What’s Your Relationship Kryptonite?

I believe that every relationship has one thing, or more, that could turn the relationship into a ticking bomb & makes the love go weak, if not...dead. A relationship kryptonite.

Probably the most common relationship kryptonite is THE Ex lover. That one particular ex who keeps haunting you & your lover. The one who seems like he/she can’t let the two of you be in love in peace. The one who keeps calling & texting, asking totally “ngga penting” questions. And now since that god damn Facebook is around, it keeps easier for the ex to annoy you by commenting on your lover’s status or photos. I’ve “dedicated” a whole post about this one :p Read Neverending Problem Mantan if you’re interested.

After the Ex Factor, there’s a Friend Factor. I’ve blogged about this too (Karma Drama). About a “friendly” relationship of the opposite sex. A friend of mine commented on my post “Kalo kata temen gue, punya temen baru lawan jenis, di usia kita sekarang, dan jadi temen deket is bullshit!” Yet, there’s no way you can forbid your lover not to have (opp sex) friends, no? There you go. Another kryptonite :)

Then in some cases, there’s an intimacy issue. You’re into each other but as you get ‘closer’, there’s this kyrptonite. It could come in a form of bad body odor, an ugly handicap, bad habit or a sick addiction...

And what about a dark past? That can be a relationship kryptonite too, can it? You think as time goes by, you can handle or even forget his/her ugly past. But who are you kidding? Bad memory combined with suspicion are like cancer. It spreads in your every thought and it eats you alive. And at a certain point, you’ll explode and your relationship dies.

So, what? Better not to have a relationship at all and spare yourself all the sadness and depression? That’s for you to decide ;)

As for me, I’m a mostly happily married woman with the most beautiful daughter in the world. Bad things happened, yes. And sometimes there’s nothing I can do about it. But good things are happening more each day. So, I vote for relationship and try to be as far as I could from the kryptonite :D

When A Son Gives Back...

...big chance it won’t be something emotional touchy-feely stuff. It would be something that his parents need. Like... A holiday. That was exactly what my husband gave to his parents :) Dari awal, objective liburan ini adalah untuk menyenangkan orangtua. Itu juga alasan suamiku milih Vietnam, tempat yang belum pernah dikunjungin bapak-ibunya. Dan seperti biasa, istrinya deh yang disuruh ngurus ini-itu :p

Alhamdulillah semua pusing & ke-senewen-an ilang karena sepertinya liburannya sukses. Well, agak melenceng dari rencana awalnya. Dari rumah aku udah sibuk nge-print tempat-tempat yang wajib dikunjungin. Museums, Pagoda etc. Tapi prakteknya, liburan kita malah berubah jadi wisata kuliner. Which if I may add, was very satisfying & I didn’t mind at all :)) So, please jangan tanya soal Pagoda mana yang kita kunjungin, Museum apa yang kita datengin. But do ask makan dimana & apa aja :))

Hari pertama kita sampe di Ho Chi Minh City sekitar jam 8 malem. Selesai check-in di Sherwood Residence, kita langsung cari makan. It was kinda difficult karena udah malem. Setelah keliling kita sampe di restaurant Din Ky di 137 C Nguyen Trai - Q1. Dari luar sih kaya resto cina biasa. Tapi makanannya enaaak! Sumpah bukan karena kita kelaperan berat! Tapi emang enak! Nah di resto ini juga aku “nemuin” cocolan baru. Si cocolan yang bagiku super sedap ini dateng bareng deep fried chicken wings. Keliatannya sangat ngga menggugah selera karena ternyata ingredients-nya cuma pepper+garam+perasan lime. Tapi sumpah enaaak! Asinpedesasem gitu rasanya *nelenludahbeneran*

Hari kedua otakku udah penuh rencana. Kertas gebetan berisi tujuan-tujuan penting ngga lupa dibawa. Sebelum kemana-mana kita mampir dulu di Asia Sun Travel untuk ngurus hotel di Vung Tau besok. Abis itu baru deh ke Tujuan 1 naek taxi. Eeeeh tapi begitu nyampe di depan Hall of the Ten Hells, Ica bilang “Cari makan aja yuk!” :)) Di situlah awal wisata kuliner kami dimulai. Kita makan siang di Nha Hang Ngon atas rekomendasi si Mister resepsionis Sherwood. Katanya kita wajib makan di sini. Oh, & Ngon artinya “delicious” :) So, naturally we went there. And yes, the food WAS delicious. Tempatnya juga bagus. We ate like crazy people & yang paling asik, ngga mendadak bokek :D Abis makan kita jalan kaki keliling kota. Ho Chi Minh City ternyata bener-bener puanaaass & terik menyilaukan mata. Tapi kita tetep semangat jalan & foto-foto. Sempet juga mampir di Fahasa English Bookstore. Malemnya kita ke Night Market di luar Ben Thanh untuk belanja oleh-oleh. Biasa lah... Stuff like fridge magnets, T-Shirts, patung, tas etc. Yang bikin beda? Mereka jualan kopi :) Ada banyak macemnya, salah satunya Weasel Coffee or Kopi Luwak.

Hari ketiga kita berangkat ke Long Hai Beach, Vung Tau naek Ford Everest & supir sewaan. Seperti “kebanyakan” orang Vietnam yang kita temuin, si supir ngga bisa ngomong bahasa Inggris :D Jadi seringkali kita sengaja ngomong pake bahasa Indo. Toh hasilnya sama aja :p Yang ribet, kadang pake bahasa tarzan pun tetep ngga nyambung! Perjalanan ke Vung Tau lumayan lama. Sekitar 3 jam. Alhamdulillah sepanjang jalan Kukka tidur :D Kalo ngga, aku bisa sakit badan heheh... Sampe di Anoasis Beach Resort aku legaaa banget! Karena ternyata aslinya seindah foto-foto di website-nya :D Alhamdulillah... The beach was breathtaking & it was all ours karena sepi & letaknya tepat dibelakang resort tempat kita nginep. Kukka was super excited! Sekarang dia udah gede. Udah lebih ngerti asiknya pantai :) Dulu waktu ke Bali, dia cuma amazed sama pasir. Sekarang Kukka udah bisa nikmatin rasanya kesiram ombak :D Sesekali Kukka jilat-jilat bibirnya. Asin :p Tapi maen aer tetep lanjut!! Diangkat dari pantai, meronta-ronta. Dicemplungin ke kolam renang, baru anteng. Diangkat dari kolam, ngomel-ngomel. Direndam di bath tub, baru ketawa lagi :)) Yang parah, di depan kamar langsung ada kolam renang. Jadi Kukka bawaannya pengen keluaaar terus. Padahal sumpah mati di luar itu panasnyaaa minta ampun!!! Sampe akhirnya Ica & Kukka berenang pake payung hihihi!

Hari keempat kita balik lagi ke Ho Chi Minh. Belanja silk di China Town Market, makan siang di resto steak Ostrich, belanja souvenir di Ben Thanh Market & the highlight of the day: dinner di floating restaurant di Sai Gon River. This one is a must. Terserah mau pilih kapal yang mana. I bet they all serve tasty food. Yang penting mungkin jangan lupa bawa jaket ato pashmina ya! Terutama kalo mau bawa anak. Anginnya kenceeeng & kinda chilly. But it was beautiful :)

Hari terakhir kita sempetin mampir ke “distrik Muslim” & makan siang di resto Halal@Saigon & liat Sai Gon Central Mosque meski cuma dari seberang jalan :D Di sini ibu mertuaku akhirnya ketemu juga sama “temannya”, perempuan berjilbab heheh... Abis itu kita belanja tas & pernak-pernik lucu di toko Ombo, seberang Sheraton Hotel. I was very happy in this store. Soalnya bisa beliin tas lucu buat my mom, sister & niece. Jam 20.20 kita take off & alhamdulillah jam 23.10 mendarat di Jakarta.

Long story short, our trip was fun & the most important thing, Ibu & Bapak seemed very happy & enjoyed it too. I’m very proud of my husband. He worked hard so we could all enjoy this holiday. I know you’re not into this “sort of thing” but Insya Allah, kebahagiaan Ibu & Bapak jadi doa & berkah yang priceless buat kamu di akhirat, Yang :)

I Love You Today

Ulang taun pernikahan taun ini tergolong “menyedihkan”. Karena Ica lagi sibuuuk banget! Pas hari H malah nginep di Anyer gara-gara shooting. Waktu aku curhat bahwa 6 Maret taun ini ngga asik, Ica bilang kan masih akan ada 50 6 Maret lainnya. Kalo aku ngeluh soal beginian, Ica sering pake jawaban model begitu. Masih ada X ulang taun yang bisa kita rayain bareng lah, masih ada 50 taun kita bisa sama-sama lah, masih ada 100 liburan bareng lah & sejenisnya. Yang cewe kedengeran tukang komplen & cengeng, yang cowo tukang ngegombal :D

Now this shows how different sometimes Ica & I can be. Terlepas dari gombal ato ngga (or it’s his only way to shut her wife up :p), Ica itu lebih “pede” soal masa depan. Sementara aku serba parnoan. I have this tendency to remind myself constantly that we won’t live forever. That death is just around the corner. Depressing? Yeah, maybe :)) And FYI, this is not my first blog post about death. Read this if you’re in the mood for some heavy thinking ;))

I say, live like there’s no tomorrow! Never forget to tell “I love you” to the people you love. Call your mother & have a nice chat. Take your dad to places he likes. Text your brothers & sisters that you miss them. Trace every corner of your daughter’s face & whisper the very best of prayers a mother can give to her child. Hug & kiss your soulmate as if you would never have the chance to do it later.

And no, babe. This is not me whining about how we couldn’t spend our 6th anniversary together. For today, this is simply another way of mine to say:

I LOVE YOU :*

6th

That day, your warm hand held mine so tightly the entire night. Your eyes sparkled so bright and lively. Just like those fireworks we’ve managed to light up the dark sky. And then under the bright full moon, you sang me a song with your mesmerizing voice. You were smiling the whole time. Oh God knows how I love your smile! I still remember how that heart-melting smile curled perfectly on the face of a man I adore so much.

