What Did I Do Wrong

This is a question I often ask myself whenever an unfortunate event occurs in my life. Especially when I think that I’ve done nothing wrong. Don’t you dare say that I’m one of those people who never think of themselves as the guilty part. I never say I’m never wrong. And I never push anybody to take part of my mistakes to make me less guilty. 

It’s ironic, really. Just when you thought you’ve done almost everything by the book so that you could make a new clean start, something bad happened. And most of the time, it’s because of somebody else’s fuck-ups. Yet the sky slams down exactly on your head. Not his or hers. 

I detest irony. I think it’s one of the many things in life that makes a person just want to quit. It’s one of the reason why a person thinks “Why bother?”. Like, why bother being good if you’re going to be treated bad anyway? Why bother being honest if you’re going to be lied constantly anyway? Why bother being faithful if you're going to be abandoned anyway? 

Sometimes I do think that the best way to survive in this world is to think only for yourself. Being selfish and ocassionaly cruel are the keys of survival. Act like you have nothing to lose and live absolutely carefree. Life seems easier and much more fun if you don’t give a fuck. 

But then again, is that the kind of value you want to teach to your child? 

Dear Kukka: It's about love

People say that if you loved someone, you would and could talk about the person you love every second in a day. Imagine if that love would last for a life time. It means that you’d be gushing about your loved one until the day you die. 

That is exactly what’s happening to me. 

As you know, you’re not the only one who has new friends over the past six months. As you’ve gained a lot of new friends in your new school, so did I. “The Moms”, you called them. You know, those are the people I’m spending my time with when you’re at school, whom I have breakfast with, share my thoughts and swap stories. Yes, sweetie. Every day :)) Sometimes you would ask me what I do with The Moms. Besides having a quite massive amount of breakfast and caffeine intake (on my side), stalking celebrities on Instagram and shop things which have the price range of Rp 50 thousand to Rp 2mio, we also do a lot of talking. About what, you asked me one day. Unfortunately there are some subjects that I can’t share to you just yet due to its inappropriateness. But today I just realized that most of the time, obviously, inevitably, free-willingly, naturally, and happily, we talk about our kids. 

About you. 

Like today, for instance. Again, for the gazillionth times, I was telling the story about how you came into my life. The process, the waiting, the hoping, the tears, the laughters, the whole ordeal. And you know, every time I’m reliving those moments, the more I realized how lucky I am that Allah have decided to send you to me. My closest friends once told me it all happened because I was commited and strong-willed. 

Yes, I wanted you. Very much. I wanted you so bad, it hurt. The pain of wanting you was more excruciating than all the things I had to go through to be able to have you. Oh baby, I would go through those things over and over again if I had to, in a second! Oh yeah, that’s me I guess. If I wanted something so bad, I just had to have it. Sounds familiar? :p

Well, look at what my persistence has lead me to?! Of course, to the most wonderful child in the/my world. You are the pot of gold at the end of my rainbow after a stormy day. The happiness molecules that were streaming in my blood when I had you inside my tummy must have been good for you. Because here you are, all happy and healthy, smart and cheerful, caring and lovable. My shalihah little Godsend :)

My love for you is big and my will to protect you is also as enormous. I have the size of strength and courage I never knew existed in me. And with Allah’s permission, I will use them to keep you safe and to make sure that you will get your rights and all the things you deserve. Whatever it takes. My own life, if necessary. So that you can value your life and live it to the fullest. 

Babycakes, there will come a time when you probably wouldn’t understand some of the things that I did or do or will do. Some might look unreasonable or even somewhat hurtful to you. But I hope one day you could open your eyes, mind and heart. I sure hope that one day you will realize that this... All of THIS is about you. Always.

Because when I'm with you, I'm living. Anywhere else, I'm merely surviving. 

Knock, Knock

There are only a few houses that I love and never get tired of visiting. My parents’ and my siblings’. Those are the places where I feel genuinely welcomed, loved, happy and somewhat peaceful. 

And then there’s one particular door that I would love to knock on. I never been there but already makes me miss it so much it hurts. 

It’s a place where I’ve been longing to visit since years.  

A house which I can only see in my dreams. 

Its beauty I can only admire through images.

Its magic I can only feel in my racing heart. 

And its owner I love beyond human words. 

I’ve been waiting patiently for the invitation. Patiently. Because I’m aware that impatience, anger and greed will surely get me nowhere. 

Especially to Your house, my Allah SWT. 

Doomsday Anniversary

It's inevitable not to remember. 
Consciously. Subconsciously. 

