Allah SWT. decides otherwise. But no. My one and only child is Kukka. So please stop asking or telling me to have another. I know your intentions might be well. But stop. Just stop. 

First of all, it’s rude. Adding another child or not is a private matter. You don’t know what a couple have to go through to have a child. You don’t know why a couple decide not to have another child or one at all for that matter. You don’t know whether there are any complications between them. You don’t know about their health conditions. You just don’t know and you don’t have any right to know. By asking this question you make the couple, or at least one of them, feel vulnerable. Some may even feel obligated to answer. 

Second, if “Kapan Kukka dikasih adik?” is your idea of basa-basi, you should stop right there. Seriously. I don’t need and never been a fan of small talks. If you don’t have anything say to me, then don’t say anything. Keep calm and walk away. I won’t be offended. If you are truly my friend, you will have many other things to say to me.

Finally, I strongly believe that not all mothers deserve to have their children. Having one only defines you as a person who could give birth to a child. But not necessarily a mother. A mother to me is a person who raises you, nurtures you, feeds your body and soul, listens to you, scolds you for your best interests, loves you to the point where it looks more like showing off, and protects you with her life without second thoughts. 

I only have one child but I dedicate my life to her. I’m giving her my time, my strength, my energy, my thoughts, my values, my knowledge, my fortune, my pride, my love. Unconditionally. I celebrate her well-being and I work hard to fix her flaws. I’m doing my best to raise Allah’s precious amanah. Meanwhile there are children who are practically raised by their nannies or gadgets, un/intentionally ignored by their parents, working or stay-at-home ones, rich or poor. If you can’t or won’t raise one child as best as you can, why bother to have another one or two or even three? 

I rather focus on raising Kukka so she can be a valuable person, to herself and others. I might not be the best mom in the world but Allah knows how hard I try every single day. I prefer to have ONE shalihah daughter than 2 or 3 children whom I can not raise well. Children who could grow into adults with no hearts and brains. Adults who betray, hurt, start wars or steal from other people. 

I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know what my daughter will do or be in the next 15 years. What life-changing decisions she will make and what kind of chaos she will create. But I do know that, in shaa Allah, every little thing I’m giving her right now will not go to waste. One day it will shape her into the person I wish she will become. A good one. 

Amin. 

Good morning, Tooth Fairy

Yesterday was a big day for my precious Godsend and I. She lost her first baby tooth. And how convenient! It happened just when she started to be fascinated by the Tooth Fairy from the movie The Rise of the Guardians. She had been asking me again and again with the same question for days: “When will my tooth fall out? If it falls, will the Tooth Fairy come to my house?” 

Well, it happened. So this morning I put 5 Rp 1000,- coins and 5 chocolate coins under her pillow. Each represents the year of her age, 5 years old (and 3 months). I woke her up and whispered that she should check to see if the Tooth Fairy came last night. Still with her eyes closed she lifted up her pillow. And then I saw that cute mouth of hers curved into a faint happy smile, still with extremely sleepy eyes :)) She looked at them, counted, took a chocolate coin and grinned at me 

“Can I eat this now???” 

OF COURSE! Why would she care about the Rp 5000 worth of coins??? Chocolate coins are sooo much better :)))

Dear Kukka: Baby Tooth Out!

Oh my God oh my God oh my God!!! It finally happened!! Today! This morning! In the car! While we were on our way to school! While you were enjoying you crackers and cheese! It really did fall out! That sweet little baby tooth you’ve been pushing back and forth with your chubby fingers. It fell out! 

Congratulations, babycakes! Losing your first baby tooth is a big thing. It means you’re one small step closer to being a big kid. Just like you’ve always wanted :) 

But remember and please, please, please do understand that to me, you will always be a baby. MY baby :* 

Dear Kukka: Please Remind Me

The last couple of days I’ve been contemplating about what kind of a mother I want to be for you, my dear child. The best answer I could come up with so far is... Well... The best kind, naturally. But how? 

By being your best friend? By being your “boss”? By giving you the ultimate freedom to choose? By putting restrictions wherever danger could possibly occur? By telling you about absolutely everything? Or by protecting you with lies? 

I am very aware that every angle has its consequences. I realize there will always be someone, something, somewhere, somehow that can hurt you. After all, I can’t protect you from...life. But I’m willing to try as hard as I can. And these are the things I can do and have come up so far:

I will never underestimate your feelings nor your intelligence in figuring out things about your personal life and ours.

I will never force you to do the things that I myself can't or won't do. 

I will be truthful to you and will never answer your questions with lies. 

White lies, black lies. No. No lies. 

I will warn you about the evil people and reveal the persons whom you can trust. 

I will respect you, as my only child and as an independent person. 

I will let you decide how you want to live your life. 

I will always show and remind you the right path to choose, Allah’s path. 

I will always try to put myself in your shoes, at that time and in the future. 