It was a perfect day. It was the day we got married. And I thought it was the happiest day of my life. But it wasn’t.

The happiest day of my life is when I wake up, it’s you who I see beside me.
The happiest day of my life is when I look at you together with our beautiful child.
The happiest day of my life is when I hold you & hear your heart beats peacefully.

Happy 6th Anniversary, my love.
Know that the happiest day of my life is whenever I’m with you.

English Speaking PRT

Sejak Kukka berumur 1 taun, aku & Ica sepakat untuk nerapin ESL (English as Second Language). Yang artinya, aku harus konsisten & eksklusif bicara pake bahasa Inggris sama Kukka, sementara sama yang lain pake bahasa Indonesia, termasuk sama bapanya. Dulu sih rencananya aku mau ngajarin bahasa Jerman, Ica yang bicara pake english. Tapi karena takut Kukka bingung, ya udah kita stick sama english aja dulu. Lagipula ibunya udah kurang fasih Jerman-nya karena udah lama ngga punya temen ngobrol :(

Alhamdulillah sepertinya Kukka termasuk anak yang cepat bisa bicara. Emang anaknya pada dasarnya napsu banget pengen bisa ngomong, sebelum setaun pun udah bisa ngomong “Apa” & “Bapa”. Soal ini, aku patut berterimakasih sama PRT-ku, Mela, yang sehari-hari juga ikut ngurusin Kukka. Untung banget Kukka punya mba yang banyak omong. Kalo mereka lagi berdua, rumah ngga pernah sepi. Selalu ada aja yang “diobrolin”. Dan yang bikin aku seneng, Mela bicaranya seperti ke orang dewasa. Ngga pernah pake bahasa yang di”anak-anak”-in. Normal aja. Kalo ngajak Kukka ngelakuin sesuatu, Mela juga ngejelasin benda, keadaan, cara kerja & segala sesuatu yang ada di sekeliling. Makan ato minum, Kukka diingetin untuk ngomong “Bismillah” & “Alhamdulillah”. Dia juga ngajarin Kukka Iqra, meski baru sampe tahap “Ba” & “Tsa” :) Lucky me punya PRT yang ngga hanya beneran sayang & care sama Kukka, tapi juga tergolong pinter.

Mela punya rasa ingin tahu & semangat belajar yang tinggi. Salah satu contoh, kalo abis makan di restoran, diem-diem dia perhatiin & “meneliti” rasa makanan yang aku pesen. 2 hari kemudian, makanan yang persis sama udah terhidang di meja dengan rasa yang lumayan enak. Nah, kalo aku bicara ato bacain buku ke Kukka, aku notice dia juga merhatiin dengan seksama. Lagu-lagu anak-anak yang biasa aku nyanyiin buat Kukka, dia simpen di HPnya & nyoba untuk ikutin nyanyiannya, based on what she's hearing. Buku-buku Kukka dia coba baca juga. Setiap kali nemenin Kukka nonton Barney, dia juga suka ngulang kata-kata yang ada di film itu. Sebenernya dulu Ica pernah bilang sama aku untuk sekalian ngajarin Mela english. Waktu itu aku iya-iya aja sambil mikir dalem hati “Ngga usah deh... Nanti ngga bisa ngomong rahasia-rahasiaan lagi sama Ica.” Hihihihi....

I should’ve known better karena pada suatu pagi Ica & aku denger Kukka lagi main sama temen barunya di lantai bawah. Ngga berapa lama kita pun turun. Eh, si temen baru itu ternyata udah ngga ada. So I asked “Where’s your friend, Kukka?”. Dan dari belakang Mela nyaut dengan santai “Udah pulang tadi.”

Wekweeeeeeeeeew!! :))) Ica melongo, aku cengar-cengir kaget. “Gawat juga nih kalo si Mela bisa bahasa Inggris! Kamu harus mulai ajarin aku Jerman, yang!”, kata Ica yang masih takjub sama jawaban Mela.

Heheh... Ternyata lumayan juga kursus Inggris “kelas conversation” aku ini. Ibarat sekali tepuk, dapet 2 nyamuk :))

Ready For Another?

Masuk 2010 pikiranku “terganggu” oleh satu pertanyaan yang aku ajuin ke diri sendiri. Am I ready for another baby? Dan pertanyaan yang lebih basic lagi, do I want another one?

Honestly, I don’t know. Dalam hati kecil, masih ada keinginan punya baby lagi. Apalagi kaka iparku sekarang lagi hamil 3 bulan. Wuih... Kayanya seru kalo inget jaman hamil dulu. Bener kata sebagian orang. Kalo udah pernah hamil, enjoyed it, pasti ngiler pengen hamil lagi kalo liat bumil lain. Belom lagi masalah biological clock. Let’s face it, I’m not young anymore :)) And they say 35 is when the yellow lights goes on. Taun ini, kalo masih dikasih umur, aku 34. Hamil 9 bulan. Itung, itung, itung... Kalo mau ngelahirin sebelum 35, ya harus hamil taun ini!!!!!!

HUAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Tapi begitu liat Kukka, seringkali aku langsung mantap dalam hati. Ngga ah! She’s more than enough. She’s almost perfect. Lagipula, tampangnya Kukka kayanya ngga cocok punya ade :) Selaen itu aku senewen sendiri mikirin bisa fokus ato ngga ngebesarin Kukka secara emotionally. Knowing me, kalo sampe insya Allah hamil lagi, pasti aku bakal ngebatasin diri banget secara fisik. Takut kenapa-kenapa kalo sampe kecapean dll. Meanwhile I have an Energizer toddler running around our house who also constantly wants to be with me :) Will I be able to handle it? Handle her? Handle the pregnancy?

The pregnancy. Ah, yes... Untuk hamilnya aja bakal sebuah perjuangan sendiri. Like my lovely husband said, will I be able to take the pain, the struggle, the commitment to regularly or even daily visit the doctor? Dengan mantap aku bisa jawab, the pain, I CAN handle! Daily hormon shots? Ambil darah seminggu 3x? Blah. Just like being pinched by a baby :p It’s the “inside” struggle that keeps me thinking. Most of all, it’s Kukka that I’m worrying about.

But then again, lots of mothers are doing it. Sepupuku udah punya newborn baby pas anak perempuannya baru umur 1.5 taun!! She’s doing great & so is her daughter. Dan kalo mikir lagi that there could be another mini mixture of me & my loveofmylife, my heart would just melt & says yes, yes, yes let’s do it!!! :D And Kukka is a sweet, caring & affectionate child. She already loves babies. I’m sure she’ll make a great big sister. And if Allah say yes to everything we’ve planned, Kukka will be above 2 years old. She could be enrolling in a preschool. Probably she will be the one who wouldn’t have time for me. To busy learning, playing & being a social butterfly like my friend said :))

Tapi, tapi, baruuu aja beberapa bulan ini aku bisa nikmatin bercangkir-cangkir kopi lagi & ehm...beberapa gelas Chili’s’ Margharita hihihi... Baruuuu aja bisa terima job freelance yang pake ngantor. Baruuu aja lepas dari tanggungjawab menyusui. Eh, dicampakkan tepatnya :)) Am I really ready to let those “freedom” go AGAIN???

But look at those cute little babiessss! Aaaaaaw!!! Baby boys! Baby girls! Their angelic smiles!... Their sweet scents... Who can resist those??? I want one!!

Aaaaaaaaaaargh!!! Soooo much to think about!!

Cocky Immigration Rookie

Mungkin juga sih si dia ini udah lama jadi pegawai di Imigrasi Jakarta Selatan. Tapi kelakuannya kaya orang baru! Yang ngerasa keren & “berkuasa” nge-interview & motret orang-orang yang pengen bikin paspor. Dia pikir orang jadi takut & segan berhadapan sama pegawai berseragam coklat lusuhnya itu?!? Basi banget!

Jadi nyesel udah menyahut panggilannya dengan ramah & senyum. Nyesel juga udah sopan ngejawab pertanyaan-pertanyaannya. Tapi makin banyak pertanyaan yang dia ajuin, makin nyebelin kelakuannya, intonasinya, ekspresinya yang cenderung ke arah ngga sopan jadinya.

You’re being cocky? Well then, meet the bitchy me!!!

3 pertanyaan terakhir aku jawab dengan nada judes. Komentarnya “Panjang banget sih nama suaminya! Ulangi!”, aku tanggepin dengan “Buat orang conge'an emang kedengerannya panjang.” Waktu dia protes karena harus ngulang pertanyaan 2x, aku semprot dengan “Makanya kalau nanya mulutnya dibuka lebar dong!”. Dia ngasih pulpen buat tandatangan, aku kembaliin dengan lemparan. Terakhir dia bilang sambil kumur-kumur “Udah.” Aku ngelengos keluar ruangan.

Buat apa berterimakasih sama orang berkelakuan kampret kaya gini! Dan yang paling nyebelin, gara-gara si kampret ini niatku untuk punya foto paspor yang nyengir lebar jadi gagal total deh! Kampret!!

Jadi begini rasanya...

Dulu aku ngga ngerti & mungkin juga sempet nganggap lebay, kalo ada seorang ibu yang bilang “Duh sedih banget ngeliat anak sakit... Mending aku aja deh yang sakit, yang demam, yang batuk, yang pilek, yang diinfus, yang ditusuk jarum suntik, yang kesakitan. Asal jangan anakku.”

Dulu aku suka bingung & mungkin juga sempet nganggap mengada-ada, kalo ada seorang ibu yang bilang “Anakku sakit. Aku semaleman ngga bisa tidur. Anakku gerak dikit ato bersuara, aku langsung bangun, panik.”