Which School Is Cool

I’m the kind of parent who believes that a child will accomplished certain things at certain ages. Like reading or counting. While encouragement is necessary, pushing her to learn things beyond her current limit, to me, is unfair. Sure, a child’s mind is a like a sponge. She’ll probably absorbs and memorizes things way better and faster than adults. She might be able to read at 3 years old while others still learn how to say the word “Mom”. But that doesn’t mean that she likes it. If she was an adult, she would probably scream “Hey, Mom! I’m stressed! I don’t want to learn how to read yet!” 

And my question would be “Is it really necessary?” 

I personally love to read to my daughter. I’ve been reading children stories to her since she was still in the womb. It is one of my ideas of spending quality time with her. Now that she’s 4 years old, reading together becomes even more fun. I love the moments where she asks funny questions about the pictures she’s seeing in the book. Or when she changes the characters’ names to her own name and the people she knows. Sometimes she would skips a few pages and makes up stories by herself. 

So I hope you can understand my frustration below. 

My daughter lives in this sad era where people/schools expect her to be able to read and count at the tender age of 4. When she was in preschool, she had to learn the alphabets, numbers AND expected to learn the (english) phonics by heart. She also had to be able to trace letters and numbers without any help. Not only that, her school expected her to color INSIDE the lines. Perfectly. Oh, have I told you that she was only 3 then? 

Now, my daughter has a free spirit. She’s kinda like...her parents :D “Rules” like those certainly didn’t suit her personality. I was lucky enough to be there at her side every day to notice that she wasn’t happy with her school. That she was stressed. What was the signs? Well, small things, really. But if you paid more attention to them, you’d know. Like how she often cried during showers in the morning because she didn’t want to go. Or how she would rarely tell me stories about her day at school. Sure, she had her share of fun there. But most of time she just wanted to be out of the school with me. Either going straight home or anywhere else but there. I started to think to look for other schools. One school in particular. I went there and her name was unfortunately on the long waiting list. I kept looking while in the mean time tried to keep my daughter interested in her current school. I often asked about her friends, sung the songs she learned at school loudly at home like a crazy mother and patiently asked her to practice her writings. But I immediately let her play with her pet as soon as I saw a single tear on her eye. I also “taught” her some letters while she was pooping. You’d be surprise by the many letters you could find in the bathroom :p I also taught Kukka how to count 1-10 by counting the steps outloud whenever we found some stairs. 

And that fateful day came a couple of days before the school holiday. I got a call from Sekolah Cikal. They told me Kukka got a slot there if we were still interested. Long story short, here we are :)

I’m not saying that Sekolah Cikal is the best school. But it seems to be the right one for my baby girl right now. Kukka is happier, smarter and always excitedly telling me stories about her friends and even her teachers. She proudly shows me how to write and spell her name all by herself and she already can recites 4 ayahs of Al Fatihah almost by heart. Her Bahasa Indonesia is also improving in a quite impressive pace :D She shows off her drawings to me every day and in her eyes I can see how much she wants to make me proud of her colorful swirls, which of course are OUTSIDE the lines :) I always tell her and show her how proud I am of her. And sometimes she would ask me first "You're proud of me, Bubu?" :)) 

Now I'm happy to say that my Little Godsend is happy at school. And do you know what makes my heart burst with joy? Knowing that she’s doing and learning all those things not because she has to. But because she wants to. 

"I wike Cikaw. I have fun." - Kukka Aiko, 4 yo

Dear Kukka - Another Milestone

Congratulations, babycakes! You did it again! You’ve reached another milestone, another first. Your first sleepover without your parents. Never once I have a doubt that you couldn’t do it. I always knew you’ve always been ready. It’s the people around you who weren’t. But you’ve shown them that you were not a trouble at all :)

You’ve spent a night with Opa and Neti, uncles, aunties and cousins. You’ve shown them your sweetness and independence. I’m so proud of you. I know you did it because you love and enjoy being with your family. I’m grateful for that. 

Family is everything, babycakes. Remember that. They’re the ones who love you. Eventhough sadly, you might find it along the way that their actions don’t seem like it. Some might hurt you, some might ignore you. Some make mistakes because of their ignorance and stupidity. But you’ll learn to understand and forgive them. That’s what being in a family is. Love each other and except their flaws, as they hopefully will do the same for you. 

As for me, I said it once or twice and I will say it a thousand times more. I love you no matter what and I’m proud in everything you do since the first day Allah created you. I’m proud of your cries, your smiles, your singings, your dancings, your anwers, your questions, your protests, your angers. Your everything. 

But then again, I AM your mother. It's simply because you are MY everything.

Ways To Heaven. Or Hell.