I will always make sure you realize, remember and apologize for all the mistakes you make. Big and small. To yourself and others. 

I will always praise you for all the right things you will say and do. 

I will accept and apologize when you tell me that I skip a thing or two which are stated in this list. Intentionally or accidentally.

I promise that we can always talk to each other, 

with minimum judgement and maximum understanding. 

About everything.

Most importantly I will always tell you how much I love you. 

And how much Allah SWT. loves you even more. 

Always. 

The Truth Is...

....... 

Quite painfully funny, actually. 

You know... You always have this feeling that something is wrong and then one day you find out exactly what it is... And then you get furious. But strangely at the same time you kind of feel relieved too. Because you also know that the wrong has a big part in making everything right at the end. So the wrong has become some sort of a justification about everything you have fucked up in the past. That’s when you begin to accept the wrong. Not forgiving. Just accepting. And then you begin to feel nothing about it. You become ignorant. And numb. Numbness, to me is more dangerous than hatred. But that's another story in another time to tell...

Being lied to sucks. Big time. No matter how painful a thousand truths are, they still feel gentler to the heart than a single lie. I have learned this the hard way. Too hard maybe. The lies have shaped me into the person I was or probably in certain ways, still. But without those lies and the life experiences I’ve gained from them, I would never have become the person I am today. 

The better me. 

Unforgiven

Unexpected. 
Unwelcome. 
Unwanted. 
Unloved. 

It simply is... 

Unforgivable.

I love you. Goodbye.

Papah & I, taken 2 months ago at RS Harum Medika

So many "if only"s 

And unfulfilled wishes

Too many regrets

And words left unsaid

Not enough memories
And too little time

For once I truly understand why some people wish they 

could turn back the time

For once I really get 

what I had 

But sadly not until it was 

too late

Not until he is gone

Yet I know I am and also will forever be grateful 

Because Allah gave me a last chance to be with him

I held his hands, kissed his cheeks 

Whispered prayers and I love yous to his ears

Until the very end

Goodbye, Papah

Allah loves you too much, He wants you back

I love you too but I love it even more knowing that 

you are now in the most wonderful place

By Allah SWT.'s side

Amin.

Dear Kukka: Happy 5th Birthday!

Whenever I feel weak

I look at your energetic self

Whenever I feel angry

I learn from your purity and innocence 

Whenever I feel unworthy

I drown myself in your hugs 

Whenever I feel unloved

I hear your sweet voice whispering “I love you, Bubu”

I am strong. I am calm. I am worthy. I am definitely loved. 

And it’s all because Allah SWT. have sent me an angel, exactly 5 years ago today. 

Happy 5th birthday, Precious Godsend!

You are my pillar of strength and my inspiration

My pride and my joy

My love of my life

My unconditional love and never-ending prayers are with you. 

Forever and always.

Malang I'm in Love

Let me begin this long post with the word: Wow.

I was arranging a trip to Legoland for Kukka when my very well-informed friends told me about Batu Secret Zoo in Batu, Malang. They told me that it was supposedly a very nice zoo. Different from the ones we knew in Jakarta or even Taman Safari. So I started to google. And my amazement started when I first opened the website. Long story short, Legoland can wait. I want to take my animal-lover daughter to this zoo.

Our trip began on July, 1st. The minute we arrived in Malang I already fell in love with the fresh, clean and cool air. They were right. It was cold in Malang. Cooler than Puncak or even Bandung? From the airport we drove straight to our hotel in Batu, The Singhasari Resort. Great place. It would’ve been perfect if the food is at least on good level :D 

That evening we visited Batu Night Spectacular. Another recommendation from another well-informed friend. Lucky me :) Batu Night Spectacular is like, borrowing my mom’s words: “Pasar Malam”. Don’t expect “modern” things around here. The rides are quaint but they seem to be in good conditions. From rollercoasters to the standard merry-go-round. Kukka’s first ride here was the Crazy House. Nauseating for me :p But her favorite part must be the lanterns. The lantern park is probably the most “modern” part of BNS :D You can see lots of lantern with different shapes all over a well-trimmed and clean garden. From a hot air baloon to Mickey Mouse. I’d love to sit on one of the park benches. But it was getting a bit late and Kukka looked already sleepy. We had fun and we drove back to the hotel feeling happy. The cool evening air added value to our visit. So, yes. Batu Night Spectacular is definitely a must-visit. 

The next morning I was once again in awe. It was a beautiful sunny morning with blue sky and cool wind. Somehow it reminded me of Europe... Our view from the hotel was spectacular.

No filter added!! 

It was definitely a great day to visit a zoo. So after a morning swim, off we went to Batu Secret Zoo. 