Jadi begini rasanya punya anak...

Setiap kali denger dia batuk, aku sedih. Ngeliat dia cuma bisa tiduran karena lemas, mataku berkaca-kaca. Ngeliat dia meringis karena obatnya pahit, pengen aku buang obatnya. Setiap kali meluk badannya yang panas, remuk rasanya hati ini. Nyeritain keadaannya dalam sedikit kalimat begini aja, aku beruraian airmata.

Cepat sembuh ya, cantikku. Doa Bubu ngga pernah putus buat Kukka :*

Farewell, AA-56

Never thought it would really come to this. The day when we have to say goodbye to our home of 2 years & 8 months. Forgive me for being too melancholy.

But this was our first house where we spent the days as husband & wife. Where I learned to manage a household, complete with a maid & a driver. Believe me, it ain’t easy!! :p

It was also in this house when we were struggling to have a baby. And it was on this 2nd floor where I’ve spent the first 3 months of my long-awaited pregnancy with Kukka. Oh I could still remember how I’ve dreaded those stairs :)

This is the house where Kukka had spent her first years, tasted her first food, learned her first steps & words, & most importantly, here she met her first dear friends.

And in this house is where I’m learning to be a mother.

AA-56, you have witnessed a lot of our tears, joy, laughter & most of all, love. Thank you for being our home.

We will be seeing you :)

The Reunion Diet

Facebook brings reunion back in style. Foto-foto pas reunian bertebaran di home FB. Ada yang reuni TK, ada juga yang reuni geng maen dulu. Reunion is the new black. Beberapa hari yang lalu seorang temen nanya, udah pernah ikut reuni-reunian belom. Aku bilang insya Allah baru bulan depan nanti ada reuni SMP. Terus dia nanya lagi “Persiapan elo apa aja?”

He??? Persiapan apa ya? Baju? Well I got plenty of nice clothes. Kayanya ngga perlu beli baju baru deh! :p Maybe I should get my hair done, since modelnya udah ngacir-ngacir kaya pantat bebek. Kalopun perlu siap-siap, harusnya aku ngintip profile temen-temen SMP & mulai menghafal muka & nama coz I’m sooo bad with faces & names. Tapi terus tiba-tiba dia nanya lagi “Elo udah mulai diet?”

What the..!?!?

“Bo! Kalo reuni kan bakal ketemu sama mantan-mantan pacar, fans & rival! Elo harus senantiasa tampil sexy & desirable seperti dulu dong! Let them know what they’ve been missing. Belom lagi kalo di sana banyak calon yang ‘potensial’!! Jadi diet & baju yang sip mah kudu tuh!”

....... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!

So, inikah trend diet terbaru?? Another reason for you to go on a diet? Jangan-jangan bentar lagi bakal ada iklan tempat/cara diet terbaru dengan headline picisan “Reuni sudah dekat? Tak perlu lagi diet ketat!”

Kalo emang karena pengen tampil sehat & oke sih ya sah-sah aja ya.. Dan males juga kali denger komen-komen ngga penting yang insensitive kaya “Wah, elo sekarang gemuk banget dibanding dulu!” Tapi kalo alesannya untuk bikin mantan “nyesel”, ko ya ngga penting banget hihihihihi!

So I told her, I don’t do the reunion diet, I don’t have yet the perfect outfit & I WILL bring my husband & daughter with me. Don’t hold your breath coz you ain’t gonna see me prancing around & flaunt ma booty at the reunion :p

“Bener juga sih... Elo mah ngga perlu diet kalo datengnya bawa suami yang ganteng & anak yang gemesin!”

........

So.... I'm actually fat but don't need a diet coz I'm bringing my "presentable" family? You soooo don't get my point here, girl! *tepok jidat*

Are You Raising A Brat?

I found an interesting article today. “I can’t stand brats - and the parents who (don’t) raise them”. The minute I read that article, I instantly like the author. I kept telling Diane Clehane in my head “I feel you. I really do.”

I love babies but not so crazy about 3 yrs and above. But I do like them in a tolerable way. Unlike my husband who doesn’t like children but his own. But as much as I’m friendly to kids, I can be also be a mean witch. My child or others, if they’re being a brat & nice, calm words don’t work, I never hesitate to scold them. Most of the time it works & so far I never been “attacked” by their angry parents. But if they do, I would tell it straight to their faces & say “It’s your fault.”

Yes. I do believe that how your kids behave is how you teach & show them. As far as I can remember, I was never been a little brat because my parents didn’t raise me to be one. Sure, I was kinda spoiled & cried a lot :D But I never acted out in public. I had my mom who teach me how to behave & I had my dad who I respected *afraid of* :p He rarely raised his voice on me. Even when I accidentally broke the car door. He just walked to me, looked angry & snapped his finger to my ear. I didn’t feel a thing :D It was his presence alone which made me not wanting to be a little brat.

So yes, I was never the little girl who wailed in the toy store because my mom didn’t buy me what I wanted. I never screamed & ran around inside a mosque when people were praying. I never sat facing & staring at other people in the restaurant. In many ways my parents were probably spoiling me but in some ways they also taught me discipline, the right & the wrong. Now I think I grew up pretty nicely :D I guess that’s is exactly what I want to give to my daughter too.

I love my Kukka to death. If I had the power, I would give her absolutely anything she wants. With condition, IF it’s reasonable and it’s good for her. It’s been only 1.5 years, but I do think I’m a tough mom. A couple of times Kukka would cry for no reason at all but being spoiled. She threw things & hit me or the maid. I immediately took her to my room without saying a word, put her on the bed & let her cry out until she’s exhausted. During a pause I asked her “Are you done? If you are, you can play again outside & be a sweet girl.” Kukka acted out again & I let her be. I was able to ignore her hugs, her puppy-eyed look & funny blabber. I was being a mean mom :p I told her I didn’t want her. Not until she would stop crying & be a sweet girl again. And voila! She did. She walked to me & hugged me. No more crying :)

Some people would think that I’m being unreasonable. But I know my daughter. One thing I’ve learned about motherhood is never underestimate your child. Don’t think that she doesn’t understand what you’re saying because she does. She might act like she doesn’t but deep down she’s able to grasp the meaning of it.

I realize that we’re having a handful child here. She’s going to be a tough girl to handle. Many time my husband & I would talk about how Kukka’s going to be when she’s a teenager. We would sigh & be desperate for a second :p Like any other mothers, I have my worries. But lucky me I have a husband who shares the same belief in raising a child. So I’m pretty confident that with Allah’s guidance, my husband & family’s support, I can raise my daughter to be a beautiful little woman inside & out. Amin.

2010

No, this post is not about my new year’s resolution. Come to think of it, I never make any kind of resolution. It’s only January 5th 2010 but already big things are happening in my life.

This month we will be spending our last days in our little house in Emerald Townhouse AA-56. Because in Feb, we will be staying at my brother in law’s house in Kota Wisata for a couple of months. Cibubur... That should be an adventure :D After that, insya Allah when it's ready, we will move into our new lovely home at Emerald Garden. Can’t hardly wait for that!

What else? Oh yeah, we also bought a new car! It’s a family car and our first “brand new” car. I’m so excited! I already imagine driving it and taking Kukka for a spin. Well, actually it’s the driver who drives but it’s totally the same thing :p

Another big thing is my baby is getting bigger, obviously :) So big she refuses to be breastfed & pick a chocolate UHT milk instead :D So that’s one more big thing for me. I no longer breastfeed Kukka. It’s sad but to think that I had the privilege to give her ASI for 1.5 years, I could only be grateful :)

Kukka is way smarter than I thought. She picks things up like new words easily. I keep reminding my husband to watch his language around Kukka coz she could imitate the word just like that! I think it wouldn’t be long until the words that are coming out of her mouth have real meanings :D

As for my other half, he’s also doing great. He’s making cool & funny ads (another one will be on air on Jan 7th), he’s healthy & I do think he’s happy. I like the fact that he’s having fun at work. But why I love him even more is that he also love to spend time with his wife & daughter. Whenever he has the time, he chooses us. Well, actually he chooses to be with Kukka but since she & I are a package, that doesn’t give him any choice :p

Oh, my sister also plays a big part in making my 2010 fun :) She came to visit us all the way from Canada. I’m trying to spend lots of time with her since I’m no longer tied up with office hours. Yesterday we went to Sukabumi to visit our grandma. That was a fun road trip. I’m looking forward to spend more time with her until Jan 15th.

Only one thing that makes me sad tho. 2 days ago my dad was submitted to the hospital & he is still there. He’s doing great but still... It’s a heartbreaking sight to see him lying on the hospital bed. If he wasn’t sick, he would be in Senayan City or Pacific Place, enjoying life by eating plates of delicious sushi at Sushi Tei. I can only pray that he will be healthy again. Maybe Kukka & I should take him out for a lunch at Sushi Tei. He would love that. He always lights up when he sees Kukka.

It’s only Jan 5th but big things are happening as I speak. Alhamdulillah...

FENOMENA ABABIL

Akhir-akhir ini sering inget waktu masih ABG dulu, which was a very, very, very long time ago :D Hidup kayanya seneng-seneng terus. Kalopun ditimpa masalah, paling parah “cuma” gara-gara patah hati. Emang sih dunia serasa ambruk & ngga ada harapan hidup lagi. Tapi begitu udah punya pacar baru, life went on as fast as lightning on a stormy night :p

So yes, I still think ABG’s life was simpler back then. Why? Well, we didn’t spend our time FBing, BBMing, YMing or tweeting, which means more real, human-life socializing. We didn't need the latest BlackBerry or iPhone. We didn’t have the need to update our status every single minute. We didn’t have to show our existence by posting cool “lomo”-ish pictures in FB. Sementara ABG yang aku liat sekarang?