I believe in payback time. As much as many times I wanted it to happen now, I believe that if not, it will happen in the afterlife. That’s why I believe in heaven. As strongly as I believe that there is a hell. And to get to one of those places, you’d need a ticket. Or two. Or even more. These kind of tickets will never be sold out. As long as you live, tickets to heaven or hell will be handed to you. The tickets could come in many forms. It could come in a form of a sickness, a grief over a loss of someone you love, a betrayal or a person. Each ticket offers different routes and will determine the classes you’ll ended up in.

I can’t imagine anyone would want to go to hell. But if you do, the ticket to get there is cheap and easy. Perfect for cheap and easy persons who would give away their dignities to get or steal other people’s belongings. If you wanted to go to hell, you don’t need a lot of time to think things through. Because really, whatever your urge is telling you what to do, just do it. Doesn’t matter if it’s right or wrong, hurtful to others or not, harmful to yourself or others. Just do it. You’d get what you wanted, quick and easy and quite possibly, fun and exciting. If your actions then created some problems, like well... Ruin other people’s life? Don’t you worry. There’s another easy route to get out of the problem: Ignorance. You’ll be on the express lane to hell. 

And like any other ticket to high end places, the ticket to heaven will be of course, very pricey and many times really difficult to achieve. How expensive, you ask? Price is of course, a very subjective matter. While cheap is cheap, what’s expensive to me might be nothing to you. And you could always try to negotiate because I don't think it's a sin, as long as you do it reasonably. I guess the price also depends on which routes you choose, what you do while you’re on the journey and how you deal with the obstacles you’ll find along the way. The more you pay, the better the seat. Or the bed. Or the house. Or whatever it is you can get in heaven. 

I believe life is full of choices. I choose to take the expensive ticket that has been offered to me lately and carefully paying it bit by bit eventhough the price is dragging me slowly to the bottomless part of the earth. Why? Simply because heaven is where I want to be. 

Insya Allah. 

22 Years Later

This year’s anniversary holiday was really a trip to the past for me. After changing his mind and schedules several times, Husband finally decided on a destination. 

Europe. 

The last time I set my feet on European land was in 1990. It was a very sad, sad day.  And I certainly left a big chunk of heart in Vienna. One of my biggest wishes was to visit Europe and see my friends in Vienna again. Who knew that 22 years later, April 20th, to be exact, I did. 

Our trip began in Paris. It was.... Paris. Need I say more? :) It supposed to be spring already. But the weather was quite chilly. Still, I was the only one who wore thick scarf, boots, long john, gloves AND chattering teeth. Meanwhile Husband and child acted like they’ve been Parisians all their lifes with their “Cold? What cold?” attitude. The highlight of Paris was, of course, NOT The Eiffel Tower. It was Disneyland Paris. My babycakes was totally thrilled to be there. It was such a perfect timing too. Right when she’s in this epic Pinocchio Phase, she actually DID visit Pinocchio’s house. 3 times to be exact. We had to wait in line for about 45 minutes and the ride lasted only around 5. You do the math. 

After that we flew to Germany and stayed at our good friends’ house in Eichwalde. The town was B E A U T I F U L! Almost everything I planned to do with Kukka when we visited Europe, I did it there. We took a walk through the wood, walked along the lake, saw wild ducks and a beautiful swan swam towards us, sat and played in the park. We also vistited Berliner Tierpark, an awesome zoo!! I wish we could go camping there with the lions :))

Now, after Berlin came the city that I’ve been missing for 22 years. Vienna. Right after the plane landed, tears ran down my cheeks. The first thing I wanted to do was contacting my friends IMMEDIATELY! :)) But I had to be patient and waited for dinner time. My friends and I agreed to have dinner at Ristorante San Carlo in Mahlerstrasse (highly recommended, btw). I was excited and afraid at the same time. How wouldn’t I be?! I was about to meet my friends who had a very special place in my heart after 22 years! I’ve been imagining about this event for a very long time. But when the time came, I was totally clueless of how to act, what to say or do. 

We were greeted by Marco, Susanne’s husband. He’s the owner of the restaurant. I know that restauranteurs HAVE to be friendly but the second I met Marco, I could feel his genuine kindness, friendlyness and fun. He led us to the table and there they were. My beautiful friends. There were Susanne and her pretty daughter, Alba, David, Ernst and Nenad :) Good God, I’m smiling and can feel the happiness as I’m typing these words:)) It was a beautiful, beautiful moment. It’s funny to think that we probably didn’t appreciate each other’s presence back then when we were together. Yet 22 years later it seemed like we’ve been the best of friends all this time and nothing has changed. 