The view from our pool-access room

It is located in Jawa Timur Park 2, along with Museum Satwa. How was BSZ??? They should’ve named it Batu Spectacular Zoo! Seriously! I would never have thought that there is such a place here! Have they been keeping this place a secret??? Hence the name??? This place reminded me of The Berliner Zoo in Germany! Well, minus the huge forest-like area that is :D But seriously! Batu Secret Zoo is modern, clean and big with animals who actually move and make sounds! The monkeys are screaming, the lemurs replying and the tigers are roaring. They look fit, no too-foul smell anywhere and clean. No skinny tigers in sight, alhamdulillah :) My favorite was the majestic looking Siberian tiger. He (she?) is HUGE!!! And it seemed like I could almost stroke his fur by simply putting my hand on the glass cage... My face was *THIS* close to the Bengal tiger too! On the White Tiger’s area the floor is made of glass so you can watch the tigers playing beneath your feet! Wicked, huh?! 

My Godsend’s favorite was probably Dumbo, a name she gave to a rather small elephant. Probably a toddler? :)) I don’t know why but that elephant was alone. It turned out that Kukka was worried about it being lonely. Rain came in the afternoon. Lucky us we were in the foodcourt. We stayed there for quite a while. Hubster even had a snooze with his head on the table. When the rain stopped Kukka immediately asked to visit Dumbo again. So we had to drive our e-bikes back to the elephant area (Yes, we rented e-bikes! The place was too huge for us to walk through :p). When she saw Dumbo again, she said “Good. You’re fine. You’re doing okay. It’s not raining anymore. You’re not lonely anymore.” Sweetness overload. :) We had a rather hard time to ask Kukka to go out of BSZ. She’s an avid animal lover in a very nice zoo. So...yeah... :)) But it was getting dark. And we still had another place to visit. 

Next to BSZ is the Museum Satwa. Now that’s another cool place. A modern looking museum with giant dinosaurs’ skeleton and cool and very dramatic dioramas. No old-smell included like in Museum Zoologi Bogor, obviously :D Being in Museum Satwa somehow reminded me of the movie Night at the Museum :))) Nothing much to say about Museum Satwa other than the above because... Well, it’s a museum. You know what to expect in there. 

That evening we decided to have dinner in the famous Melati Restaurant in Hotel Tugu. The food was delicious indeed. My biggest regret was finding out that the hotel is said to be very creepy (read: historical). I would’ve took a walk around the hotel if I knew it. So yes, I missed the famous creepy painting of Oei Hui Lan and other spooky corners of Hotel Tugu :(

Jatim Park 1 was on the list for the next destination. Unfortunately it was raining and the sky was rather gloomy. But when we arrived in Jatim Park 1 the rain had stopped. Now, Jatim Park 1 claims to be Taman Belajar dan Rekreasi. It was indeed :D It’s like visiting TMII, right to the atmosphere and the quality of the architecture. Now, my daughter was not impressed. It’s totally understandable. Like for example, looking at the puppets in Indonesian traditional clothing gave even me the creeps! Their faces look like...mummies :D The whole park was clean though and the science area was interesting. Just a bit smelly at the Baby Zoo area. But to be honest, I will skip this park if we ever visit Batu again :D 

So, when Kukka asked to go to Batu Secret Zoo again, we said yes. But this time we just followed Kukka’s “order” on where to go and when to stop. After all, we’ve already seen them all. I think :D Oh, on our second visit, we finally managed to take lots of pictures with a super cute and cuddly white tiger cub. As a catlover, this was my personal dream-come-true! I wish I could bring him home with me. I'm sure he will get along with our 3 Maine Coons at home :D

So on the 3rd day we had to leave Batu and headed to Malang, the city and stayed at Harris Hotel. We had dinner at another well-known place, Toko Oen. The whole place brought me back to my grandmother’s old house in Jl. Sam Ratulangi, Menteng. I had Wienerschnitzel and it tasted quite good for a Rp 50.000 steak. But it wasn’t like I’ve expected. Hubster said it must be famous because of the atmosphere and the vintage look of the place rather than the food. 

On July 4th we had to go back home. It turned out 4 days 3 nights wasn’t enough to explore Malang. We didn’t get the chance to see the waterfalls, ECO Green Park, the apple trees etc and we also didn’t have time to try out the famous culinary places :D Maybe next time... Alhamdulillah, the holiday was a blast. We're bringing home one happy Cookie :) 

And if we do ever visit Malang and Jatim Park again, there are things that I will remember, such as:

Bring proper jackets, scarfs and long pants/jeans because it’s C.O.L.D!! Rain jacket for the little one and umbrellas. Buy Paket Sakti from the very first day. 1 ticket, valid for 2 days for Jatim Park 1, Jatim Park 2, ECO Green Park and Batu Night Spectacular. Google more and put all the must-visit culinary places in Notes. 

Oh, and don’t forget to pack extra patience. It’s definitely needed because the people here don’t seem to understand the concept of queuing :D

Peace out. 

37 and My Other Half

Let's blow my candles together, Precious Godsend.

Because you are the one who makes my heart smile 

and my life matters.

Let's live and love! 

You and I.

Always :*