Well, okay. Yang rajin update status, posting pictures ato tweeting bukan ABG doang :p Tapi sampe hari ini, aku belom ketemu tuh yang “seumuran” minta di-like statusnya :)) Paling minta di-follow :p So, if you pay attention to ABG’s language in FB or Twitter, term-term kaya gini pasti ngga asing lagi:

“Gue baru update status! Like-in dong!”
“Like-in foto gue dong!”
“Sepi banget! Mention dong!!”
“Yang masih bangun jam segini, RT!”

Hihihihihi! Seriously! These terms crack me up all the time!!! Apparently, semua itu berhubungan dengan eksistensi, which is very, very important buat ABABIL. Ya ngga? :)

And when they do have “serious” problems, social networking sites could make things nastier. Saling menjelekkan & perang status lah... Caci-maki di Twitter lah... Makin mengerikan karena bahasa yang mereka pake juga ngga tanggung-tanggung. Mereka berani & bebas banget berekspresi. Eventho they know that their parents are in their friends’ list :D

Mikirin ABG jaman sekarang mau ngga mau jadi mikirin ABG jaman nanti. Jaman Kukka kalo ABG nanti tepatnya. One word. SEREEEEEEEEEEEEM!!!! :D Model cewe ABG kaya apa dia nanti, what her friends will be like, what sort of things she will into. Tiap liat anak perempuan yang menuju dewasa sekarang jadi selalu bertanya-tanya: Kukka bakal hang out di tempat kaya gini juga ngga ya? Kukka bakal pake baju model itu juga ngga ya? And on and on and on. *sigh* Well.... I guess I just have to wait & see & pray, that whatever type of ABG Kukka will become, she will be a kind-hearted, shalihah little woman :)

And besides, Kukka’s mother is already sign up in almost every kind of social networking sites & she’s a god damn good stalker hihihihihi :p

A Wise Man Said...

A dear friend is in grief. Kaka tersayangnya harus cerai dari suaminya karena si suami selingkuh. Temenku & keluarganya bener-bener terpukul & sedih banget. Mereka bener-bener ngga nyangka bahwa keluarga mereka sampe harus ada yang pisah kaya gitu. Tapi dengan bijak, suami temenku menimpali. And I quote:

“Nah itu salahnya.. Perpisahan itu sesuatu yang mutlak akan terjadi. Penyebabnya cuma 2, meninggal dan cerai. Harusnya kita bisa mikir bahwa sesuatu bisa terjadi, termasuk perceraian. Kalo kita mikir gitu, insya Allah kita akan selalu berusaha menghindari kesalahan sekecil apapun. Sehingga kesalahan yang ada ngga numpuk dan akhirnya muntah sehingga terjadi perceraian.”

Denger kalimat ini, terus terang aku ternganga :D Terpesona abisss... Apalagi mengingat setelan suami temenku ini hihihi... Personally, I think it was very well said. Nobody said marriage is easy & obviously, nobody can predict what would or could happen in the future. All we could do is being the best spouse one should deserve. Treat the other half the way you want to be treated. Setelah itu, akan selalu ada 2 ending. Happily ever after or fucked up in the middle of the journey.

Temenku bilang, susah ya jadi suami-istri jaman sekarang. Banyak banget godaan & cobaannya. Batasan antar temen lain jenis semakin samar. Sun-sunan & panggilan Sayang-Cantik-Ganteng-Sexy-Babe begitu murah diobral. Bikin ngeles jadi gampang, kalo ke-gep sama pasangan lagi imel-imelan ato chatting pake embel-embel “Cantik” ato “Baby”. “Ah, itu kan cuma becandaan antar temen aja. Sama yang lain juga aku gitu!”, kata si tukang selingkuh. Pasangannya cuma bisa sedih sendiri. Emang bener juga sih... Tapi itu juga artinya setiap kali panggilan sayang itu ditujukan buat dia, jadi ngga spesial sama sekali... Belom lagi soal pelukan. Asik-asik aja gitu meluk suami/istri orang. Alasannya kalo ngga lagi mabok, ya biar dibilang gaul & akrab. Ngga kepikir sama sekali gimana perasaan pasangan masing-masing di luar sana. Yang dipeluk sama aja. Ngelesnya ngga enak nanti kalo nolak ato emang doyan. Padahal kalo kita tegas karena benar, aku rasa ngga masalah. Kalo marah, ya emang dianya aja yang edan :p Dan kaya masalah masih kurang banyak, ada lagi satu yang selalu menghantui: masalah M A N T A N.

Aku bilang... Lillahi ta'ala aja... Kalo ngga, bisa sakit jiwa :)

Word In Progress - 1

• Apa
• Bapa
• Syapa
• Bu
• Buku
• Yaya (Buaya)
• Bebe (Blackberry)
  
• Nenen
• Mamam
• Mimi
• Gigi
• Bebi
  
• Kaka

-Kukka, 15 mos

Neverending Problem: MANTAN

Sedikit disingkat ceritanya, temenku. Si Wati, ngebikinin account Facebook untuk suaminya, Si Budi. For some reason, Wati nge-set supaya semua notification yang masuk untuk suaminya masuk ke e-mail di Blackberry-nya dia. So, she knows everything from photo comments to messages in her hubby’s FB inbox. Nothing harmful. Her hubby seemed to enjoy facebooking.

Until one day Wati received a message. Well, actually her husband’s received it. My friend just had the chance to read it before he does :D Message itu dari mantannya Budi waktu SMA. Wati pernah ketemu & dikenalin. Tapi ya sebatas itu aja. Trus ngga pernah ada kelanjutannya karena Budi juga ngga pernah ketemu lagi. Tau darimana? Dari isi message si mantan, of course :) “Hi Budi! Kemana aja? Apa kabar?”

Dibaleslah sama Si Budi, yang ngga tau bahwa di ujung sana Wati lagi deg-degan :D One message lead to another. Si Mantan, kita sebut aja namanya Susi :D, makin rajin nge-message. Kata Wati sih yang diobrolin gitu-gitu aja. Dan yang bikin Wati sedikit lega juga tanggapan Budi yang biasa aja. FYI Susi ini menyebut dirinya dengan “aku” & nge-refer suaminya Wati dengan “Budi”. “Budi nanti ikut reuni ngga? Aku mau dateng juga”, contohnya. Nah, Wati lega bahwa suaminya ngga ikut-ikutan ber-aku-aku, yang I admit it is disturbing when your other half is one of those people. Oh and yes, Budi ikutan reuni. Dan apparently so was this chick. Wati tau karena abis reuni, Susi nge-message lagi. “Budi kemaren pulang jam berapa? Aku pulang duluan.” Sama Budi ngga dibales. Sibuk kali ya :)

Nah tapiiii...ada beberapa message-nya Susi yang langsung di-delete Wati SEBELUM dibaca sama Budi. Why? Karena menurut Wati, isinya “berbahaya” & bisa menjurus ke hal-hal yang ngga diinginkan. Kaya minta nomor teleponnya Budi, salah satunya. Untuk mengenal “lawannya”, mulailah Wati ngelacak Susi lewat FB :D “Kayanya dia bermasalah deh sama keluarganya. Ngga ada foto anak, suami. Isinya foto dugem semua sama dia pake baju-baju sexy.”, laporan Wati pagi tadi. And then she asked me if she’s being irrational & paranoid.

Hmm... Sesaat aku ngerasa bukan orang yang tepat untuk dimintain pendapat masalah mantan or jealousy. Scara di sini juga jealous-an, parnoan & bermasalah dengan hubungan suami & para mantannya :))) Takutnya ngasih komen yang subyektif & provokatif hihihih...! But I told her this:

It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling right now. It’s totally normal. You should be cautious coz we never know what’s going to happen. And many times, it’s the other woman who’s causing this commotion. While your beloved is being the best spouse you could ever wish for. But becoz of this chick, you could end up having an unnecessary fight with your beloved. Next thing you know, the thing you feared most is happening. You do have the ability to do your best to prevent the things you don’t want to happen. But deleting his messages is certainly not one of them :) If Budi happens to find out what you did, don’t you think he would be furious? Right now you have this “luxury” to know almost everything Budi is doing in his FB account. Don’t be greedy :) See what will happen from there. Insya Allah nothing will :)

My dear friend agreed. She also said, reading those messages made her love Budi even more. She immediately called Budi & asked him for a dinner date while we were chatting :) I told her funny how things in relationship work, eh... It’s sad that we have to feel treatened of losing first to appreaciate the people that we love.

Now, FYI i wrote this becoz Wati requested me to do it. She wanted your opinions about her problem. So please be kind & share your thoughts ya... On behalf of Wati, I thank you in advance :)

Are You My Friend?

How do you define a friend?

Is it someone who always spends time & hang out with you? Is it someone whom you always call when you need a shoulder to cry on or if you simply need a friend to go lunch with? Is it someone who knows all your dark secrets? Is he the first person you buzz/ping after your significant other? Can you pour your heart out without filtering anything or afraid that she might judge you? Is it someone whom you’ve been together with for a long time thru thick & thin?

What are the rules if you want to be somebody’s friend?

Do you have to call him everyday? Do you have to update her with every bits of your daily life? Do you have to go shopping or see every chick flick together? Are you allowed to say “Go to hell!” or “Fuck you!” once in awhile & 5 minutes later you have coffee together? Do you need to put your mask on? Or can you stand in front of her completely nude? And if you couldn’t do all those things, are the two/three/four of you still considered as friends?

I’ve learned that best friends stab each other's back.
I’ve learned that you do have to wear a mask & watch every word that’s coming out of your mouth.
I’ve learned that jealousy is well hidden behind warm hugs.
I’ve learned that ironically, a best friend can be the one who’s most judgmental.
I’ve learned that promises are broken with a carefree smile.
I’ve learned that secrets are shared to those who are not supposed to know.
I’ve learned that you can’t be your complete self with your so-called friend.
I’ve learned that the amount of time you’ve spend together with him doesn’t have anything to do with the relationship.