Well, except for David. He’s becoming soooo tall and too slim I could feel his bones when we hugged! Yet still talkative and flirtatious, just like when he was 12 :)) Susanne is the same sweet and friendly girl I’ve ever know but now she has a gorgeous mini-her. Ernst is a bit quiet and I couldn’t understand his German very well because he speaks so....Austrian :)) Nenad... Well... Still the same Mr. Nice and Shy Guy and apparently still very healthy too. Still not smoking and drinks alcohol on minimum limit heheh... We spent a couple of hours chatting, eating and laughing. Too bad we couldn’t spend more time because it was getting late and they all had to go to work early in the morning. I think and I do hope I did cherish and appreaciated every second we were together because I don’t know if I ever going to see them again. 

After spending 2 nights in Vienna, we took a night train to Zürich and changed train in Geneve. Our next destination was Chamonix, France. Although we couldn’t find what we were looking for (read: snow) due to a wind storm, but we did have a great time there. Would love to go there again someday. 

Our trip started and ended in Paris. Although she was enjoying the holiday but I knew that My Little Godsend was also getting kind of homesick. The last 2 days in Europe she kept asking for her kitten almost everytime we’re about to ride on a bus, train or airplanes :)) “I miss Kwazii. Are we going to Kukka’s house? Are we going to Kwazii’s house?” she asked. So after 12 days of holiday, we finally flew home. 

And a day or two afterwards, My Little Godsend said “I want to go to Pinocchio’s house. I want to go to Disneyland.” What, you think we can go to Disneyland anytime by bus, girl?? :)) 


And yes, this post turned out to be quite short. But if I wrote the whole details, it would certainly be too long. So I guess I better keep this simple. Besides, I do have some new memories that I rather keep to myself because they were too beautiful to share :)

Dear Kukka: Happy 4th Birthday!

Because of you, I'm happier

Because of you, I'm braver

Because of you, I'm stronger

Because of you, I'm humbler

Because of you, I'm calmer

Because of you, I might be even wiser

And because of you, I know I am better

Therefore I'm forever grateful

There's not a single day gone by without me thanking Allah SWT for creating you 

To be the most important part of my life

To be my heart

Happy birthday, my most beloved Godsend

My angel, my rock, my life

My unconditional love and never ending prayers are with you

Forever and always

Dear Kukka - A Letter From Geppetto

My dear Pinocchio,

Yes, Pinocchio. That’s what you’ve been wanting to be called in the last few weeks or maybe even already a month. I must say this is quite an exciting, unique and hillarious phase. To think that it all started so harmlessly. Me wanting you to know The Disney Classics. Since you never been fond of Disney’s princesses and more into animals, toys and fairies, I was thinking of introducing you to Dumbo, Bambi, Lady and The Tramp, Peter Pan (and The Neverland Pirates heheh..) and...Pinocchio. 

I remember only showing you the part where Geppetto had just finished painting Pinocchio’s mouth and danced with the string wooden puppett, Figaro the cat and Cleo the goldfish. It was quite a scene, I admit. The song is nice to sing along and the cute clocks and music boxes made it merrier. I remember you watched it with wide eyes and so seriously. You didn’t say a word. At least not until the dancing scene was finished. And then you said: “Again, pwis!” I played it again. And again. And again. And again. And then I uploaded the full movie on the iPad. And this is when the phase begins :)) 

You’ve been watching it from the beginning until the end like.... Oh, I’m not sure. 12097489265923 million times, maybe? :)) And then you repeat your favorite scenes probably 3 times more? And that’s how you become Pinocchio and “baptized” the rest of us as Pinocchio characters. I’m Geppetto, naturally :) Bapa is Stromboli (because of the similar round belly, I assume?), Kwazii is Figaro, Kaka Namira is The Blue Fairy, Kaka Alyna is Cleo, Uwa Eza is Monstro, Uwa Tanti is Jiminy Cricket, Mas Wondo is Honest John, Mba Santi is Gideon, Aki is The Coach Man, Nini is Alexander (the donkey!!), Oom Anto is Lamwick, and so on. Naming the people you know as the characters in your (recently) favorite movie is actually not a new thing. You used to be Jewel from Rio or Simba from The Lion King. But it never goes out to “public”. 

Now, this Pinocchio phase is epic! Your teachers reported to me that you refuse to be called Kukka and only respond if they called you Pinocchio. You’ve been introducing yourself to new people with a confident hand shake and a firm voice “Pinocchio.” You get angry when we still call you Kukka. You replace the characters’ names in other movies and books with Pinocchio characters. Your favorite line is now “I wanna go home to my Mama” and you’re singing Pinocchio songs all day long. You even made Bapa...I mean, Stromboli, confused when he heard you say “Life is full of temptations.” :))) 

I don’t know if you ever going to remember this still-on-going phase but trust me. I’m not making this up. You can ask about this to the rest of the family or even your (former) preschool teachers one day. Now it seems that you are practicing The Blue Fairy’s famous line “A lie keeps growing and growing until it’s as plain as the nose in your face.” Heheh... Tough one, I know. But I’m sure you can say it in no time, babycakes. 