Because I’ve also learned that a total stranger can become a “true” friend in a heartbeat.

The Day I Cried

Hari ini aku nangis. Nangis sejadi-jadinya. Di depan anakku yang tadinya lagi ketawa-ketawa. Ekspresinya berubah jadi muka penuh tanda tanya. Aku peluk dia & nangis lebih keras lagi.

Hari ini hari kedua Kukka nolak disusuin. Pas aku buka-bukaan sih mukanya hepi banget. Sambil ajrut-ajrutan di kasur, tepuk tangan dll. Tapi begitu aku deketin ke mulutnya, Kukka cuma cengar-cengir lebar. Biasanya dia langsung nyamber. Ini malah diliatin, dipegang-pegang, dijilat dikit-dikit (tau dong yang aku maksud apa? :p). Trus Kukka ketawa-ketawa geli sambil memicingkan mata trus mulutnya ditutup pake 2 tangannya. Mimik mukanya ngeledek trus dia pergi.

Laaaaaaaaaaah???? Apa-apaan iniiiii????? Kemaren juga kejadiannya persis kaya gitu. Tapi aku masih cuek meskipun agak heran juga. Seharian dia ngga nagih disusuin. Nah, hari ini bener-bener nunjukkin bahwa dia ngga mau nyusu. Malah ketawa-ketawa menjauh. BuSYeeeeeeeeet udah seperempat bugil begini ditolaaaaak!

Huaaaaaahuhuhuhuuuuu!!!! :(( This is probably the saddest day of my life! *hiberbola* Ngeliat ibunya nangis, Kukka langsung nyamperin. She looked at me straight in the eyes dengan mimik serius (I should’ve took a pic of it!), Kukka bilang “Apa? Apa? babyblabberbabyblabberbabyblabber”. Ngga kuat juga nahan ketawa :D I hugged her & asked “Kukka kenapa ngga mau nyusu? Is it because you’re a big girl now? Coz if you are, give Ibu some time to prepare mentally ya?” Altho I know I will never be mentally ready to see my baby growing up :D She stared at me. And then she said seriously “babyblabberbabyblabber”. Aku ngangguk “Oke, oke.” aja. Abis gitu aku ditinggal keluar kamar :))

I remember waktu itu pernah berencana menyapih Kukka kalo dia udah setaun. Tapi sampe 15 bulan kurang seminggu, Kukka tetep aku susuin meskipun frekuensinya berkurang. Lah, sekarang malah aku yang disapih sama Kukka :))) Talk about irony!

Insya Allah hari ini & besok aku masih mau usaha nawarin lagi. Syukur-syukur Kukka masih mau karena sebenernya aku pengen nyusuin sampe dia 2 tahun. Tapi kalo nanti dia nolak juga, yaaa....apa boleh buat. I’ll be heartbroken, of course. But I guess I should be grateful since I’ve succeeded to breastfeed Kukka for more than a year. Alhamdulillah :)

Surviving Chickenpox

Kaget juga Kukka dibilang kena cacar air. She's only 14 months. I always thought cacar air itu penyakit anak TK ato SD (eventho aku sendiri kenanya pas jaman kuliah :D). I went to 2 pediatricians. Dua-duanya bilang Kukka positif kena cacar air. Kemungkinan ketularannya pas lebaran. Untungnya 2 bulan sebelumnya Kukka udah divaksin Varicella. Jadi kenanya ngga terlalu parah. In fact, the spots didn't look like chickenpox at all...

Berawal dari daya tahan tubuhnya menurun karena ibu dan bapanya kena pilek. Sedikit-sedikit Kukka mulai ketularan. Bersin, idung meler. Lama-lama badannya anget. Dikasih obat penurun panas & obat pilek. Tapi suatu pagi pas bangun tidur suhunya 38.1C. I saw a couple of red blisters yang mirip insect bites. Sekelilingnya merah trus tengahnya ada bump merah kecil. I counted them all to see whether they'd multiplied or not. Abis mandi sore aku cek lagi. Yes, they multiplied. Di dada, perut, kulit kepala, telapak kaki & beberapa di muka kaya jerawat. Sambil panik aku bawa ke RSI Bintaro karena dokternya Kukka ngga praktek sore itu. Besoknya aku bawa ke dokternya Kukka. Diagnosanya sama: cacar air. Dokter Utami Rusli bilang 2-3 ke depan blisters-nya ini akan berair & gatel banget. I waited for the bump filled with clear fluid to appear. It never came. Alhamdulillah...

Yang ada, spot-spot merahnya pada ilang. Yang "jerawat" pada mengering, ngga sampe keluar air. Kukka juga ngga pernah keliatan gatel atau lemes. Seperti biasa dia ngoceh, nari, lari, jumpalitan ajol-ajolan. Sama sekali ngga kaya anak sakit :D Padahal obatnya sengaja dikasih yang bikin ngantuk supaya bisa istirahat. Ternyata ngga ngaruh sama sekali!! Dia lebih keliatan "sakit" karena aku larang main keluar rumah daripada gara-gara chickenpox-nya :D

Today is Day 4. Mukanya udah mulus lagi. Cuma ada 1-2 spot yang kering dan belum ngeletek. Suhu tubuhnya udah normal lagi dari hari ke-2. And since Day 2, Kukka doesn't look sick at all. Bingung juga kita. Ini anak beneran sakit cacar air ato ngga sih? Kalo iya, emang bener sembuhnya secepet ini?? Emang sih, dokternya bilang karena Kukka udah divaksin, jadi dia lebih cepet sembuh. But 2 days only?? Is it possible?? Sampe sekarang Kukka masih aku larang keluar rumah. Padahal bapa dan anak udah sama-sama gatel pengen jalan-jalan :D Baeknya gimana yaa??? Should I wait sampe seminggu, ato cuek aja aku ajak nonton sirkus hari ini?? :D


UPDATE 8/10/2009

Ternyata Kukka bukan kena cacar air!! Tapi kena folliculitis. Insya Allah ngga membahayakan & menular :)

Hati-Hati Penipuan: A True Story

Judul boleh basi, tapi isi dijamin berguna! Terutama bagi yang (berencana) jual rumah.

Semua berawal dari masang plang FOR SALE di depan rumah, lengkap dengan nomor HPku. Sabtu sore seorang ibu “Desi” telepon. Dia bilang lagi di depan rumah & tertarik sama rumah kita. I told her I wasn’t home but we could meet on Monday so I could show her around the house. She said okay, let’s make a date.

Hari Minggu kemarin jam 10:24 AM aku dapet telepon dari nomor 081280757969. Pa Arif namanya. Suaranya berwibawa, santun & sangat “islami”.

“Asswrwb. Selamat siang, bu. Kemarin istri saya, Desi, lihat rumah ibu. Kami sedang mencari rumah karena saya dipindahtugas ke Bintaro. Dijual berapa ya? Saya mau tawar harga. Siapa tahu transaksi ini membawa berkah buat Ibu & saya. Sekarang saya sedang di Surabaya tapi saya percaya dengen penilaian istri saya blablabla.”

“Oh, iya Pa! Harganya 610jt. Saya sudah janjian dengan Ibu Desi untuk lihat dalamnya.”

“Ngga perlu, bu! Istri saya sudah cocok katanya dengan lokasinya. Denahnya kurang lebih sama kan dengan rumah tetangga?”

Sambil bingung aku oper BBku ke Ica. Tawar-menawar harga is not my deparment. Yang paling bikin bingung, beli rumah ko ngga mau liat kondisi dalemnya dulu ya?

Long story short, percakapan intens terjadi antara Ica, Bapa (mertuaku) & Arif ini. Dari harga 610jt dia tawar 600jt BERSIH! Pajak pembeli, penjual, biaya notaris dll dia yang tanggung. Mau masuk bulan November. Sekarang dia mau DP 50jt. As precaution we gave him Ica’s account number yang jarang diisi. Maksudnya kalo sampe ada apa-apa, isinya “cuma” 150rb ini...

Beberapa saat kemudian si bapa itu telp Ica. Udah ditransfer katanya. 50jt udah terdebit dari rekening dia. Tapi struknya ngga keluar. Dia minta Ica ngecek ke ATM. Ternyata belom ada. Arif bilang dia mau telepon HALO BCA. Ngga lama kemudian dia telepon Ica lagi. Katanya bener udah ketransfer tapi karena struknya ngga keluar jadi ke-pending. Dia minta Ica untuk ngga nutup telepon sementara dia ngehubungin HALO BCA lagi. Ica hung up on him & BBM aku: “penipu nih!” Soon he called Ica again, asked why Ica hung up & asked him not to. As pissed as he was, Ica decided to play along.

Kedengeran suara dari speaker phone gitu: “Selamat datang di HALO BCA blablabla...” Kedengeran juga suara si Arif itu ngobrol dengan “customer service officer” BCA yang bernama Edi Junaedi. The whole conversation sounded pretty convincing kata Ica. It was something Arif said tho, which blew his cover even more. “Saya dengan Pa Arif yang tadi telepon soal blablabla” Selama nelepon customer service, berapa kali dalam sejarah bisa dapet officer yang sama??? Lalu Arif minta Ica untuk bicara langsung sama si CSO gadungan itu. Percakapan melalui telepon berubah seperti Party Call. Katanya si cso transferan “KE-PENDING” selama 2-3 hari. Kalo mau masuk ke rekening Ica, diharapkan kerjasamanya dengan si Arif edun itu. Yang dimaksud dengan "kerjasama" pastinya seputar "Bapa transfer dulu sekian rupiah ke nomor rekening ini nanti blablabla".

Meskipun Ica udah kesel banget, dia tetep ngedengerin omongan 2 makhluk nista. Later Ica said to me “Aku dengerin aja terus. Itung-itung ngabisin pulsa si tukang tipu itu. That’s the least I could do to get back at them.” :D

Moral of the story?