Because nothing is too difficult for a super smart girl like you ;*

Losing Faith - The Death of a Hopeless Romantic

Because life is a long journey, one should have something he can look forward to. Some excitedly planning for New Year’s eve 6 months before. Some couldn’t wait for the day they turn 17. Busy people almost patiently waiting for every weekend to come so they can spend time with their loved ones. Teenagers anxiously waiting for the same date in every month to celebrate their “anniversaries” with their boy- and girlfriends, and then tweet about it like crazy. Somebody is willing to drive across town to find the perfect Valentine’s bouquet. Because everybody needs some excitements in his life. Excitements that come in the form of the thrill of giving, getting, wanting and needing. Of course there are also people who don’t give a crap about these things. That certain dates are just another day which comes and goes just like any other dates. That certain celebrations are a waste of money. That surprises are overated. Everybody is entitled to have his own belief. So there’s no wrong or right. 

What’s sad is when someone who used to believe in those “magic moments” suddenly loses her faith. Losing it makes her numb and ends up living her days more like a programmed robot. Or a ghost. Floating from places to places, just for the sake to be somewhere instead of living the moments and cherishing the beauty of the places she’s been or the company she’s been with. Not to feel anything is a scary feeling that nobody should ever experience in her life. Especially for someone whose life used to be filled with love, fun and excitements. A hopeless romantic, as I called it. A person who thinks that all you need in this world is love. 

For a hopeless romantic, choosing to be indifferent is not an easy task. The moment she tries not to care in the things that she used to believe in is the moment where her life has turned into a neverending hardwork. Because eventhough deep down her heart is still aching to get those magic moments back, she has to try with all her might not to expect anything anymore. Yet in the same time she still secretly waiting to be saved by the very person that she loves to make her believe again. 

Because the saddest, most ironic and probably pathetic part of it all is that, intentionally or subconsciously, “dead” or alive, she is doing it, still... 

In the name of love. 

Shit.

Never thought it would come to this. 

That I would feel the need to leave everything that matters,

and went off on my own. 

That I would let the one and only person that made me still alive today, 

going through days without me. 

Never thought it would come to this. 

That I would still feel the need to do it again. 

And again. And again. 

Not tomorrow or the day after. 

Now. 

Will this feeling ever go away? 

To You, You and You.

Yes, you. 

I know you've been reading my blog. Thank you. I appreciate your interest in my life and I hope you've been entertained by my writings. 

Well, actually I do know for a fact that you like my writings. Not intend to be a cocky bitch here, really. But since you copy-pasted my lines in your Twitter account, in your bio, and only God knows where else, you must like them very much. So much you treated them as if they were your original ideas, your personal life and experiences. What the fuck?!?!? Seriously.

ORIGINAL. Do you know what it means? 

You know, there's a section below every post where you can drop me a comment or two. Just tell me that you like my writings and ask for permission to post some of the lines in your Twitter or anywhere else. With credit, of course. Simply put my name next to it or the url if you're in the mood to be more respectful. That, my youngsters, is the right thing to do. Ask. Don't steal. Don't cheat. 

Nobody likes a thief. And everybody surely hates a cheater.

Dear Kukka: It's about life

Dear Kukka, 

I know you’re only 3.6 years old now. Far too young to learn about life. But who knows? Maybe by the time you read this, you’d be in the perfect age to know a little bit more about life. 

My sweet girl... From the day you were born... No, let me rephrase that. From the day the idea of having you in my life was in my head and set in my heart, you’ve been very fortunate and blessed with so much love. So far you’re living an easy and happy life. Perhaps the only bad moments that you have are the times when I get tough on you and I don’t always give you the things that you want. But one day you’ll thank me for it. Trust me. 

In short, you’re living the toddler’s dream, baby. 

But soon, my precious, your life might start to change. You’ll see that there are times when you can’t see the slightest ray of sunlight or even the so called silver lining in your dark sky. You’ll realize that there are actually some people who want to hurt you, strangers or sadly, even loved ones. There will be days when you discover ugly truths about your friends and families. You’ll also make mistakes, big and small, and some people might ended up hating you for it. Then sadly, there will be times when I, your mother, whose life is dedicated only for you, will not be able to help you or be there for you. Then you’ll realize that nobody is perfect. Not even your parents. Then you’ll get your heart broken and you’ll be drown in tears.

Now that’s when you’ll find out that life is not always a bed of roses. That, my little Godsend, is what you called simply a LIFE. The full package of laughters, tears and bitter-sweet ironies. 