Penipu ada dimana-mana, malah semakin banyak. Siapapun bisa kena, tanpa kecuali. Mau bulan puasa kek, mau ngga, masa bodo. Namanya orang jahat, dia ngga akan peduli kondisi kita gimana. Yang penting bisa dapet uang. Makanya, kita mesti hati-hati banget dan jangan kalah pinter sama si penipu. Aware sama sekeliling & mau belajar tentang “proses” yang mau kita jalanin (in my case, jual-beli rumah). Se-BU apapun, coba jangan terlalu cepat tergiur dengan tawaran yang sepertinya "too good to be true". Jangan berhenti berdoa & selalu minta petunjuk-Nya. Also don’t judge a book by its cover. Si kampret ini ngomongnya santun & seperti yang aku bilang, “islami”. Oya, terus ada baiknya juga kalo ngasih nomor telepon di iklan, jangan nomor yang “aktif” kali ya? Use your CDMA number or other GSM number yang less personal. Aku nyesel banget nih dah keburu masang nomor HPku :(

Pada akhirnya, kalo merasa semua udah dijalanin, pasrah & ikhlas. Dalam kasus ini, aku bersyukur & berterimakasih sama Allah karena selama ini selalu dilindungi & dihindari dari orang-orang yang jahat. Insya Allah, kamu juga selalu berada dalam lindungan-Nya. Amin.

Aaaargh!!!

Ngga abis pikir deh! Kenapa yaaaaaa pembantu itu selalu "BISA" merusak benda-benda yang paling sederhana sekalipun!?!?!?! Dari tadi mencoba memeras otak yang lagi kelaperan ini... Penasaran pengen tau aktifitas sesederhana membuka pager bayi (safety gate) ko bisa sampe bikin copot & dinding sampe jebol yaaa?!?!?!??!?!? Diapain sih bukanya??? Sekuat apa sih ngebukanya??? Ini udah kejadian yang kedua kali lho dia ngejebol safety gate-nya Kukka. And now we're running out of space untuk ngebor yang baru.

Ya Allah.... Sumpah deh... Cobaan code name #PEMBANTU ini mantep benerrrr... :)


PS: Ehm... Ya Allah, kalo marah-marah di blog ngga ngurangin pahala puasa kaaan???? :D

Nyanyian Doa

Kukka Aiko
Anak pintar
Dan penyabar


Pipinya gembil
Hidung kecil
Bibir mungil


Kukka Aiko
Anak ramah
Dan shalihah


Kukka Aiko
Anak sehat, kuat dan bulat

My personal version of "Oh Amelia"
Been singing this to Kukka since she was still a tiny baby

NIN

Berani ngehayal aja ngga... Bisa liat performance Trent Reznor even SEKALI SEUMUR HIDUP!!! But then again...

I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DIIIIIIID!!!! :)))

August 10th was a historical date for me. Well, actually it started in August 9th :) For the very first time, aku & Ica naek pesawat & turun di negeri orang :D Selama ini paling turun di Bali - Lombok - Medan. Aku udah kemana-mana, Ica udah kemana-mana. Tapi ngga pernah berdua :) This time, we did it. And it was even better. We went to Singapore with our beloved little girl. Couldn’t get any better than that! ;)

Tiket NIN udah aku beli dari April. Hey, it was on presale! It stated “PRIORITY ENTRY”!! :D Semakin deket Hari H, semakin sibuk aku nyari hotel, pesawat, dan paling penting, temen yang bisa dititipin Kukka & pembantu selama kita nonton konser :D Luckily my brother has a very nice friend. So, urusan Kukka aman! We went to Fort Canning Park with a peaceful mind.

Waktu liat stage-nya, ngga seperti aku bayangin sih... It was kinda small & standard. The venue itself was small & the crowd size wasn’t like I’ve imagined. And I was very happy of it!! Artinya, aku bisa ngeliat si akang TR nyanyi dengan jelas, tanpa berdesakan ato takut kejepit. It felt kinda...intimate :) Sepersekian detik sebelum aku liat TR di atas stage, aku masih belom berani ngebayangin bahwa dia bakal ada DI SITU. Aku masih mikir, okay anything could happen. He could fall, got a sore throat, something exploded, hurricane otw, etc. Masih ada kemungkinan konser ini NGGA JADI.

But... IT DID IT DID IT DID IT DIIIIID!!! :D

It was FLAWLESS. His voice was INCREDIBLE. His stamina was SUPERB. His choice of songs were SUPER AWESOME. And during the whole thing my husband was right behind me, making sure I was safe & enjoyed myself.

It was PERFECT.

Udah lama pulang ngga sekumel & se”peliket” itu hihihi... But it was worth it. Selesai konser aku & Ica pulang ke Novotel Liang Court, yang untungnya ada di other side of the park. Asik juga... Jalan kaki berdua di pinggir jalan negeri orang. It was romantic :) Begitu sampe di hotel, kita nunggu Kukka di-drop sama Mas John. She was already asleep. Tired of having too much fun with Mas John’s daughters. I assumed her day was great too :)

3 days 2 nights wasn’t enough tho. Masih banyak tempat yang ngga sempet dikunjungin. Padahal dari rumah udah bikin plan mau kemana aja. Yang kesampean cuma liat Merlion. Itupun karena PRT begging “harus” ke sana. Katanya pengen foto deket si singa buat pamer di kampung nanti :p

A Tearful Evening

Temen mainnya Kukka, Laurel/Olel, 2 tahun, meninggal dunia sore ini. Tadinya aku kira cuma gosip ngga lucu atau tetangga yang ngasih tau misinformed. Tapi beberapa menit setelah dapet kabar itu, di milis Emerald ada pemberitahuannya. Bener ternyata... Olel meninggal karena muntaber. Aku langsung pergi ke rumahnya yang hanya berjarak 5 rumah dari kita. Tetangga-tetangga udah banyak yang ngumpul. Langsung sibuk bantu ini-itu.

Aku berdiri lama di teras. Maksudnya mau mikir dulu, mau ngomong apa nanti kalo ketemu sama mamanya Olel. I’m never good at this. I always think that there’s nothing you can say to make the person who suffers such a tremendous loss to feel better in any way. Aku takut salah ngomong. Takut salah berekspresi. Should I smile for comfort? Should I put a sad face? Should I put a straight face? Should I show up at all? Akhirnya aku memberanikan diri masuk ke kamar tempat Olel dibaringkan.

There she was, still looking cute and pretty, with her mother by her side. Holding her, stroking her hair, kissing her, whispering sweet words in her ears. I couldn’t help not to cry. I hugged Olel’s mother without saying a word. She wasn’t crying. She thanked me and whispered to her daughter’s ear “Liat nih, Olel... Tante-tante pada dateng. Maaf ya tante, Olel belum mandi.”

Ya Allah...

I only saw Olel when she was playing at our house a couple of times. She usually took an afternoon walk with Kukka around the cluster, just like yesterday. Mostly I heard cute stories about her from my maid. She wasn’t my baby. She wasn’t a relative. But it didn’t stop me from crying when I saw her tonight. Because she was just a little girl.

And I have a little girl...

The last time I saw Olel playing was at Kukka’s birthday bash. She was riding odong-odong right beside my girl. I even took a picture of them. Olel looked excited and very serious. Maybe it was the first time she saw an odong-odong :) I sure hope I had the chance to make her happy...

Goodbye pretty girl...
Thank you for being such a sweet friend to Kukka.
And thank you for reminding us,
How important it is to spend time with your loved ones,
And show them the love we have when we still have the chance.
Now have fun and go play with the angels :*

A Mother's Prayer

May Allah SWT bless you with a pure and kind heart,
That goes along with a beautiful face and the prettiest smile.

May Allah SWT give you an intelligent mind and incredible strength,
That will help you survive in this big - fun - yet sometimes mean - world.

May Allah SWT guide your gentle hands to help those who need it,
And grant you a melodious voice to say your prayers.

Happy 1st birthday, my sweet, sweet little angel.

Always remember that in every breath I take,
There's love and never ending prayers,
Only for you.

Tragedi Buah Apel

Beberapa hari yang lalu aku belanja di Kem Chicks Pacific Place. Pas lagi masuk-masukin kantong belanjaan ke trolley, I heard 2 middle aged/old women talking with quite loud voices. Salah satu dari mereka lagi megangin apel warna merah. Yang satu lagi megang kantong belanjaan. Di depan mereka ada petugas Kem Chicks cowo bermuka bingung sambil cengengesan panik :D Aku kira mereka lagi ngomelin si petugas Kem Chicks. Tapi ko pake nunjuk-nunjuk ke spanduk segala ya? Ngga biasanya aku penasaran. Akhirnya aku pasang telinga. Ngga lama kemudian aku ngabur sambil dorong trolley yang isinya Kukka & kantong belanjaan. Sambil ngabur, aku ngakak sendiri. Well, ngga sendiri banget sih! Kukka was there but that’s irrelevant :D Want to know what I’ve heard? Begini kira-kira (promosi benerannya aku lupa :D) :

Ibu 1: Ngga bisa begitu dong, mas! Saya kan cuma ngikutin apa kata promosi di sini!

Mas Kem Chicks: Iya, bu. Tapi buahnya tertentu saja. Apel itu tidak termasuk.

Ibu 2: Lho! Gimana sih, mas! Yang bener dong kalo promosi!

Mas Kem Chicks: Iya, bu. Mohon maaf. Mungkin bisa diganti dengan buah yang lain?

Ibu 1: Ogah ah! Saya maunya ini! Liat tuh! Di gambar itu juga ada buah apelnya kan? Ada 4 biji! Berarti saya boleh dong ambil 4! *nunjuk gambar kantong belanjaan isi buah apel 4 biji & buah lain*

Mas Kem Chicks: Tapi itu cuma gambar, bu... Promosi sebenarnya itu...