So, as much as I want to, I can’t and won’t promise you that life will always be easy. I can’t even promise you that I will always be there for you. The only thing I can do is to promise you that my love for you will never change. It will be as enormous and overwhelming as right now. And if for some reasons it did change, I assure you my love for you would only be greater. 

There is one more thing that I can promise you though. That if for some reasons I could not help you and be there for you in any way, know that Allah SWT will. 

Always. 

Downward Spiral

In my down days I often wonder. Just basic stuff, really. Like this never ending questions about why bad things happen to good people and bad people often get what they want. Then there’s why there are some who have to pay a really high price until the day they die for some mistakes that they’ve done a long time ago. There’s also a question why some have to live in despair for the rest of their lives because of somebody else’s mistake. And why there are persons who posed as the innocence yet they’re exactly the ones who rip other people’s hearts. 

Or... The really super basic of them all: why life can be such a cliche and so hard sometimes. So hard that it makes the problem seems so surreal. It’s like you’re in a daze. Your surrounding is spinning around and all the colors in the world are almost fading. And you feel like you’re floating. Not ghostly kind of floating. But more like a smoke. If somebody was there to catch you, he couldn’t. You can’t be saved because it’s like you’re there but not exactly here. But then, seconds later you’re back. With good and hard smack on the head. And heart. 

And then your heart starts to bleed again. Back to reality.

The End of The World

January 1st 2012. 

Yeah. Pretty much is. 

A Valuable Heritage From The Inlaws

Bapa-ibu mertuaku punya anak 5. Cowo semua. Ganteng semua. Baik hati dan tidak sombong semua. Rajin menabung dan mengaji...mmm...ngga tau ya :p Tapi yang bikin hati makin luluh, lima-limanya sopan semua. Apalagi untuk ukuran cowo. Mau ke orang tua, muda, perempuan atau laki, suamiku dan kaka-adenya ini sangat santun. Seumur hidup sampe sekarang, belum lagi tuh ketemu sama cowo-cowo model begini.. Kalo bertatap muka, pasti nyapa dengan sopan, ramah plus senyum yang manis dan serius tulus. Konon kabarnya, senyuman maut inilah yang bikin banyak cewe klepek-klepek dan jatuh-bangun :p Kalo ngejawab telepon juga kedengerannya enak dan ramah. Senyumannya pun “kedengeran”, bikin pengen nelepon berlama-lama :))

Nah, setelah pacaran dan sering ke rumah Ica, aku nemuin satu lagi “fenomena” yang bikin aku mikir “Ah, nanti kalo punya anak mau diajarin gini juga!”. Fenomena yang sebenernya basic dan sangat sederhana, yaitu menyapa. Bapak, Ibu, anak-anak dan seisi rumahnya selalu memulai hari dengan saling menyapa “Pagi, Bapak. Pagi, Ibu.” Atau kapan pun kalo mereka baru ketemu hari itu. Awalnya aku agak canggung karena di rumahku ngga ada kebiasaan seperti ini. Dan aku pun harus ngasih tau ke orang-orang sekitar tentang kebiasaan keluarga Ica ini dan supaya sama-sama sopan, mereka pun sebaiknya ngelakuin hal yang sama kalo ketemu Ica. Setelah ngga begitu lama, aku pun jadi terbiasa. At first it felt like an obligation. But then it became like it was the most natural and a nice thing to do when I meet other people. 

Begitu udah nikah, punya rumah dan staf sendiri, urusan sapa-menyapa ini jadi salah satu hal yang paling ribet :)) Setiap ganti supir, PRT, tukang kebon dll, mereka harus di-brief dulu soal kebiasaan Si Bapbap ini. Sama seperti aku dulu, awalnya mereka bingung, malu dan canggung. Ini semakin membuktikan pendapatku bahwa kebiasaan sapa-menyapa ini ngga begitu banyak yang nerapin. Ngga jarang udah liat-liatan, mereka masih planga-plongo dan malah berlalu :)) Ada juga yang harus kena tegur Ica dulu baru mereka mau nyapa. Bukan masalah siapa yang duluan nyapa ya.. Ngga berarti dia supir terus HARUS nyapa duluan terus kita diem aja. Ya yang sewajarnya aja lah..

Nah, sejak Kukka udah bisa berinteraksi sepenuhnya dengan orang lain, kita juga mulai ngajarin dia untuk menyapa. Tentunya kadang-kadang kita harus ngingetin. Ngga jarang juga dia mogok nyapa. Dasar bocah. Tapi alhamdulillah makin hari, Kukka semakin manis. Begitu keluar kamar, kalo dia liat ada crew di sekitar, meski dengan mata setengah melek dia bilang “Pagi, Mas Muw. Pagi, Mba Santi. Pagi, Mas Wondo.” Sore-sore kalo keluar kamar abis bangun tidur, dengan manis Kukka bilang “Sowe, Mas Muw!”. Kita juga ngebiasain Kukka untuk selalu bilang terima kasih dan maaf ke siapapun. Alhamdulillah kalo nerima sesuatu, Kukka bilang “Thank you!”. Kalo nolak ditawarin sesuatu, Kukka jawabnya “No thanks!”. Kalo salah, even to her pet, she says “I’m sowwy, Kwazii!” :))

Seneng dan bangga rasanya liat Kukka kaya gitu. Aku juga yakin para mas dan mba di rumah pun ngerasa seneng, feel welcomed and appreciated. Nah yang bikin aku tambah seneng lagi, udah beberapa kali aku nguping para crew di rumah saling menyapa satu sama lain dengan suara riang “Pagiii!”. Padahal mereka ngga tau lho ada aku di deket situ.. Jadi mereka saling menyapa itu memang atas kesadaran dan kemauan sendiri. Crew ini tergolong formasi baru tapi sepertinya (SEMOGA) mereka cocok satu sama lain dan semakin hari semakin akrab. Semoga kebiasaan yang aku dan Ica terapin di rumah bisa bikin rumah kita tambah nyaman dan penghuninya tambah akrab dan betah. 

Opa and Neti and the grandkids: The Complete Collection :))

Terima kasih banyak atas ajarannya ini, Bapak dan Ibu. 

Semoga kebiasaan manis ini terus diterapkan oleh anak-cucu kami :)

Instagram: Lovers VS Nyinyir-ers

Instagram. What’s not to love about it? I’m in awe, I’m in love since the moment I signed up. Instagram is one of the reasons why I wanted an iPod in the first place. After sooooo many years I finally WANT to buy one. Of course, after a while I felt that it wasn’t enough. I had to wait until there was a Wi Fi connection to upload a picture. I was too much of an IG addict to wait. So I convinced my husband to buy me an iPhone. Lucky me to have such a generous man :D

I always loved taking pictures but was never really good at it. There was a time when I really wanted to learn and sign up for photography classes. But the idea of using a “heavily-equipped” professional camera made me to think thrice. The thought of having to carry around an extra camera bag when I already carry one big hand bag (sometimes + a diaper bag) and have to hold a toddler’s hand on the other were too much work. Yang ada, belum sempet ngeluarin kamera, obyek yang mau difotonya udah keburu ilang atau kabur :)) I used to take pictures with my BlackBerry Onyx, which came with a decent camera. But that was it. Fotonya numpuk di memory card, upload di FB trus... #kemudianhening 

And then along came Instagram. And the filters. Oh how I love those crazy filters :)) Buat orang yang seneng dan pengen ngutak-ngatik warna-efek foto TAPI NGGA BISA (dan males belajar Photoshop :p) kaya aku, those filter apps are my livesavers. I could spend hours to tweak the pictures. Adding layers of filters, often with different apps. Sounds like lot of work, eh?! It is. But it gives me lots of fun too! Waktu awal-awal kenalan sama aplikasi filter-filter ini, fotoku bisa totally different dari gambar aslinya. Sekarang sih seperlunya aja. Still very much active tapi udah ngga kalap kaya dulu heheh... But I like to think that my pictures are getting better. In terms of the angles dan pemilihan obyek :D

Yang suka bikin aku heran tuh kenapa banyak juga orang yang nyinyir terhadap orang dan foto yang dia posting di IG. Awalnya sering nyela karena ngekonek foto IG ke Twitter. Why does it bother someone so much? Apa bedanya sama nge-TwitPic? Apa karena dianggap nyampah? Nyampah mana sama cuma ngetwit “Males.”? Issue selanjutnya adalah foto yang diupload. Ada yang nyela bahwa IG penuh dengan foto pohon lah, awan lah, sunset lah. Hey, if that person wanted to upload a picture of his own crap in a flowery bowl, just let him do it! 

And as if those weren’t enough, sekarang banyak yang rame nyela soal hashtag. Memang foto yang disertain hashtag bakal lebih banyak di-like dan kemungkinan masuk Popular Page lebih besar. Big deal? Well, actually yes. IG is just another forum for its members to show off. Bedanya sama Twitter, ya cuma output-nya aja. Instead of tweet/text, it’s a picture. Nah apa gunanya pamer kalo ngga ada yang merhatiin? Enak aktif di Twitter tapi ngga ada yang mensyen? Kalo enak, ya nulis diary aja! Kalo cuma mau posting foto tanpa ngarepin komen/like sih ya bikin album aja di rumah. And one more thing about hashtag. Orang paling bego juga tau hashtag itu bisa mempermudah pencarian. Say, I want to see pets’ pictures on IG. I just have to type #petstagram and there they are. So again, why the nyinyirs??? 