Ibu 2: Salah situ dong! Bikin gambar kok ngga konsisten sama promosi yang situ bikin! Gimana sih! Kita sih ngikutin gambar aja! Di gambarnya begitu, ya udah begitu!

I looked up & there it was. Banner promo dengan headline besar & gambar kantong belanjaan besar berisi buah-buahan. Aku yakin si art director ato siapapun yang bikin banner itu ngga bakalan nyangka bahwa hasil disainnya jadi masalah kaya gini :D Siapa sangka, akan ada customer yang minta PERCISSS seperti yang ada di gambar! Sampe ke jumlah, jenis & warnanya!! :)))

Udah setaun lebih aku ninggalin dunia akhensi & ngga sekalipun pernah kangen sama salah satu kliennya :D Tapi gara-gara insiden ini aku jadi pengen minta maaf.

Maaf kalo aku sering mikir bahwa klien suka mengada-ngada.
Maaf aku suka nganggap kekhawatiran klien sering amat sangat berlebihan.
Maaf kalo aku pernah nuduh klien suka nganggap konsumen bodoh.
Maaf kalo aku sering nganggap klien suka ngga make sense keinginannya.
Maaf kalo aku sebel sama klien yang ngerasa ngerti banget isi otak konsumen.

Maaf maaf maaf. Ternyata Anda benar.

Di luar sana, ternyata ADA orang-orang yang seperti si Ibu 1 & Ibu 2. Sekarang aku percaya. Peace ya! :D

On The Market: Your dream house for Rp 650mio

Emerald Townhouse Blok AA-56, Bintaro Jaya Sektor IX

2-stories dream home, SHM, LT: 84, LB: 89

Downstairs:
1 master bedroom with parquet flooring
1 bathroom
1 bedroom for maid + 1 bathroom,

Upstairs:
2 bedrooms
1 bathroom

Semi furnished:
4 Air Conditioners
Water Heater
Kitchen set
Credenza
Small storage room
Computer desk
Pergola
Window grids + Roller blinds

More pics in my Facebook album.

Interested? Leave comments here anytime ;)

Ber-3 di 33

Diawali seperti taun-taun sebelumnya, aku “ngerayain” ulang taun berdua sama Ica. Menjelang midnite, di tempat tidur kita berkutat sama komputer masing-masing. Then Ica went downstairs to get his midnite snack, usually some chocolates & a can of coke :p I was completely drowned in the virtual world. Still, the corner of my eyes caught the sudden darkness in our living room. He??? Mati lampu?? Ngejepret? Bohlamnya wear out? Padahal baru diganti...

Beberapa detik kemudian, I saw some light. Candle lights. And there he was... My sweet, sweet husband, holding a candle-lit-heart-shaped birthday ice cake, while singing “Happy Birthday” to me, right on the stroke of midnite...

What happened next, udah ketebak :D I cried happily. I hugged him & wished Kukka could see what a sweet dad she has. Beberapa menit kemudian Kukka bangun, demanding her midnite snack. I breastfed her & hold her tight. NOW, my birthday is perfect :)

Oh, how wrong I was :p It turned out I got to spend the whoooole day with my hubby & baby! Katanya aku mau dibawa ke tempat “surprise” :D And what a surprise it was!!!! Thanks to Ica, now I have a birthday present that (could) lasts forever!!! Hihihihhi! Sampe H+3 ini aja it still feels surreal. Man... I could’ve never guess this one! :) Then we went to dinner at Emilie. Perfect meal to end the day ;)

Kukka seemed to enjoy my birthday too. Soalnya selain ada Ibu, Si Bapa juga always in her sight. Menghilang sedetik dari jarak pandangnya, langsung deh keluar suara manja “Bapa?” :p Di tempat kado she had a great time too. She made some new “cool & unique” friends heheh...

After putting my baby to sleep & watching my husband doing his thing, it got me thinking. I remembered my 32nd birthday blog. I was still 8mos pregnant with Kukka. I remembered thinking that if Allah gave me time to reach 33, it would be perfect because I got to celebrate it with the people who make me “alive”: my husband & my baby daughter. And now, that is exactly how I’m feeling.

I'm alive. Alhamdulillahi robilallamin...

"A man and a woman had a little baby
Yes they did,
There were three in the family
That's the magic number"

- Blind Melon -

33

Alhamdulillah...
I'm 33 and I'm happy!!! :)

Rencana (Jangan Cuma), Oh Rencana

Insya Allah, kalo Kukka setaun nanti (July 16th), ASI-nya mau di-stop. Lama-lama gigi-gigi kecilnya semakin buas soalnya :D So, I suspect that it would mean that I would finally have more time for myself. Ada banyak hal yang pengen aku kerjain. Ada rencana yang udah mulai basi karena udah lama banget direncanain :p Ada juga yang baru-baru ini kepikiran. So, here goes:

Les piano
Dulu sempet les 2 taunan. I loved it & still love playing it at my parents’ house. Tapi kemampuannya nanggung. Sekedar bisa, masih jauh dari jago. Dulu obsesiku bisa maenin Für Elise. Now it’s Moonlight Sonata. Syukur-syukur bisa mastering SEMUA musiknya Beethoven :) Nah, yang jadi masalah, ngga ada piano di rumah. Sementara kalo beli, ngga murah juga :( So, I guess this would be a long time plan.

Kursus masak
Rencana yang udah dibikin dari taun kapan :D Tapi baru sampe step browsing nyari info tempat kursus masak. Belom pernah direalisasiin tapi masih tetep pengen :)

Kursus make-up
Yayayayaaaa! I knoooow! It’s soo not me. Tapi emang kenapa :p FYI aja nih yaaaaa!! Aku udah punya rok bunga-bunga 3 biji!!! Dan itu bukan rok untuk ke kawinan. Tapi untuk jalan-jalaaan!! See, see!! ;) Jadi ngga aneh dooong kalo sekarang aku pengen kursus make-up hihihihi...

Les bahasa asing
Still couldn’t decide which language I want to learn. But it ranges between french, spanish, & italian. Somehow pengen belajar jepang (lagi) juga. Tapi begitu inget harus belajar huruf-hurufnya, jadi malesss :D Hey, I want to do this for fun! Bukan untuk nambah masalah :p

Belajar fotografi
Basi emang. Everybody seems to do it. But I love taking pictures. And I have two of the most beautiful objects to shoot: my husband & daughter :) Again, this is an expensive hobby. So...ngga tau kapan bisa kejadian :D

Ikutan seminar tentang anak
Segala sesuatu tentang pendidikan anak, cara ngebesarin anak, pokonya segala sesuatu yang berhubungan dengan anak deh! Padahal kan banyak tuh! Tapi belum pernah sekalipun aku ikutan. I’m sure they all teach you “just” theories. Tapi tau teori itu juga bagus kan ;)

Nyelesain nulis
Nulis novel, that is. Yesss... I’ve been writing this story for... 2 years? Sampe sekarang belom selesai. Padahal udah tinggal dikit lagiii...



Ayo, Farika!! Stop making plans! Just do it already, damn it!!! :D

Once Upon A Time

...ada masanya aku hobi ngaku “Aku single!”.

Tapi kenalan sambil ngomong “Aku, Farika, istrinya Ica.” kok lebih merdu kedengerannya ya? It feels like a fixed sentence & Farika Rezina Lawendatu has a really nice sound, don’t you think?! :)


...rasanya keren banget kalo ngejawab “Aku kerja di advertising agency di Sudirman. Di lantai 16/20/22 gedung yang tinggi ituuu!”

Ngga taunya jawab “Aku ibu rumah tangga. Kegiatanku ngurus anak di rumah.” bikin hati lebih puas & tenang. Nemenin main, bacain buku, ngelonin, mandiin, gantiin popok, nyusuin, nyuapin. Malemnya nyiapin baju tidur suami, nemenin makan...dan lain-lain :p


...aku ngerasa hebat nyebut diri sebagai “Copywriter”. Pake kaos bertuliskan COPYWRITER di punggung, ngejelasin job des-nya, & pamer iklan-iklan apa aja yang udah dibuat, rasanya over the top.

Tapi ternyata ngga ada apa-apanya dibanding dengan bilang “Aku ibunya Kukka.” Yes, sir! Bayi perempuan yang fotonya bertebaran di account-ku di dunia maya itu anakku. Pipi gembil yang sering dicolekin orang asing itu punya anakku. Baby blabber yang bikin orang nyamperin karena gemes itu ocehan anakku :)


...aku suka pamer “Keponakanku itu ballerina lho! Dia cantik, stylish & pinter.”

Tapi begitu cerita “Kukka giginya udah 5, hampir bisa jalan & ngoceh melulu!”, dada rasanya lebih sesak membludak, penuh perasaan bangga & bersyukur.


Ternyata emang bener... Keluarga, ngga ada matinya.

- Vito Corleone: "Do you spend time with your family? Good.
Because a man that doesn't spend time with his family, can never be a real man." -

Dibuang Sayang

'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'

'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'

'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life'

'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back..'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.'

'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.'

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'



*Maya Angelou about being 70 on Oprah*

(Unawesome?) Awesomeness

Because Exter was sweet enough to give me a “funky gal” award, so I feel really obligated to do this task she gave me. I have to publicize 7 things about me that is considered awesome. So pardon me if I’m being too proud & narcissistic. Ecky asked me to :p

I’m awesome coz the second I was born, I’ve been blessed with a fairy tale life, if not a sinetron imitation :D

I’m awesome coz I’m a girl who knows what she wants, pursues it & doesn’t lose her dignity while doing it.

I’m awesome coz I can love someone like there’s no tomorrow & not afraid to show it to the whole world, every second, every day.

I’m awesome coz I can have a good time if I want to & can stop whenever it’s necessary. Wait... Is “good” the right word? Ex? Help me here, will ya! :p

I’m awesome coz I didn’t need a second thought to decide whether I want to be a working mom or a stay-home mom for Kukka.