A friend of mine once said “Iri aja kali. Pengen ikutan IG tapi ngga punya device-nya.” :)) Well, I don’t know about that. I think some people just like to give nasty comments about other people’s pleasures. It probably is THEIR guilty pleasure. 

Welcoming Another K

Once upon a time there was Kity Perry, a 4 months persian kitten with long, dark grey, silky coat. She was our first pet. Inspired by Touch Pets Cats, a cute game on iPad, Kukka asked her Bapa for a kitten. Eventho I thought she was too young to have a pet, Kukka’s dad bought her one anyway. Obviously Kukka was very excited. She was the one who named the kitten. Berhubung menurutku namanya terlalu biasa, apalagi buat kucing model begini, aku tambahin “Perry” supaya kerenan dikit :D

Kity Perry is a cute kitten. But unfortunately she’s one scary cat, literally. It took nearly 2 weeks for her to get used to us, the household & everyhing. After a month or so she felt more comfortable. She would followed us around the house, let Kukka carry her around, petted her, kissed her. But even after months Kity was still easily scared. She would hissed if we suddenly approached her. Yang bikin Kity jantungan tuh kalo didatengin Kukka :)) Kukka lari mendekat dan teriak histeris. Jelaslah Si Kity itu stresss! Aku aja suka kaget kalo denger suara Kukka teriak. Not to mention the loud stomping of her chubby feet. 

The worst part was Kity would hide or sleep under the sofa for hours. Nah ini parah banget buat kucing berbulu panjang dan tebal model Si Kity. Soalnya badannya jadi lembab dan gampang kena jamur. Alhasil Si Kity jamuran dan aku dibikin repot karena harus bolak-balik ke dokter. Belum sembuh dari jamur, Si Kity pake pilek pula. Tiap hari harus dicekokin tablet. Ribet banget deh! But Kukka loved Kity nonetheless. I loved Kity too but I really thought she wasn’t the right one for Kukka. I thought about selling her but Ica said to just give her away to someone who’s more mature and suitable to her personality. Dasar emang udah takdir. Ngga pake susah nyari, eh ketemu juga orang yang cocok :) So after being a part of our family for about 4 months, Kity finally found a better home. 

Kukka and I missed Kity a lot. Well, I missed Kity :) I missed having her curling on my lap while I was working on my computer. I missed watching Kukka having a conversation with Kity. I missed having a pet around. Long story short, setelah dapet restu dari Pa Boss, I began looking for another kitten. And along comes Kwazii :)

Kwazii is a 1.5 months old Maine Coon kitten. Yes, a Maine Coon :D Yang ngga tau Maine Coon, coba klik link ini ;) I don’t know how big he’s going to be and I really don’t care that much. Because this little boy is just the cutest. He has thick, grey-silverish coat and I swear he’s starting to grow a mane :D 

Personality Kwazii jauh banget sama Kity. Yeah I’m a bad mother. I can’t help to compare them coz I’m in love! Kukka is also ecstatic. Dia juga tuh yang ngasih nama. Hari ini baru hari kedua tapi Kwazii udah manja setengah mati. Despite of being handled by Kukka quite roughly, dia tetep aja ngikutin kita kemana-mana. He seems cool with the fact that Kukka sometimes still squeezes him too hard or holds him upside down (butt up, head down). Kwazii keliatan cuek meski dikejar-kejar Kukka yang teriak histeris kesenengan. Dia malah kaya balik nantangin, dengan bodi melengkung dan bulu berdiri. Dia sama sekali ngga keliatan takut sama Kukka. While Kukka is having dinner, he would curled up near her feet and sometimes bite Kukka’s chubby calves. Yang betisnya digigitin juga sama cueknya. Tetep asik makan sambil nonton TV :D And I think Ica loves Kwazii too. Tadi malem malah disuruh tidur sekamar sama kita. So I guess when it comes to his daughter and her pet, Ica is such a softy :p 

So here is Kwazii, named after a character from one of Kukka’s favorite cartoons, Octonauts. 

Let’s hope that he will live a long, healthy and happy life with us :)

To my dearest, perfect stranger

What I'm feeling for you right now is beyond words. 

All I can say is I'm so, so, so happy for you. 

And thank you so much for choosing me as your "safe place" to share. 

Please know that I will always be right here. 

Ready for more joy and tears and everything. 

*super big hug*