I’m awesome coz I can keep my long-time promise, which I’ve made before I even decide to ever get married & have children. To breastfeed my child. It’s been 10 months & I still breastfeed Kukka. Sore & bloody nipple? Pfft... Bring it on!! :p

And I’m super, super awesome coz I have the love of my life as a husband & a beautiful angel as a daughter.

Ah... My awesomeness would be sooo unawesome if God didn’t intervene :)

Now, I tag you to tell me all about your awesomeness:

Neng Keke
Miunds
Queerine
Dinda
Alia
Tika
Dee

Grumpy Old Man

Bersuamikan Ica itu gampang-gampang susah. Mmm... Wait... Lebih banyak susahnya sih :p Nah, salah satu yang paling gampangnya adalah bisa ketauan kapan dia membaik kalo lagi sakit. Ada 1 ciri-ciri pasti yang obvious banget.

C E R E W E T.

Bawel. Banyak tingkah. Manja berlebihan. Cari perhatian. Menggemblung. Semuanya 1 tingkat lebih tinggi dibanding kalo dalam kondisi “normal”.

You have to be able to crack a certain code tho. Karena kalo dia lagi sakit yang masih di level “standar”, dia juga (masih) amat sangat cerewet. Kompleeeeeeeeeen mlulu! Like during his stay at the hospital. Semua-mua-muanyaaa dikomplen. Dokter, suster, makanan, ngga ada yang bisa lolos dari caci-makinya hkhkhkkk... Kalo yang soal makanan sih aku bisa ngerti banget. I don’t think anybody in his right mind would ever WANT to eat the food. Bubur yang harusnya rasanya standar aja, ngga karuan rasanya. Apalagi buat lidah orang sakit. (Lhooo ko jadi ikutan ngomel?!)

Anyways, back to Ica’s cerewetness. Komplenan bertubi-tubi ini baru muncul pas hari ke 3-4, dimana kondisi dia udah agak membaik. Awal-awal komplenannya masih “lucu”. Mengesalkan tapi cukup menghibur hehehe... I came to the point when I couldn’t stop laughing. Aku ketawa sampe nangis-nangis. Nangis geli sama nangis stress beda tipis lah pokonya! :D Ibarat emoticon, aku udah ROTFL + LMAO sambil bercucuran aer mata. Why? Because the sela-sela bitching-nya Ica, tiba-tiba di kepala muncul nama yang menurut aku amat sangat cocok buat dia.

GRUMPY OLD MAN.

Hkhkhkhkhkhkmmhpf.... He’s a man. He’s very, very grumpy. And he’s old. huhihihuhiuhiuhuihiuhii.... Okay, okay. 33 is hardly old. But him being “old” is one of our inside joke. Dibanding muka aku yang alhamdulillah masih sering dianggap anak SMP, mukanya Ica lebih “sesuai” dengan umurnya :p Makanya kata “tua”, “toku”, “tuwir” adalah ledekanku buat dia yang hampir selalu bisa menjatuhkan semangat & martabatnya hihihihihi... And believe me. It’s hard to find ledekan yang bisa bikin dia sedikit speechless :p At that moment, Ica sitting on the hospital bed, complaining about almost EVERYTHING, was the perfect description of a grumpy “old” man :D :D :D

It was cute & funny. But as it reached a certain level, it became pretty annoying :D Especially waktu kondisi kesehatan aku juga lagi ngga fit. Tenggorokan meradang, kepala pusing, badan lemes, kurang tidur. Dan yang cape juga bukan cuma fisik, tapi juga pikiran. Mikirin Kukka, yang biasanya selalu nempel kemana pun aku pergi, stress ngeliat suami in pain & ngga mau makan, mikirin biaya pengobatan, dll. Alhasil kesabaran juga menipis. Which is very bad, if you had a grumpy old man for a husband :p Jadi, sekarang aku mau minta maaf sama “old man”-ku.

Bebiku, cintaku, yayangkuuuw...
Maaf ya aku kurang sabar ngurus kamu.
Maaf aku diem aja, ngga nanggepin omelan kamu.
Janji deh, ngga akan jutak-jutek lagi :p
Ngemanjainnya bakal dilebihin lagi.
Ngga apa-apa kamu grumpy (& old hkhkhkhk)
Itung-itung latihan because I do want to grow old with you.
Sehat ya, sayang... Coz my heart is shattered into gazillion pieces seeing you like this.
And yes! Du bist immer noch mein nummer 1 :)

Rumah Sakit Khayalan

Kalo suatu hari nanti, aku dapet rejeki barokah yang berlimpah-ruah, setelah bikin mesjid, aku pengen bikin rumah sakit.

Rumah sakitku dari bentuknya aja udah homey & bersahabat untuk semua orang dari berbagai kalangan. Ngga akan ada pihak yang ngerasa terintimidasi ato males untuk berobat di situ. Rumah sakitku punya taman yang luas & hijau, ada kolam ikan & aer terjun kecil. Supaya kalo pasien bosen di kamar, dia bisa jalan-jalan sambil menghirup udara segar. Kamarnya semua nyaman & bersih, mulai dari kelas paling rendah sampe paling tinggi. Hiburannya juga banyak. Apa aja, nantilah dipikirinnya hihihihi... Yang pasti TV isinya bukan cuma channel lokal :p

Nah, yang paling penting dokter-dokternya. Dokter yang mau kerja di rumah sakitku bakal ngelewatin berbagai macam ujian yang super ketat. Jago di bidang masing-masing sih udah pasti harus banget! Tapi ditambah juga harus supel & compassionate. Sekalinya ada pasien yang kumplen soal dokter yang ngga komunikatif, jutek ato sebangsanya, si dokter aku kasih SP, maksimal 2x! Lewat itu, pecaaat!!! :p

Ini berlaku juga buat perawat-perawatnya. Ditambah, kalo keluar-masuk kamar harus pelan-pelan!!! Jangan sampe ngebangunin pasien yang udah dengan susah payah berusaha tidur! Kalo mau “aplusan” (<-- this is the new word I’ve learned here at the hospital :D), ngga perlu lah abring-abringan lapor ke pasien. Kayanya pasien ngga peduli deh perawat mo ganti shift atau apa... Yang penting, perawat selalu ada saat dibutuhin, 24 jam!

Nah, urusan perut juga penting nih!! Makanan di rumah sakitku bakal ngerubah persepsi orang tentang hospital food yang biasanya ngga enak & dingin. Makanannya sehat, bergizi, tapi juga super yummy! Bikin si pasien malah pengen nambah & nambah lagi (tanpa biaya tambahan ;p) I would find the best chef in town yang juga ahli gizi. Not 1 but many. Coz tiap pasien kan kebutuhan makanannya beda-beda. Jadi makanannya ngga disamaratakan. Pokonya istri si pasien ngga bakalan nyelundupin rantang isi gepuk & sambel terasi deh! Atau sampe harus hunting steak ke restoran di Novotel Bogor malem-malem, & ujung-ujungnya malah bawa grilled king prawn :D

Last but not least, mau tajir, mau tinggal di kolong jembatan, semua dapet pelayanan & perawatan terbaik. Bayar bisa belakangan, & buat yang ngga mampu, totally free. Pokonya my hospital will be perfect!!

Hah.... What’s next? Hmmm... Oh, I know!

A PERFECT orphanage :)

Heartbroken

Okay. This is not how I pictured it would be.

If I ever had to leave Kukka with her grandparents, to spend 2 or 3 nights alone with her dad, I imagined we would be in a romantic place. Or in some happening scene, where babies are “not allowed” :)

Tapi kenyataannya, aku harus ninggalin Kukka di rumah Opa & Neti-nya karena bapanya dirawat di rumah sakit. Dengue fever....

12 years by his side, I have never seen Ica in so much pain. And the worst part was there’s nothing I could do for him. I couldn’t make his pain go away. I couldn’t help him sleep tight at night, or ever. I was so afraid to even hug him. I was afraid I would hurt him even more. All I could do was cry... When he wasn’t looking...

Yang bikin tambah stress juga, si pa dokter baru “memvonis” Ica kena DBD tuh hari kedua di RS. Sebelumnya kita semua di awang-awang yang sangat ngga mengenakkan. Kebayang ngga sih takutnya kaya apa, ngga tau kena apa, sakit apa!?!? Aku jadi emosian :D Cerewet sama perawat-perawat, gatel pengen nanya ini-itu sama dokter. Sialnya, ngga sempet ketemu pa dokter karena pas dia meriksa Ica, aku lagi pulang ke rumah mertua untuk ngurus Kukka.

Ah yes... My other baby.

It’s amazing to see how a 10 months old baby can be so understanding. Sejak lahir, Kukka ngga pernah tidur jauh dari aku. Paling jauh cuma beda 10 langkah sama aku. Tiba-tiba 3 hari yang lalu dia harus tidur sama kakek-neneknya. Tanpa ada “latihan” sebelumnya. Ajaibnya, Kukka tidur pules bablas sampe pagi. Ngga ada tuh bangun-bangun tengah malem minta disusuin atau digendong-gendong. Padahal sebelum bapanya sakit, Kukka bangun 2-3 kali (lagi) tiap malem. Setiap aku lagi di RS, Kukka juga ngga pernah rewel atau ngerepotin siapa-siapa. Makan lahap, mandi pinter, bobo mau, maen apalagi :) Tapi begitu aku muncul di depan mukanya, langsung deh manjanya keluar. Ngerengek ngga jelas, ngomel-ngomel sambil matanya nyureng ngeliatin aku ;)) Tapi begitu aku pergi lagi, back to *manis mode* :)

Tonight is my 3rd night away from my precious baby, to be right by my big baby’s side :) Meskipun trombositnya masih turun, he looks much better than before. Tonight he's able to sleep & snore (again :p) without the need of a sleeping pill. Insya Allah, he will get better & better every day.

My tears are still here tho. Each time I have to wave my baby daughter goodbye...